Love and Logic - Insider's Club
There are few things that tear at our hearts more than hearing our kids say, "I'm stupid."
At first glance the following parent seems to be right on track:
No you are not stupid. Honey, think of all of the things you are good at. How about reading? You're good at that! And, remember how much you improved in baseball last summer. Stupid kids don't learn how to hit curve balls like you did. And your art is wonderful. If you were dumb, would you have been able to learn how to create those drawings with such wonderful three-dimensional perspectives? I don’t think so.
At second glance, we realize that this well-meaning parent is actually lending credibility to their child's "I’m stupid" remark… by spending so much time and energy addressing it.
Consider employing a much simpler approach… one that avoids unintentionally reinforcing your youngster's self-deprecating remarks:
Honey, aren't you glad I don't believe that!
The most effective parents, smile, pat their child on the back, and give this sweet and simple response.
For more tips on this topic listen to the audio, Shaping Self Concept
Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.
Dr. Charles Fay
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