Welcome! This is a free parent newsletter offered to you by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller.
Our mission is to strengthen families and improve parent communication skills (including our own) by helping parents learn practical, usable verbal strategies for raising responsible, caring, confident children.
2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation
3. Bumper Sticker
4. Article: The To Do List
5. What Children Do and What They Need
"You have been taught that power is loud, forceful, aggressive and somewhat intimidating. It is not. In silence the Creator works.”
2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation
Be the silent witness today. Mentally detach from time to time and let your consciousness float to the top of the ceiling. Silently watch everything that goes on in your home. Notice what happens to you. Be apart from it as you observe yourself being a part of it.
Spotted on a Ford Taurus at a truck stop on I-94 in Benton Harbor, MI:
By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
Chances are you have a to do list you would like to make a big dent in today. You may have a to do list at work. Perhaps you have one this weekend for your home. You may have another to do list detailing what you want to do with your family.
Your family to do list for today could be as simple as:
- Go to the library to pick out books.
- Take a family picture to send Grandma on Facebook.
- Decide with your children where to place the new birdhouse.
- Read to your son before bedtime.
Or your list could be as complicated as:
- Talk to Connie about her low grade in summer school.
- Meet with Jason to help him craft the kind of birthday party that meets his needs and your family budget.
- Make a family decision on how to spend the money in the charity jar.
- Teach Connie how to soften the leather on the baseball mitt she left out in the rain.
Many parents make "do" choices concerning what to do with their family or children. That is how most parents make sure important things get accomplished. Put an activity on your list. Do it. Cross it off. Mission accomplished.
But not so fast. Perhaps what you DO as a parent in response to what happens in your family is not the most important decision to make.
"What do you mean?" you might be wondering. "What I DO is critical to the well-being and healthy functioning of my family. If I don't DO anything, nothing happens. Nothing is more important than what I decide to DO about family situations."
We beg to differ. Consider the possibility that how you decide to BE in response to what happens just might be more important than what you choose to DO. Parents rarely make BE choices. We quickly make a DO choice in response to the glove being left out in the rain. We focus on what we perceive needs to be done. We invest little time, if any, deciding how to BE in that situation.
Our contention is that a BE choice makes all the difference in how effective you are when you do what you decide to do. When teaching your daughter how to soften her glove, you could decide to BE patient, instructive, gentle, thorough, or positive. It might be that you decide to BE confrontational if you feel that is what is necessary. The point here is how you choose to BE is going to influence the entire experience and the outcome of what you choose to DO.
If you doubt that, conduct the following experiment. Read your children a bedtime story tonight. Make that your DO choice. Tomorrow night, implement the same DO choice. Read them the same or a similar story. The first night, choose to BE serious. The second night, choose to BE silly. Watch what happens. Your DO choice did not change. Because you changed how you decided to BE, what you did took on an entirely different flavor and created a totally different experience of being read to.
If your DO choice is to decide with your children where to place the new birdhouse, decide ahead of time how you want to BE during that activity. You could decide to BE excited. Or you might choose to BE invitational: inviting input, ideas, and responsibilities. Either way, you transform the entire experience.
What are you going to DO about Connie's low grade in summer school? Our suggestion is to first decide how you want to BE when you talk to her. Often what you choose to DO will flow out of how you choose to BE. If you choose to BE empathetic, what you choose to DO will likely be different than if you choose to BE angry.
What are you going to DO with this article? You could share it with others. You could ignore it. You could choose to reread it. You could implement it tonight. Before you decide what to DO with it, make a BE choice. How are you going to BE when you DO whatever it is you decide to DO?
Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose. They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free Uncommon Parenting blog. To obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their website today: www.uncommon-parenting.com.
The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose eBook
This book is a celebration of parenting. Its intent is to encourage you to commit or recommit to your family and to the important role you play in the lives of your children.
The 10 Commitments contains straight talk about what it means to be a committed parent in today's world. It will challenge you and make you a more effective parent.
Isn't parenting your child too important to leave to chance? Give your children a jump start to an enriched life by implementing The 10 Commitments in your family.
Have you made a commitment to yourself and to your children to be the best parent you can be? If so, this book will help you keep that commitment. If not, it will challenge you to make it.
5. What Children Do and What They Need
What Children Do: They push and push, testing the limits.
What Children Need: Clear, firm limits that will keep them safe and healthy. They want to know you are in charge and the limits are really the limits.
What Children Do: Tell lies.
What Children Need: An atmosphere that is void of fear.
What Children Do: Become ornery and uncooperative. Whine.
What Children Need: Sleep, a physical treatment (for toothache, rash, etc.), hugs and holding.
What Children Do: Act and speak disrespectfully.
What Children Need: Respect modeled and a stronger connection to the parents.
What Children Do: Engage in sibling rivalry.
What Children Need: Attention, listening, being valued and noticed.
What Children Do: Resist, rebel, or resent.
What Children Need: Increased personal power. Achievement and accomplishment.
What Children Do: Appear not to listen and fail to follow through.
What Children Need: Someone who is serious the first time and does not resort to yelling to be taken seriously.
Copyright 2014 Chick Moorman Seminars and Thomas Haller Seminars, all rights reserved. Share this with your circle.
Parent Workshops for Your School or Church
- The Only 3 Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need
- Grace-Full Parenting
- Parenting with Purpose: The 10 Commitments
- Eliminating Negative Behaviors
Call Thomas or Chick today to get a fall date added to your schedule.
The Parent Talk Tip Collection: 730 Practical Verbal Skills to Help You Raise Responsible, Caring, Conscious Children by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
This e-book is available today. You can upload it now and begin putting it to use with your family immediately.
Parent Talk Tip #73
"Looks like you're trying to prove something. Are you trying to prove it to me, to yourself, or to someone else?"
Parent Talk Tip #74
Allowing your son to play with dolls gives him opportunities to practice being a father.
Parent Talk Tip #75
Time invested in perfecting your relationship with your child is time used more wisely than working to perfect your child.
730 Tips to use with your family. Only $7.95 and NO postage or shipping.
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July 25 - Grand Rapids, MI.
The Teacher Talk Advantage presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Advantage Discipline, East Kentwood High School Auditorium. For more information, contact Sarah Knapp at 616-540-3974 or email email@example.com.
Aug. 5 - Roanoke, VA.
Teacher Talk Advantage Part 1 presented by Chick Moorman, 1:00 pm - 4:00 pm. Virginia Association for Teachers of Family and Consumer Science 2014 Professional Development Instutute. Hotel Roanoke and Conference Center. For information contact Helen Fuqua 804-225-2826 or email Helen.Fuqua@doe.virginia.gov.
Aug. 6 - Roanoke, VA.
Teacher Talk Advantage Part 2 presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am - 11:00 am. Virginia Association for Teachers of Family and Consumer Science 2014 Professional Development Instutute. Hotel Roanoke and Conference Center. For information contact Helen Fuqua 804-225-2826 or email Helen.Fuqua@doe.virginia.gov.
Aug. 6 - Roanoke, VA.
Keynote: Celebrate the Spirit Whisperers presented by Chick Moorman, 12:00 pm - 2:00 pm. Virginia Association for Teachers of Family and Consumer Science 2014 Professional Development Instutute. Hotel Roanoke and Conference Center. For information contact Helen Fuqua 804-225-2826 or email Helen.Fuqua@doe.virginia.gov.
Aug. 11 - Fort Recovery, OH.
Parent Talk: Words That Empower, Words That Wound presented by Chick Moorman, 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm. Fort Recovery Middle/Elementary School Auditoria. For information contact Jeff Tunebe at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Aug. 12 - Fort Recovery, OH.
Teacher Talk Advantage presented by Chick Moorman, 8:30 am - 3:00 pm - 9:00 pm. Fort Recovery Middle/Elementary School Auditoria. For information contact Jeff Tunebe at email@example.com.
Aug. 19 - Paterson, NJ.
Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.
Aug. 22 - Rochester Hills, MI.
The Teacher Talk Advantage presented by Chick Moorman. 8:30 am – 4:00 pm. Brookfield Academy. For information contact Lisa Luther at llutherbrookfieldacademy.net.
Aug. 26 - Saginaw, MI.
Keynote: Celebrate the Spirit Whisperers and Concurrent Sessions presented by Chick Moorman. 8:00 am – 3:20 pm. Saginaw Diocese. For information contact Ashley Kanuszewski at 989-879-3063 or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Aug. 27 - Southfield, MI.
Keynote: Celebrate the Spirit Whisperers plus The Sounds of Spirit Whispering presented by Chick Moorman. 9:00 am – 2:00 pm. MIChoice. For information contact Angela Ricord 616-558-2381.
Aug. 28 - Dearborn Heights, MI.
The Teacher Talk Advantage presented by Chick Moorman, 8:30 am – 3:30 pm. WISE Academy. For information contact Samar Abbasi at 313-694-9433 or email email@example.com.
Thomas on television answering viewer questions:
Relationship Matters – Every Monday at 9:15 am on WNEM TV5 Better Mid-Michigan
Family Matters with Thomas Haller
Fridays at noon, Saturdays at 8:45 am, Sundays at 7:45 am and 8:45 am on WNEM TV5. Also streaming live at: www.wnem.com
To view Dr. Tom's previous Family Matters
segments, CLICK HERE
Thomas on the radio answering questions and discussing hot topics:
Every Thursday morning at 7:30 am on CARZ 108FM – Streaming live online www.wcrz.com