The point of no return.  

 

That moment when the sexual charge in the pelvis, genitals, and for some, the entire body, builds to a peak then overflows into orgasm.  Roller coaster enthusiasts call it air time.  Though our bodies may be different, the way men and women experience orgasm is actually quite similar.

 

Vance and Wagner performed a carefully controlled study in 1976 in which college students were asked to describe their own orgasms.  The researchers found that when all anatomical references were removed, it was not possible to reliably determine gender when reading descriptions of orgasm. 

 

The women surveyed described the sensations of orgasm as beginning with an intense tightening sensation in the clitoris and/or at the opening and along the walls of the vagina, accompanied by a feeling of being suspended in time and space, followed by an intensely pleasurable sensation that usually initiates pulsations in the genitals that spread throughout the pelvis.  These pulsations are often described as electric, warm and throbbing. 

 

Men described the sensation of orgasm as beginning with sharp, intensely pleasurable tightening sensations in the perineum, anus, prostate and genitals.  These pleasurable sensations build to an overwhelming pitch, causing the entire body to tingle as if floating for an instant in negative g-force, followed by a feeling of explosion in the genitals.  Men also report sensations of gushing warmth through the penis when the orgasm is accompanied by an ejaculation. 

 

In the Tantric practice, we are most interested in the air time, the experience of being suspended.  Negative gs.  No longer building to a peak, not yet falling over the edge – on the brink.  It is here that Being is revealed. 

 

Normally, lovers are concerned mainly with the orgasm itself.  The feeling of release.  For some, sex is just a means to relieve the body and the mind of accumulated tension.  For others, the sensitive awareness of this turning point in the experience of sex is a timeless voyage into freedom.  Love.  True connection.  Communion.

 

It is a place where we encounter who we Are, where we no longer tell the lies we tell and live just to get by in the world – and we stop creating a world that expects and rewards such lies.  Simple lies, like saying yes when you feel no.  Saying it's ok, when you know it isn't.  Keeping yourself a secret.  

 

For so many, it’s hard to even know what’s the truth, we’ve spent so much time in the marketplace of fitting in.  But air time?  That you can rely on.  It never lies.  It’s who you Are.  And the more time you spend suspended, the more familiar Being will be. 

 

I hesitated, when writing the first line of this article because many people think of the point of no return as the moment when orgasm is inevitable.  But, then I realized, this is it exactly.  Take a minute right now, imagine that feeling of negative g-force suspended just-before-orgasm ecstasy . . .  

 

That is You.  

 

That's who you truly Are beyond everything you've learned, taught, thought you could be.  Now, imagine living in that state - yes, I'm serious - imagine who you'd be in the world with that kind of foundation.  (Relax your face a bit.)  What would that be like?!?

 

Living life from Being is the perpetual point of no return.  Continuous love, true connection, communion.  I, for one, hope I never come back.

 

This meditation is done as you are going to sleep. Give yourself time to take a hot shower or bath before bedtime to relax your body and still your mind. 

 

Begin by lying quietly in your bed, allowing your body and breathing to relax completely. Let your body take any position, finding one that feels comfortable for you. Then, take some time to simply be with yourself.

 

In this meditation, you will begin to explore the turning point between sleep and wakefulness.

 

When you feel warm and comfortable, close your eyes and begin to wait.  Wait for the moment when wakefulness begins to turn.  You will feel your body getting heavier.  You will hear yourself breathing more deeply.  Remain relaxed, soft, alert.  

 

It is only an instant, and in the beginning it may be subtle but you will feel it in your belly - like the sensations just before orgasm - the sensations of being suspended on the rollercoaster before it roars down the hill.  Stay relaxed, open, and don't worry if you miss it the first few nights.  Give yourself time to become acquainted with the turning point, that place where Being is revealed.