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Hello !
Maintaining a good relationship is work. Such a simple statement, and true, but one we often fail to remember. This newsletter offers some strategies to help you in your relationships.
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 The success of any relationship depends on individuals ability to weather through life transitions. Problems in a relationship can range from relatively benign flaws to serious pain and trust violations. Whether your relationship is in a marriage, between parent-child, siblings or friends there are several things that will help you to make it successful.
Friendship: A relationship that is built on friendship is more likely to have staying power. People who genuinely like each other and enjoy spending time with one another provide a foundation for lasting love. And although a friendship link is not appropriate for a parent with young children, the work placed into raising children can ultimately result in friends when the kids become adults.
Communication: Those who are able to express their feelings openly, in a safe environment, typically deal better with difficult situations as they arise. Although it may seem that staying quiet keeps the peace, frequently frustrations will build over time becoming larger than life and resulting in an escalation at some later point.
Listen but don't judge: When people are committed to one another it is natural to want to protect and save the loved ones from hurt. Sometimes the greatest gift one can give to their loved ones is the space to vent and release their emotions without judgement.
Humor: People who can find humor in themselves and their situations tend to be able to deescalate situations that would otherwise get out of control. No one is perfect. No relationship is perfect. To maintain strong bonds with another requires time, work, commitment and, yes, a sense of humor!
Affection: Happy relationships generally involve people who can show their affection without words. Small acts of kindness can refuel your relationship when you or your partner needs it the most.
Relationship Vision: Do you see yourself still in the relationship in 5 years? 10 years? 50 years? Those people who create a vision of how their relationship will look over time are more likely to be there for each other throughout life.
Give and Take: Strong, true relationships require give and take and compromise. There will be periods of time when one individual is stronger than another, and at some point the balance will shift. Both parties must be willing to share the burden of work.
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For many parents of teens, bonding with their kids seems as likely as living on the moon. But, even though they may not show it, most teens do care about spending time with their parents. But expecting the teen to tell or show their parents is a huge expectation. Instead, as the parent, find the common ground and offer plenty of opportunities to share.
When my son was about ten years old, and starting the process of moving away from Mom, he also enrolled in a karate class. After a few months of driving back and forth and watching, I wondered about joining him. I asked him what he thought, and he surprised me by saying he though it would be cool! So, for about six years we rode back and forth together, supporting each other as we progressed in rank until we both held black belts. I had never imagined how those car rides would provide a space for sharing that never would have otherwise occurred. And when there seemed to be nothing left to talk about we always had karate!
Find common ground. For some families game nights provide the venue for together time. For others it is going to sporting events, or watching them on TV and cheering together (or against each other). Create traditions for birthdays and holidays. The kids may sneer or even laugh at the moment, but later you may find them sharing memories and enjoying the same traditions with their children.
Try to meet your child in the middle when things get tense. Pick your battles remembering that safety is always first, but perhaps the pink hair isn't so bad. I know many young adults who at one time had multiple earrings and face piercings and now display no metal at all!
When your daughter slams the door in your face, or chooses a friend over you, don't take it personally. Although your feelings may be hurt, try to be understanding and instead of complaining, try using her medium to stay in contact through IMs or texting.
Don't forget to just have fun. The teen years are challenging, but are also a necessary path to adulthood. Make sure your kids know you love them and are there for them. Establish boundaries while letting them test the waters of their emerging independence. And although I must confess to being fearful, angry and hurt many times during my own children's adolescence, my faith in them and time has paid off. They are now two of my very best friends.
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| The Life Purpose Process© |
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I use the Life Purpose Process: 7-Step Model for Clarity and Results© created by Fern Gorin of the Life Purpose Institute© to help clients identify and take the first steps to realize their goals. This process has been used successfully for over 40,000 clients worldwide as they have clarified their life purpose and moved into their life's work.
In addition to life purpose, wellness and career coaching, I provide focused coaching to build leadership skills helping you maximize your strengths and those of your peers and employees.
Call now to set up a FREE 30-minute consultation to discover how working with me can move you closer to reaching your goals.
Call 603-359-7053 or use the link below to schedule your consultation directly.
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Thank you for your subscription to LifeEssential Coaching Newsletter. Best Wishes for a Joy Filled Life!
Andrea G. Gordon, M.Ed.
Certified Life Purpose and Career Coach
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LifeEssential Coaching Website
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In This Issue
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Contact Information
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Andrea G. Gordon, M.Ed.
603-359-7053
website
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Two Tools for a Health Weight
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Food Journal: "I forgot all about that Danish before I polished off the French Fries." Quick! Tell me everything you ate over the last week. No? How about the last 24 hours? Your last meal?
Many of us can barely remember what we eat in a single day. Keeping a food journal, recording everything you eat or drink (including water) will keep you honest with yourself and help you identify the strengths and weaknesses in your diet. For people with emotional attachments to food, recording your emotions can have a profound effect on curbing comfort eating. The internet has many templates that can be used, or go to a bookstore and buy a beautiful pre-made journal.
Portion Control
Knowing what an ounce of potato chips actually looks like in your hands will keep you from scarfing down half a bag and calling it an ounce. Portion size knowledge also puts into perspective the recommendation of 5 servings of fruits and vegetables when you realize that 1 serving of leafy vegetables fits into both of your palms placed together. Take some time to learn what a serving really looks like. You may be pleasantly surprised to find it is more (or less) than you expected.
Together, using a food journal and portions control can help you monitor what you eat, develop self control and master the art of a balanced, nutritious and tasty diet.
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Honey Lime Salmon Recipe
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Salmon is known as a superfood with omega 3s. Compined with citrus juices containing vitamin C that boost immunity and glucosamine this dish is tasty and health.
Ingredients:
4 salmon fillets, about 6 oz each with skin left on
4 tablespoons of honey
3 tablespoons fresh lime juice
2 tablespoons orange juice
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
Directions:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Grease a 9 X 13 baking pan. Place salmon, skin side down, in prepared pan. Combine honey, lime juice, and orange juice and blend. Sprinkle the fillets with salt and pepper then spoon the honey and juice mixture over the fillets. Bake 10-12 minutes or until fish flakes easily with a fork.
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Opportunities with Andrea
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As your life coach I will provide you with a safe and supportive environment where you can clarify your goals, identify changes you would like to see in your life, and discover the options available to help you make the change. Each session we will identify small, achievable steps that ultimately will result in you reaching your goals.
Call to set up a free 30-minute consultation to see how I can help you conquer the challenges of change in your life and career.
Call 603-359-7053 or use this link to schedule your consultation:
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