Parent Newsletter #102

July 12, 2011

Welcome! This is a free parent newsletter offered to you by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller.

Mission Statement

Our mission is to strengthen families and improve parent communication skills (including our own) by helping parents learn practical, usable verbal strategies for raising responsible, caring, confident children.

In This Issue

  1. Quote
  2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation
  3. Bumper Sticker
  4. Article: Monitoring Children Online
  5. Parent Talk Tip: What have you said to your child today that shows that you can learn from your children?

1. Quote:

"It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it myself.”
Joyce Maynard

2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation

What are you doing for your children today that they could be doing for themselves? What would happen if you stopped doing it?

3. Bumper Sticker

Noticed on a black Hummer in Baton Rouge, LA:
So Easy to Operate
Even a Child Can Do It.

4. Monitoring Children Online

By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
Astrid's mother noticed that when she walked into the computer room her daughter immediately changed websites. Sergio and his adolescent friends were giggling in his bedroom as they played with his computer. Shaunti, age ten, was in the computer room unattended as her parents watched two hours of their favorite television shows in another room.
The scenarios above call for active monitoring of children's online behavior. The key word in the previous sentence is ACTIVE. "Oh, I monitor my kids' internet behavior," you might be thinking. Really? Here are the facts from  
  1. 71% of parents believe their children use the internet for research, while only 23% of teens say they research online.
  2. 43% of teenage boys have downloaded files they do not want their parents to know about.
  3. 50% of parents believe they always know what sites their children visit.
  4. 24% of teens claim that their parents are never around when they are online. Only 6% of parents claimed they were never around.
  5. The older the children, the less likely it is that their parents will join them online. 
The following do's and don'ts about monitoring children's online behavior will help safeguard your children by helping them protect their privacy, handle commercial material, build positive relationships, and maintain trust within the family. 
  • DO set limits on internet access. You can do this by designating a certain time of the day for internet use or by setting a time limit with the child choosing when to spend that time.
  • DON'T ever put a computer in a child's bedroom. This is tantamount to putting the fox in the henhouse with the chickens. Keep this important piece of equipment in a public area of your home. The family room or living room are appropriate choices.
  • DO manage by walking into or through the room where your child is using the computer. Proximity behavior on your part increases his or her belief that you could walk by at any moment. This is not a threat. It is a behavior appropriate to protecting the health and safety of your children, which is your most important job.
  • DO set guidelines that are age appropriate. Yes, you can set your computer at age-level settings that allow for different levels of access at different ages. While this is important, it is and not enough guidance.
  • DON'T allow the computer to decide what is appropriate for your child and your family. You know your child better than anyone. Set limits and usage requirements that fit with your family values and the demonstrated level of responsibility shown by your child.
  • DO debrief. Ask about your children's online experience. Discuss new sites they are finding. Listen to why they like the games they enjoy. Hear what frustrates them.
  • DO use the Dynamic Discipline Equation, Responsibility Equals Opportunity. If your children's level of responsibility in using the internet decreases, so does their opportunity to use it. If the degree of responsibility remains the same, so does the opportunity.
  • DON'T dismiss your children's complaints that "Everybody else gets to do it," or "I need to do it for school." Listen to their concern. Although they may not get what they want, it's important that they feel heard.
  • DO model appropriate internet use yourself. There is a strong possibility that your children know as much or more about surfing the web as you do. They can likely find where you have been.
  • DON'T fall asleep, work in the yard for two hours, or go to a movie while your children have access to the computer if they have demonstrated the need for tight supervision. Take your role of supervisor seriously.
  • DO discuss at the dinner table or in the car what you have read or learned about internet bullying, sexting, predators, gossip and similar issues. Take the initiative before problems develop and keep communication flowing.
  • DO teach your children that not everything they read on the internet is true.  
The main goal of supervision is to make the supervision unnecessary. Your job here is to make yourself dispensable by helping your children learn to use the internet in a responsible way. They will need this level of responsibility when they are away from home. Internet access is now available on many cell phones, iPods, and library and school computers. As you build trust between you and your children concerning internet use, you will be building their trustworthiness and your peace of mind.
Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of Parent Talk Essentials. They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free Uncommon Parenting blog. To obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their website today: 

Parent Talk Essentials


5. Parent Talk Tip: What have you said to your child today that shows that you can learn from your children?

"I didn’t know that."
"You helped me learn something really important."
"Hon, listen to what I learned from Arturo this morning."
"You guys amaze me. I never would have thought of that."
"I like it when you're the teacher and I'm the learner."
"That wasn't easy for me to learn. How was it for you to be teaching me?"
"What you just said to her helped me relearn something important."
"You like being the teacher, don't you?"
"Will you teach me how to do that?"
"You know, I learned something just by watching you."

Chick Moorman

Contact Chick at:
1-877-360-1477 (toll-free)


Thomas Haller

Contact Thomas at:



Copyright 2011 Chick Moorman Seminars and Thomas Haller Seminars, all rights reserved. Share this with your circle.

The Parent Talk System Training of Trainers
There is still time to sign up for these important trainings.
Your help is desired. You can help the parents of your community. You can help the children of those parents. You can help yourself learn the Parent Talk skills by teaching them to others. You can help the other participants in these sessions learn from your experience and unique perspectives. You can help us create a better world, one parent and one child at a time. Isn’t it time for you to help?
Ann Arbor, MI
July 27 - 29, 2011 
Regent Hotel and Suites
Ann Arbor, MI 
Mt. Pleasant, SC
Aug. 1 - 3, 2011  
East Cooper Montessori Charter School
250 Ponsbury Road
Mt. Pleasant, SC  29464 

New Parent Workshops
Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman are now offering new two-hour parent programs based on their new book, Parent Talk Essentials: How to Talk to Kids about Divorce, Sex, Money, School and Being Responsible in Today's World. 
  • Parenting for School Success: Achievement, Homework, and a Positive Attitude
  • Dealing with Divorce: Helping Your Child Through This Important Transition
  • Raising Responsible Children: Fostering Self-Responsibility, Self-Discipline, and Self-Motivation
  • How to Talk to Your Kids about Sex: Beyond Now or Never
  • Raising Money-Wise Children: Rich or Poor
Currently booking fall programs. Affordable sessions are available now. Do your school, church, or community a real favor. Get the ball rolling. Talk to your school PTO, church group, or community program planner. Plan one or a series of sessions for the parents of your community.
Both Thomas and Chick have extremely busy schedules. Call today to ensure your place on one of their calendars.
Thomas Haller 
Chick Moorman

The Uncommon Parenting Blog
Learn to parent like no other so your children can grow up to be like no other.
Recent Blog Posts 
Subscribe to the blog feed or request to receive it via e-mail on the right-hand side of the home page.
Please join us at and become a regular reader and a responder on our new website. Sign up today on the right-hand side of the home page. And while you're there, check out some of the informational articles we have posted. 

Book of the Month
The Only Three Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need: Essential Tools for Busy Parents
by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
Finally, a book that delivers practical discipline techniques for busy parents . . .
The three practical, skill-based strategies presented in this useful book will help you:
  • Eliminate whining, back talk, and procrastination.
  • Gain cooperation without nagging or yelling.
  • Hold children accountable without wounding their spirit.
  • Communicate anger in a respectful way.
  • Design consequences that are reasonable, respectful, and related to the misbehavior.
  • Become the parent you always wanted to be.
These three amazingly simple strategies are verbal skills that will work with your children. Appropriate from tots to teens! 

Bonus Article: How to Deal with Lying: The Do's and Don'ts
Jason Roberts listened to his son's explanation of the missing cookies and then called him a liar. Brenda Taylor thought her three-year-old's lies were cute so she ignored them. Following what Chen thought was a lie, she told her daughter if she told the truth there would be no punishment this time.
While all of these parents love their children and want them to develop truth telling as a virtue, each violated one of the eighteen do's and don'ts of dealing with lying. Read on to find out how.

July 25 - Grand Rapids, MI.
Motivating the Unmotivated Ethically presented by Chick Moorman, 8:30 am - 4:30 pm. Advantage Discipline. For information contact Sarah Knapp at
July 27 - 29 - Ann Arbor, MI.
Parent Talk System Training of Trainers presented by Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman, 8:30 am - 4:30 pm. Ann Arbor Regent Hotel and Suites. For information contact Chick at Click here to register online.
Aug. 1 - 3 - Mt. Pleasant, SC.
Parent Talk System Training of Trainers presented by Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman, 8:30 am - 4:30 pm. East Cooper Montessori Charter School. For information contact Jody Swanigan at 843-216-2883 or email
Aug. 12 - San Antonio, TX.
Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am - 3:30 pm. John F. Kennedy High School. For information contact Shane Hubbard at
Aug. 15 - Irvington, IL.
Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am - 3:30 pm. Irvington Public School. For information contact Dave Fults at 618-249-6439 or email 

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