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As a leader in your organization, you have undoubtedly been faced with having to convey difficult news or seemingly drastic new plans to your employees or team members.  How have you handled that task in the past? 

 

Do you couch the big announcement between details of company softball team uniforms and new employee orientation information?  Or do you take the opposite tack and call the staff together to feed them a forceful and factual statement, without any consideration for how it will affect their lives and careers?  The reality is that most of us fall someplace in between those two extremes.  Regardless of where you sit on the continuum, here are some ways to make your task more successful.

 

Start by considering the communication environment.  For example, what is the best day and time to deliver your news?  Which executives or colleagues should be there to back you up?  What material, if any, should accompany the announcement?

 

Next, determine the optimum amount of contact.  The more complicated, difficult, or sensitive the information you have to convey, the more contact you'll need with the people involved.  You may want to break down the large group and have a pre-meeting with those who will be most acutely affected. 

 

Finally, deliver the news to the group in a warm yet straightforward tone.  Address the likely short, medium and long-term outcomes.  Then finish by sharing how the news will likely affect employees themselves.  If you do not know yet what the full consequences will be, make a verbal commitment to another meeting or announcement when you have more information.

 

  "Conflict is inevitable, but combat is optional."

 

Difficult conversations are a normal part of life. No matter what personal or professional gains you make, there will always be difficult conversations that have to take place. Let's look at what you could do to make them easier.  Better yet, how about making those conversations more impactful, too? Let's get started.

 

Perhaps the old friend you hired has become a liability to the company, and you have been chosen to fire him. Or maybe the project you are working on took twice as long as you told the client it would, but you can’t afford not to charge for the extra time. According to The Harvard Negotiation Project, a research team and authors of Difficult Conversations, there are actually three undercurrents driving the energy behind each conversation you have.

 

1.The “What Happened” Conversation 

 

Let’s face it, no matter how we phrase it, we are usually telling the other side that they are to blame. The fact is that there isn’t a right or wrong. You may reply, “But I KNOW that he is wrong!” Actually, the only certainty is that you and your counterpart have completely conflicting perceptions, interpretations and values. Shift the focus away from establishing blame and toward an acknowledgment that we can never truly know other peoples’ intentions.

 

2.The "Feelings" Conversation

Regardless of how much you try to check your emotions at the door, there are emotional undercurrents to most difficult conversations. Even more, difficult situations don’t just involve feelings, they are based on feelings. Sometimes a situation is so sensitive that feelings can’t even be broached. You will benefit from knowing how to acknowledge and talk about the feelings associated with the situation.

 

3.The "Identity" Conversation

This conversation is often the most subtle and complex. However, it offers leverage in managing anxiety and improving your results in the other two conversations. This conversation asks “What does this say about me?” Even when you are the one who is delivering the bad news, identity still comes into play. How will people see you after this conversation?

 

As you can tell, this method is really about conflict resolution and starts by being able to effectively listen to the perspectives of the other person in the conflict situation and then depersonalize the conflict.