Parent Newsletter #124
May 2, 2014
Welcome! This is a free parent newsletter offered to you by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller.
Mission Statement
Our mission is to strengthen families and improve parent communication skills (including our own) by helping parents learn practical, usable verbal strategies for raising responsible, caring, confident children.
In This Issue
1. Quote
2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation
3. Bumper Sticker
4. Article: Reentry: Transitioning from Work to Home
5. Now Available
6. Blog Alert
7. Sign Language
1. Quote
"Children are made readers on the laps of their parents."
 
Emilie Buchwald
 
2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation
What if respect for the choices your children make is one of the best choices YOU can make today? Can you let go of attempting to get your children to make the choices you think they should make?
3. Bumper Sticker
Noticed on a blue Kia Soul in St. Clair, MI:
 
WORLD'S OKAYEST PARENTS
4. Article: Reentry: Transitioning from Work to Home 
By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
 
You are on your way home. You may be part of a carpool, riding a bus, or taking the subway. Your commute could be fifteen minutes, an hour, or longer. Are you getting yourself ready to make an effective transition? Are you using that time to get closure on your exit from the world of work and make a smooth entry to home and family?
 
Some specific strategies for making your home arrival calm and productive follow.
  1. Manage your mind first. Create positive expectations. Imagine the scene being warm and welcoming. Do not imagine a messy house, fighting kids, or the hurried hassle of getting to dance class. If a crisis does greet you, know you can handle it with skill and understanding.
  2. On the commute, refrain from participating in gossip, criticizing, complaining, and the like. Refuse to read negative stories or listen to negativity in the news. Free your mind of these weeds and prepare for your home arrival by planting healthy thoughts.
  3. Get rid of any "have to's" in your self-talk. You don't have to get dinner ready. You get to. You don't have to drive kids to soccer practice. You get to. You don't have to help with homework. You get to. You don't have to supervise baths. You get to.
  4. What are the first words that will come out of your mouth when you greet your children? Plan them now. The most often-spoken greeting by parents is, "Do you have any homework?" Push the delete button on that sentence. How about, "I was thinking about you today. Do you want to hear about it?" Or perhaps, "I'm glad to be home and to see you. Give me a hug." Don't leave your first words to chance. Plan them.
  5. Make a BE choice. How do you want to BE for the first hour? Why not choose to BE interested, empathetic, understanding, positive, excited, or attentive? Let what you DO flow out of how you choose to BE.
  6. Remind yourself that if a problem greets you at the door you can reframe it as an opportunity. It is an opportunity to help your children learn problem solving, experience cause and effect, participate in cleanup, or make amends. These are valuable opportunities. Choose not to see them as problems.
  7. Change your mind-set from this is MY time to this is OUR time. Get ready to reconnect. You have been gone from 8-10 hours. As much as you might like to go to the gym right now, this is family time. It is time to build togetherness and connectedness.
  8. If you want some alone time, let others know about it. Announce, "I had a tough day. I want about fifteen minutes to sit and do nothing. Give me fifteen and I'll be back in action. Thank you."
  9. On top of your head, securely place your listening cap. You will be using it when you get home whether you want to or not. This is an important role you play. Don't duck it. Listen without interrupting. Listen without giving advice. Listen minus judgment. Then listen again.
  10. Be careful about rushing in and fixing things. If you fix regularly, fixing will become your job. You will be seen as the fixer person. You will be greeted at the door and presented with problems to fix. Allow children to solve some of their own problems. Ask: "What have you done so far?" "How do you think this can be solved?" "What are some possibilities here?" Be the facilitator rather than the fixer.
  11. Prepare a story about your day that reveals you as a learner, a helper, a concerned citizen, a person of integrity, or an adventurer. Share it at an appropriate time.
  12. Create a goal. Plan on reconnecting with Beth, who had a bad dream last night. Plan to play catch with Tomiko. Plan to go through an entire dinner meal without mentioning anyone’s eating habits.
  13. Keep on schedule. Things go smoother at home if there is a regular schedule in place. Eating, study time, baths, and bedtime all go smoother if they are expected at a regular time in a prescribed order. Stick to the schedule.
  14. Activate the ritual. Perhaps your ritual is: you come in the door, flop on the easy chair, and two kids jump on your lap. Do the ritual. Maybe it's popcorn a half hour before bed, a bedtime story, group prayers, or "Good night, John Boy." If you don’t have a ritual, create one.
  15. Make a mental list of what you are grateful for. Keep that in mind as you walk through the front door.
Blessings to you and yours.
 
Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of Parent Talk Essentials: How to Talk to Kids about Divorce, Sex, Money, School, and Being Responsible in Today’s World. They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free Uncommon Parenting blog. To obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their website today: www.uncommon-parenting.com.
Parent Talk Essentials By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
Parent Talk Essentials is a valuable collection of successful strategies for helping parents raise responsible, caring, conscious children.
 
In this book you will find effective Parent Talk that will help your children, tots to teens, navigate life's challenges concerning divorce, sex, money, school, relationships, being responsible, and other important issues.
 
Paperback, 350-page book ($14.95) [Add to cart]
5. Now Available
The Parent Talk Tip Collection: 730 Practical Verbal Skills to Help You Raise Responsible, Caring, Conscious Children By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
 
 
This e-book is available today. You can upload it now and begin putting it to use with your family immediately.
 
SNEAK PREVIEW
 
Parent Talk Tip #44
 
"It's time to decide how to donate what is in the charity jar. We will have a charity meeting after dinner. Please come with suggestions."
 
Parent Talk Tip #45
 
"Thank you for raking the leaves. You saved me an hour in my day" shares the positive effect your child's behavior had on you.
 
Parent Talk Tip #46
 
"We are heading into Grandma's now. You can choose to keep your cell phone in your pocket or in mine. I will know what you chose by whether I see it or not."

730 Tips to use with your family. Only $7.95 and NO postage or shipping.
 
6. Blog Alert
Did you know we have a blog site? Are you aware that we post blogs there regularly? Below is the latest blog post at www.uncommon-parenting.com.
 
Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Waves?
  
By Chick Moorman
 
Waves come in and waves go out. Every day, all day. My job? Sit and watch them and get in the flow of the universe. And watch for blog material.
 
Yesterday the wind was strong and the waves were especially big and powerful. A new family showed up at the beach with towels, suntan lotion, toys, a cooler and beach chairs. I watched as the mother grabbed her young (4- or 5-year-old) son’s hand and headed toward the water. The youngster took one look at the waves, heard their roar, saw the foam and the swirling water stretching far up the shore, and headed in the opposite direction. He wanted no part of the ocean. He was content to play in the sand. The mother, however, had a different agenda for him.
 
"Come on, don't be a sissy," she scolded as she pulled him toward the water. She was up to her ankles in water when the cold saltwater hit her son's feet. He twisted and grimaced as he tried in vain to avoid getting wet. She kept yanking and pulling on him while verbally coaxing him to get wet and enjoy the waves.
 
"Come on. It's fun. The waves won't hurt you."
 
"Once you get in, it feels good."
 
"Just take another step. It's not deep."
 
He continued to resist. She continued to insist. The parent-induced power struggle went on for ten minutes until the terrified child broke free and deposited himself halfway up the beach a safe distance from the threatening water.
 
Enter Grandpa.
 
Grandpa had been silently observing the "You're-getting-in-the-water, No-I'm-not" tug of war from its inception. Without saying a word, he walked to the water's edge and waited for the current wave to recede. Then he crept closer to the water. When the new wave rolled in, Grandpa ran away, saying, "You can't get me, you big old bad wave." He repeated that same process three times, each time sprinting out of the water before the wave got to him.
 
Then he began to taunt the waves. As Grandpa got close to the water the next time, he challenged the incoming wave with, "Nah na na na na nah, you can't get me." And he ran away just in time to avoid the arriving wave. Three more repetitions of "Nah na na na na nah, you can't get me" piqued his grandson's interest. Soon Grandpa had a partner in wave taunting, and the two of them challenged the waves and ran away just in the nick of time.
 
After several versions of escaping the wave without getting wet, this grandfather moved too slowly (on purpose) to avoid a big wave. He screamed as the wave soaked him from the ankles down. He feigned horror as he scrambled to safety in the sand. Then he did it again. And again. Soon his grandson was allowing the water to touch him as he shrieked with excitement while racing to safety.
 
Grandpa's next move was to fall as the wave hit him and crawl to the shore, saying, "Oh, you got me that time, wave, but you won't get me again." After two more successful escapes from the wave, Grandpa moved too slowly once again. This time he lay in the water totally soaked.
 
You know what happened next. The child "accidentally" tripped in the next wave and lay sprawled beside his grandfather. Laughter filled the air and high fives were exchanged. 

The water play eventually moved to deeper water, where more pleasure was experienced. I don't know for sure what happened during the remainder of their vacation. My prediction, however, is that no one in that family was ever again intimidated by the big old bad waves.

Other recent blogs include: 
  • The Stranger in Your Child's Life
  • This Is Going to Hurt Me More Than It Hurts You
  • Ten Terrific Reasons NOT to Put a TV in Your Child's Bedroom and 10 Terrible Reasons for Doing So
  • The Over-functioning Parent
  • Your Child's First Overnight Stay with a Friend
  • The Answers to Creepy Things Kids Say
  • I love You Too Much to Argue with You
Check out these and many other articles at www.uncommon-parenting.com. And while you're there, sign up to follow the blog.
7. Sign Language
Chick Moorman
 
Contact Chick at:
 
1-877-360-1477 (toll-free)
 
 
Thomas Haller
 
Contact Thomas at:
 
989-686-5356
 
 
Copyright
Copyright 2014 Chick Moorman Seminars and Thomas Haller Seminars, all rights reserved. Share this with your circle.
 
Parent Talk System: Training of Trainers - 2014
 
Mark your calendar now. Plan your summer vacation around this exciting trainer opportunity.
 
Isn't it time you offered these important verbal skills to parents in your community, church, or school? We will teach you how to do just that.
 
July 10 - 12, 2014
Bay Valley Resort & Conference Center 2470 Old Bridge Road Bay City, Michigan 48706
Facebook/Twitter
Facebook
 
Both Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman have joined Facebook. We would both welcome an opportunity to be added to your friends list. Please send us a friend request that tells us you are a Parent Newsletter subscriber so we can recognize how we know you.
 
Twitter
Yes, we both Twitter.
 
Thomas B. Haller is now twitting. Instead of following what I am doing throughout the day, I invite you to follow what I am thinking. To join me as I tweet my thoughts, go to www.twitter.com/tomhaller.
 
Chick Moorman is now on Twitter. To sign up for Parent Talk Tips, timely questions, short but raging rants, bursts of inspiration, and random thoughts on parenting and teaching, follow the link. Why not be the first on your block to initiate regular contact? http://twitter.com/ChickMoorman 
Product of the Month
Do you have a child who whines regularly? What about back talk, lying, procrastination, teasing, ignoring, biting, ignoring responsibilities, etc.?
 
This is the book that will help you end those unwanted behaviors.
 
 
The Only Three Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need: Essential Tools for Busy Parents
 
By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
 
Soft cover, 120-page book ($14.95) [Add to cart]
 
This practical, skill-based book delivers three amazingly simple verbal discipline strategies that will work with your children, from tots to teens!
Seminar Schedule
May 12 - Burlington, VT
Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.
 
May 13 - Long Island, NY
Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.
 
May 14 - White Plains, NY
Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.
 
May 15 - Baltimore, MD
Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.
 
May 16 - Cherry Hill, NJ
Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.
 
May 20 - Albany, NY
Teaching and Learning the Skills Needed for Academic Success: Self-Discipline, Perseverance, Confidence, Hope, and Resilience Grades K-12 presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.
 
May 21 - Manchester, NH
Teaching and Learning the Skills Needed for Academic Success: Self-Discipline, Perseverance, Confidence, Hope, and Resilience Grades K-12 presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.
 
May 22 - Chicago, IL (Chicago South)
Teaching and Learning the Skills Needed for Academic Success: Self-Discipline, Perseverance, Confidence, Hope, and Resilience Grades K-12 presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.
 
May 23 - Chicago, IL (Chicago North)
Teaching and Learning the Skills Needed for Academic Success: Self-Discipline, Perseverance, Confidence, Hope, and Resilience Grades K-12 presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.
Media Schedule
 
Thomas on television answering viewer questions:
 
Relationship Matters – Every Monday at 9:15 am on WNEM TV5 Better Mid-Michigan
 
Family Matters with Thomas Haller Fridays at noon, Saturdays at 8:45 am, Sundays at   7:45 am and 8:45 am on WNEM TV5. Also streaming live at: www.wnem.com.
 
To view Dr. Tom's previous Family Matters segments, CLICK HERE.
 
Thomas on the radio answering questions and discussing hot topics:
 
Every Thursday morning at 7:30 am on CARZ 108FM – Streaming live online www.wcrz.com.
 
Listen to Thomas on The Thomas and Valerie Show on www.prx.org or on www.thethomasandvalerieshow.com.
Links
Personal Power Press • P.O. Box 547 • Merrill • MI • 48637
http://www.personalpowerpress.com
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