Parent Newsletter #121
November 8, 2013
Welcome! This is a free parent newsletter offered to you by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller.
Mission Statement
Our mission is to strengthen families and improve parent communication skills (including our own) by helping parents learn practical, usable verbal strategies for raising responsible, caring, confident children.
In This Issue
1. Quote
2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation
3. Bumper Sticker
4. Article: What to Pack for Your Holiday Trip
5. Change Your Words
6. Sign Language
7. It's a Fact
1. Quote
"Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse? Think of the last time you felt humiliated or treated unfairly. Did you feel like cooperating or doing better?"
Jane Nelson
2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation
What if the results you produce with parenting come less from what you are doing and more from the consciousness with which you are doing it?
3. Bumper Sticker
Noticed on a blue Mercury Milan in Gaylord, MI:
Midwives Help You Out.
4. Article: What to Pack for Your Holiday Trip
By Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman
The holiday season is here. Yes, it is. And that means travel for many of us. You know the line, "Over the river and through the woods…" It's to Grandma's house we go. Or Grandpa's. Or perhaps it's time to see cousins, aunts, uncles, the new baby, and Maryanne's new boyfriend.
You might be traveling for Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas or some other important holiday you celebrate in your family. You might be going for a week or a weekend. Perhaps you are making a day trip. Whether you are going there or others are coming to your place, it's time to start packing.
No, we're not going to tell you what to pack in your suitcase or car. You already know that. This travel information will focus on how to pack your mind with useful thoughts, assumptions, expectations, and attitudes. If you desire to create a meaningful holiday trip, do not leave what is in your mind to chance. Do deliberate mind-packing before you go.
1.  Pack an intention of helpfulness. If you are intending to be helpful, you will create or find ways to help by peeling potatoes, drying the dishes, carrying in firewood, leading the singing, or comforting an upset child.
2.  Pack a willingness to listen. Allow people to tell their story. Give them your eyes, attentive body language, your presence, and your time. Do not hijack the conversation and take it in the direction you’d like it to go. Someone this day desires to be listened to. Find them. Be there for them. Connect.
3.  Pack humility. Bragging and one-upmanship are no-no’s this trip. Leave them at home. They will be there when you get back. Of course your child did something better and brighter. Yes, the fish you pulled into the boat last summer was larger. This is not the time to share those stories.
4.  Pack your walking feet. There may be times when you need to walk out of a room and go to the kitchen or around the block. When politics or religion come up, it might be wiser to clear out than attempt to clear up the issue.
5.  Pack tongue band-aids. These come in handy when you frequently feel the desire to bite your tongue. Yes, it is important to confront racial, religious, or sex gender slurs, especially in front of your children. Still, there are milder issues that can be ignored in order to prevent escalation. Bite your tongue and count to ten.
6.  Pack an attitude of tolerance. People are different. The only person who needs to live their life the way you want them to live their life is you. Most every family has at least one member that is a bit weird. Accept them for who they are. They might just be sitting there thinking the same thing about you.
7.  Pack positive expectations. What you expect is what you unconsciously look for. What you look for is what you see. What you see is what you get. You create your own reality.
8.  Pack 100-percent responsibility. You are responsible for creation of your experience. No one can make you happy, sad, or mad. Those are choices you make. Own it, and create the day you desire.
9.  Pack your gift glasses, the ones that help you look for the gift. If things do not go exactly as you hoped, there is a gift there for you. Looking through your gift glasses will help you recognize it. Unwrap the gift and be grateful. No one else got that gift. It was designed especially for you.
10.  Pack a box full of appreciation. Many people invested hours in preparing meals, picking out gifts, and traveling to get wherever you’ve gathered. Share your appreciation. Be thankful for the time you have and the lessons you learned from this group of people. You may not see them for another year. Appreciate yourself for packing and implementing the strategies listed above.
By packing and implementing these ten important suggestions for your next holiday trip, you will increase the chances that you and your family create a loving, supportive time with friends and relatives. If you choose not to use them or they malfunction, there is one more emergency item to have on your trip.
11.  Pack an escape plan. When you or your spouse have had enough, if you get into a situation where you know it is time to go, it is helpful to have a well-developed escape route. One of you will know when enough is enough. Have a signal agreed on ahead of time. "We have a long way to go tonight" is one possibility. When you hear the signal, respond. Begin the process of hugs and good-byes. Better to leave early than to leave too late.
Best wishes for creating your best holiday trip ever.
Chick and Thomas
Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman are the authors of The Only 3 Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need. They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free Uncommon Parenting blog. To obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their website today:
The Only Three Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need: Essential Tools for Busy Parents
by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
Soft cover, 120-page book ($14.95) [Add to Cart]
Learn how to deal effectively with whining, backtalk, pouting, teasing, ignoring, procrastinating, lying, swearing, and other inappropriate behaviors.
This useful book delivers three practical, skill-based, amazingly simple verbal discipline strategies that will work with your children, from tots to teens!
5. Change Your Words
1. Change "homework time" to "study time."
This reduces struggles over whether or not a child really has homework and creates structure for regularly scheduled periods of study. No homework? Study chapter terms, teach something you learned to someone else, read related supportive material, make flash cards, review notes, etc.
2. Change the word "rules" to "healthy limits."
Children love to resist and break rules. It is more difficult to argue with healthy limits. Nine o’clock bedtime is not a rule. It is a healthy limit. Brushing your teeth is not a rule. It is a healthy limit. One hour of electronics a day is a healthy limit. Two cookies after dinner is a healthy limit. One of our main jobs as parents is to keep our children healthy and safe, not to create obedience to rules.
3. Change the word "no" to "yes" for teenagers.
"No, you can't go until your room is cleaned up" invites resistance. "Yes, you can go as soon as you get your room cleaned up" creates less resistance, as the teen feels more empowered and in control.
6. Sign Language

7. It's a Fact
We now have 15,241 subscribers to the Parent Newsletter, including subscriptions from every state and 27 countries. Thank you for your interest and support. We use it as motivation.
Chick Moorman
Contact Chick at:
1-877-360-1477 (toll-free)
Thomas Haller
Contact Thomas at:
Copyright 2013 Chick Moorman Seminars and Thomas Haller Seminars, all rights reserved. Share this with your circle.
Product of the Month
  The Language of Response-Able Parenting
Featuring Chick Moorman
 CD series ($39.95)  [Add to Cart]
This 5-CD series gives a strong overview of the Parent Talk System. It includes ideas on how to develop controlled choice for children, how to praise to create a strong internal sense of self-esteem, and how to stamp out learned helplessness. Learn skills necessary to manage negative behaviors, communicate anger without wounding the spirit, and help your children develop a solution-seeking attitude. Practical verbal strategies that work!
New-Year Parenting Workshops
With Chick Moorman or Thomas Haller
Coming to your school in 2014? It's up to you. Let us know if you want to get the ball rolling.
Practical two-hour sessions that parents can put to use immediately include:
  • The Only 3 Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need
  • Parent Talk: Words That Empower, Words That Wound
  • Good Praise/Bad Praise
  • How to Make Your Child Do Homework without Having a Nervous Breakdown Yourself
  • How to Talk to Your Children about Sex
  • The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose
  • Transforming Aggression in Children
Both Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman have joined Facebook. We would both welcome an opportunity to be added to your friends list. Please send us a friend request that tells us you are a Parent Newsletter subscriber so we can recognize how we know you.
Yes, we both Twitter.
Thomas B. Haller is now twitting. Instead of following what I am doing throughout the day, I invite you to follow what I am thinking. To join me as I tweet my thoughts, go to
Chick Moorman is now on Twitter. To sign up for Parent Talk Tips, timely questions, short but raging rants, bursts of inspiration, and random thoughts on parenting and teaching, follow the link. Why not be the first on your block to initiate regular contact? 
Media Schedule
Thomas on television answering viewer questions:
Relationship Matters – Every Monday at 9:15 am on WNEM TV5 Better Mid-Michigan
Family Matters with Thomas Haller Fridays at noon, Saturdays at 8:45 am, Sundays at   7:45 am and 8:45 am on WNEM TV5. Also streaming live at:
To view Dr. Tom's previous Family Matters segments, CLICK HERE.
Thomas on the radio answering questions and discussing hot topics:
Every Thursday morning at 7:30 am on CARZ 108FM – Streaming live online
Listen to Thomas on The Thomas and Valerie Show on or on
Seminar Schedule
Nov. 12 – Bay City, MI
Word Matters: How Words Change Lives presented by Thomas Haller.  Ecclesia writing club at Central High School.
Nov. 14 - Woodhaven, MI
The Elements of Praise presented by Thomas Haller. Bates Elementary.
Dec. 2 - Portland, ME
Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or
Dec. 3 - Manchester, NH
Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or
Dec. 4 - Hartford, CT
Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or
Dec. 5 - Providence, RI
Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or
Dec. 6 - Boston, MA
Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or
2014 Summer Trainings
Parent Talk System
Facilitator Training
July 10 - 12, 2014
Bay Valley Resort & Conference Center 2470 Old Bridge Road Bay City, Michigan 48706
Teacher Talk Advantage
Facilitator Training
July 14 - 16, 2014
Bay Valley Resort & Conference Center 2470 Old Bridge Road Bay City, Michigan 48706
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