Do you like to lose? Most of us don't. In fact, some of us dislike it so much that we'll do whatever it takes to make sure that our kids are always winners. When they win this way, they always lose.
I sat on the living room floor, playing a simple board game with our four-year-old, Cody. As we took turns picking cards, the odds seemed consistently in his favor…he was nearing the always coveted goal of being the first to enter Candy Land.
Luck is a fickle friend.
Based on some quick calculations, it was clear to me that doom was on the horizon. His next card was sure to send him back a long way…far from carbohydrate heaven. Tension filled my body. Surely there was something I could do to prevent him from experiencing such despair. Maybe I could distract him and rearrange the cards so that he'd win.
Fighting this desire…I allowed him to be the loser. The tears and crying were heartbreaking. That is, until I remembered that learning about losing is part of life.
In our audio Helicopters, Drill Sergeants and Consultants
, we teach that loving parents allow their children to develop winning skills by allowing them to experience disappointments, make small mistakes, and experience the natural and logical consequences. Shielding them from all of life's hardships sends the message that they aren't strong enough to cope with their losses. Loving them through their sadness allows them to win every time they lose.
Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.
Dr. Charles Fay
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