1. Manage the child’s behavior without raising their own consciousness first.
2. Insist that children follow an outside authority and learn to obey.
3. Parent in this moment, doing what is fast, easy, and comfortable for the adult.
4. Focus on what they decide to do in response to what happens to them as parents.
5. Work to make themselves indispensable to their children.
6. Surround their children with noise.
7. Take things personally and respond from an ego perspective.
8. Equate themselves with their thinking and let their thoughts direct their behavior.
9. Resist the present parenting moment and attempt to control it by making it into something different.
10. Emotionally resist the what is of the parenting situation and invest energy in wishing it wasn’t so.
11. Outwardly resist parenting situations with no regard to the effects that follow.
12. Focus on problems, amplifying them and making them bigger.
13. Carry grievances, continuing to resent the past.
14. Believe they are the teachers and the children are the learners.
15. Believe the parenting situation causes their emotions.
16. Try to spare children from all suffering.
17. Focus on the past and the future, ignoring the present moment.
18. Expresses desire for more or to have things be different regularly, focusing on lack and limitation.
19. Bring more darkness to darkness.
20. Invest in things.
21. Believe that neat and orderly is what is most important.
22. Do not hold children accountable for their actions or do it with anger and control through punishment.
23. Judge mistakes as bad and see them as behavior to be avoided.
24. Structure is created to meet the needs of adults and children are expected to adapt their schedules accordingly.
25. Multitask when they are with children, focusing their attention on several things at the same time.
26. Invest their time doing blame and punishment.
27. Believe they are right and force compliance.
28. Use unself-responsible language that reflects a victim mentality, lack of awareness of personal responsibility, and denial of ownership for one’s actions and feelings.
29. Use Language that helps children see themselves as cause.
30. Do children’s thinking for them.
31. Speak for children, often telling other people what their children think.
32. Solve children’s problems for them.
33. Rescue children frequently, denying them opportunities to experience the legitimate consequences of their actions.
34. Use a style of praise that is predominately evaluative so the child’s self-esteem becomes external and they chase after praise.
35. Communicate anger, irritation, and annoyance in ways that attack character, personality and wound the spirit.
36. Offer children no choices, telling them what and how they will do things.
37. Treat parenting as an inconvenience and intrusion on the adult’s time, schedule, and needs.
38. Spank and yell at children defending their actions as appropriate.
39. Believe the most important part of what just happened with their children is what they do about what just happened with their children.
40. Do mental score-keeping dragging the past into the present and projecting it into the future.
41. Think children should not be able to have everything they want and should learn to do without.
42. Use shame, blame, and guilt on children manipulating them into a quick fix compliance to the adult’s wishes
43. Emotionally resist what is with judging, labeling and shoulding.
44. Take action from a state of non-acceptance.
45. Judge, think, emote, and act without observing silently.
46. Talk more. Act less.
47. Are unaware that the Attraction Principle is operating in their lives and are therefore unconscious of the ways it is affecting their families.
48. See themselves as victims who are unable to choose effective parenting strategies.
49. Use inappropriate time-outs such as drugs, alcohol, sexual addiction, and compulsive work.
50. Blame others, including their children for the state of their family life.
51. Expect children to behave like finished products.
52. Think what they are doing and why they are doing it is more important that how they are doing it.
53. Think doing to is their main job.
54. Equate the deed with the doer when implementing a discipline strategy.
55. See children as bad and make them wrong as they hold them accountable for their behaviors.
56. Demand their children think, feel, and act the way the parents do.
57. Work at fixing situations without nurturing.
58. Give children judgment, criticism, shame and demand that they learn the lesson.
59. Believe that parent should be convenient, time-efficient, and easy.
60. Look continually for the children to improve and rarely look inward to examine their own beliefs, skills, and attitudes.
61. Focus primarily on the parenting world that is, attracting more of what is into their parenting lives.
62. See the current parenting situation as awful and choose future responses from that view.
63. Do not have the time, skills, or desire to debrief with their children.
64. Are too busy to give their children experiences with nature
65. Create rules for children and demand compliance.
66. Try to fill their children up with goodness.
67. Interact with their children without being aware of their state of consciousness.
68. Are quick to attach labels to children and situations so that behaviors seem old and connected to the past.
69. Allow their compulsive thinking to direct their lives.
70. Derive their sense of self from their children’s accomplishments and behaviors.
71. Believe their children belong to them.
72. Criticize, shame, and belittle.
73. Concentrate on what they have to do in parenting situations.
74. Complain and feel resentful about parenting situations and children’s behavior.
75. Make others wrong.
76. Persistently resist with increasing emotion and action.
77. Expect children to give attention, time, and listening to the parent.
78. Feel superior to their children.
79. The parents need the children more than the children need the parents.
80. Speak differently to children than they do to adults, often being condescending and “better than.”
81. Coerce children to become who the parent wants them to be.
82. Do for children until they are unable to do for themselves.
83. Lead with discipline and punishment.
84. Think children should or should have and frequently tell them so.
85. Compare their children to others seeing if others are doing more or better.
86. Believe decision-making is for adults.
87. Resentful of the success of other children or parents.
88. See nature as something to be conquered, overcome.
89. Are overwhelmed by feelings, numb them out, and expect children to do the same.
90. Are unaware that they are at the throttle of their train of thought and accept whatever thought seems to pop into their minds.
91. Disrespect, ridicule, and make fun of the other parent in the presence of the children.
92. Consider violence and killing entertainment and share that entertainment with children.
93. Try to talk kids out of a tantrum mode or enter tantrum mode themselves.
94. Cave in to anger, whining, crying, begging, or sulking and teach children that those strategies are a good way to get what they want.
95. Use time out for punishment.
96. React to the words, taking them personally, when a child is in tantrum mode.
97. Lead with condemnation when things don’t go well.
98. Focus on children’s perceived faults.
99. Get trapped in a situation and can not see it from other perspectives.
100. Are perpetually busy and can not hear.
101. Work for solutions and decisions that are exclusive.