Parent Newsletter #113

October 10, 2012

Welcome! This is a free parent newsletter offered to you by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller.


Mission Statement

Our mission is to strengthen families and improve parent communication skills (including our own) by helping parents learn practical, usable verbal strategies for raising responsible, caring, confident children.


In This Issue

1. Quote
2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation
3. Bumper Sticker
4. Article: The Family Meal Time
5. Parent Talk Tip: 10 Things to Say That Show Respect for the Other Parent


1. Quote:

"Kids are caught up in patterns of cruelty and aggression that have to do with jockeying for status. It's really not the kids that are psychologically troubled, who are on the margins or the fringes of the school's social life. It's the kids right in the middle, at the heart of things…often, typically highly, well-liked popular kids who are engaging in these behaviors."
 
Robert Faris


2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation

What if right now our planet needs more wisdom than it does higher test scores? What if our children need more affirmation than evaluation? Will your parenting reflect those needs?


3. Bumper Sticker

Noticed on a maroon Buick Lacrosse in Green Bay, WI:
 
We are the proud parents of a child whose self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn't need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of a car.


4. Article: The Family Meal Time

By Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman
 
You probably know what we are going to say. We're going to say it anyway. Family meal time is important. Having dinner together as a family can build connectedness, unity and a sense of belonging.
 
We live in a race-and-chase culture filled with soccer practice, math tutoring, music lessons, and a wide variety of other activities. Both children and adults are in various stages of coming and going. The family meal (dinner) is one opportunity for all to come together, to slow our lives down a bit and remember that people are more important than activities. Observing the ritual of a family meal is a choice. It is a deliberate decision on the part of the adults in the family to structure that important time into the fabric of the day with intentionality and consistency.
 
The quality of your family meal time is as important as having one. If you are constantly reminding children about table manners, you are defeating the purpose of building family oneness. Watching TV while you eat creates distance and announces to all involved that what is on TV is more important than their ideas, feelings, and opinions.
 
Use this important time to invite conversation. As the adult, it is your responsibility to structure the conversation, get it started, and make sure everyone has an opportunity to contribute. This is an important time, when all family members can practice speaking as well as listening. This time can be invested in discussing current events, debriefing an incident that happened at school, or considering the challenge facing a relative. Perhaps you can use the list of conversation starters below.
 
Whatever topic you use to promote conversation, the following guidelines will be helpful. Whoever wants to begin goes first. All others listen without interrupting. When the first person is done talking, others can ask questions about his/her ideas or feelings. They cannot share their thoughts or feelings yet. When the first person is done answering questions, the next person takes a turn. The same procedure is followed until everyone has had a turn. It is OK to pass. No one is forced to participate.
 
A structured process like the one above assures that all will get an opportunity to speak, be affirmed, and feel listened to. In addition, all will have an opportunity to listen, understand differing points of view, and affirm others. After using it several times, the process will become a habit, and reminders about following the process will dwindle.
 
Begin tonight. Grab a headline from the newspaper, something you heard on the radio, a favorite quote, or one of the topics below. Introduce it during dinner and let the conversation flow. Possible topics include:
 
Let's all tell where we saw beauty today.
 
Tell about one thing that surprised you today.
 
Sum up your day in one word. Explain.
 
Tell about a time you got frustrated today.
 
Share something you did today that you would change if you could do it over.
 
Who would like to suggest a topic for us to talk about tonight?
 
What is one quality you think you have that you inherited from a relative?
 
Complete these sentence starters. I wonder . . . I wish . . .
 
What is one thing you did to help someone else today?
 
Rate your day on a scale from 1-10. Why did you give it that number?
 
What would you have to do tomorrow to raise the number?
 
Tell us about something you did today that was outside of your normal routine.
 
What is something you would like to pat yourself on the back for?
 
What motivates you to attempt something new?
 
If you had to be an animal, which one would you choose?
 
What is something you learned in school today that you can put to use in your life?
 
Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of Parent Talk Essentials. They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free Uncommon Parenting blog. To obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their website today: www.uncommon-parenting.com


Parent Talk Essentials

CLICK HERE TO ORDER THE PARENT TALK ESSENTIALS.

5. Parent Talk Tip: 10 Things to Say That Show Respect for the Other Parent

"I will check with your mother (father) and get back to you on this."
 
"That sounds like a putdown. If you're mad at your mother, please tell her in a different way."
 
"Have you told your father what you appreciate lately?"
 
"Your mom is taking a time-away right now. How can I help you?"
 
"Your father does some things differently at his house. We don't have the exact same limits."
 
"Is that something you've already asked your father?"
 
"Your mom and I are in agreement on this."
 
"Sounds like your father and I have different opinions on this. We have agreed to disagree."
 
"I love your mother, even when I'm mad at her."
 
"I'm fixing this for dinner because I know it’s one of your mom’s favorites."


Chick Moorman

Contact Chick at:
 
1-877-360-1477 (toll-free)
www.facebook.com/chick.moorman

CLICK HERE TO VISIT CHICK'S WEBSITE.

Thomas Haller

Contact Thomas at:
 
989-686-5356
www.facebook.com/thomas.b.haller

CLICK HERE TO VISIT THOMAS' WEBSITE.

Copyright

Copyright 2012 Chick Moorman Seminars and Thomas Haller Seminars, all rights reserved. Share this with your circle.
 
 
 
________________________________________________________

Special Event
2013 Dates for the Parent Talk System:
 
Training of Trainers
 
Isn't it time for you now to answer the call and help the parents in your community learn the verbal skills necessary to become an uncommon and successful parent? Parents want to be successful and they want this information. You could be the one to give it to them.
 
Parent Talk System Facilitator Training - July 17-19, 2013
Bay Valley Resort & Conf. Ctr.
2470 Old Bridge Road
Bay City, MI 48706


Book of the Month

Parenting with Purpose Through the Holidays

by Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman

E-book ($9.95) [Add to Cart]
 
This exciting new e-book is filled with inspirational and practical ideas about how to make this your best family holiday season ever. It includes ways to build meaningful family traditions that extend your values and ways to connect with your spouse and children from a heartfelt space, plus a wealth of fun-filled learning activities for your children that keep them occupied and interested during the holidays. Only available via the Internet. Read it on your computer or print a copy for later use.


The Thomas and Valerie Show
Thomas and Valerie Haller are a dynamic husband-and-wife team from Bay City, Michigan. Thomas, a psychologist, and Valerie, an educator, combine their expertise to discuss important issues on family, relationships, and raising responsible, caring, conscious children. They offer practical solutions to difficult questions. They can be contacted for speaking engagements or interviews at thomas@thomashaller.com or vahaller@hotmail.com.
 
Listen live every Thursday on NPR Delta Q Radio 90.1 FM.
 
Past Radio Segments
Time Out for Time Out
Making Election Day a Family Affair
Winning the Candy Wars
Spanking Be Gone
Ending Homework Hassles
Understanding Transgender
 

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO PAST RADIO SEGMENTS.

Special Reports
We have over three dozen special reports on topics from toilet teaching to family vacation planning to sex education, all downloadable for a few dollars each. See the full list of special reports here!


Facebook/Twitter
Facebook
 
Both Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman have joined Facebook. We would both welcome an opportunity to be added to your friends list. Please send us a friend request that tells us you are a Parent Newsletter subscriber so we can recognize how we know you.
 
Twitter
 
Yes, we both Twitter.

Thomas B. Haller is now twitting. Instead of following what I am doing throughout the day, I invite you to follow what I am thinking. To join me as I tweet my thoughts, go to www.twitter.com/tomhaller.
 
Chick Moorman is now on Twitter. To sign up for Parent Talk Tips, timely questions, short but raging rants, bursts of inspiration, and random thoughts on parenting and teaching, follow the link. Why not be the first on your block to initiate regular contact? http://twitter.com/ChickMoorman

Media Schedule
Thomas on television answering viewer questions:
 
Family Matters Segment – Every Friday at 12:15 p.m. on WNEM TV5 News at Noon.
 
Family Matters Segment – Every Saturday at 8:45 a.m. on WNEM TV5 Weekend Wake-up.
 
Family Matters Segment – Every Sunday at 7:45 & 8:45 a.m. on WNEM TV5 Weekend Wake-up.
 
To view Dr. Tom's previous Family Matters segments, CLICK HERE.
 
Thomas on the radio answering questions and discussing hot topics:
 
Every Thursday morning at 7:30 a.m. on CARZ 108FM – Streaming live online www.wcrz.com.
 
Every Friday evening from 6:30 - 7:00 p.m. on AM1250. To see a listing of past topics and listen to the segments, CLICK HERE.
 
NPR, Q 90.1 FM - Delta College Quality Public Radio. Listen live every Thursday at 9:00 a.m. Click here to listen. To listen to past shows visit www.thethomasandvalerieshow.com.

Schedule
Nov. 19 - Chicago South, IL.
 
Respect and Responsibility presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.
 
Nov. 20 - Chicago North, IL.
Respect and Responsibility presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.
 
Nov. 26 - Atlanta, GA.
Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.
 
Nov. 27 - Raleigh, NC.
Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.
 
Nov. 28 - Richmond, VA.
Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.
 
Nov. 29 - Northern Virginia, VA.
Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.
 
Nov. 30 - Boston, MA.
Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.


Links
Personal Power Press • P.O. Box 547 • Merrill • MI • 48637

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