Parent Newsletter #127
September 21, 2014
Welcome! This is a free parent newsletter offered to you by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller.
Mission Statement
Our mission is to strengthen families and improve parent communication skills (including our own) by helping parents learn practical, usable verbal strategies for raising responsible, caring, confident children.
In This Issue
1. Quote
2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation
3. Bumper Sticker
4. Article: The Power Illusions: How You Are Verbally Crippling Your Children
5. Parent Talk Tips
6. Family Matters
7. Offer for Arizona Parents
1. Quote
There are times as a parent when you realize that your job is not to be the parent you always imagined you'd be, the parent you always wished you had. Your job is to be the parent your child needs, given the particulars of his or her own life and nature.
 
Ayelet Waldman
2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation
What is there about your children that you can be grateful for today? Can you be grateful that they make mistakes, allow you to practice patience, search for new solutions to their challenges, and test your determination? Can you be grateful that they are helping you stretch and grow as an enlightened parent?
3. Bumper Sticker
Noticed on a silver and black Hummer in La Grange, IL:
 
Childhood Is a Journey
Not a Race
4.  The Power Illusions: How You Are Verbally Crippling Your Children
By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
 
"Stop annoying me."
"Don't make me come up there."
"That made her feel bad."
"Be careful or you'll upset your father."
"Your whining is driving me crazy."
"Don't let me down now."
"You really know how to ruin my good mood."
 
Do you talk like this? If so, you are teaching your children two life-altering power illusions. These illusions are unconsciously helping them learn and believe negative myths about personal power that could stick with them their entire lives. These falsehoods will not assist them in living happy, productive, fulfilling lives. Not today, not tomorrow, not anytime in the future.
 
Power Illusion #1
 
The style of Parent Talk above assigns an unhealthy and inaccurate amount of power to children. Whether your child is two, eight, or fifteen, do you really want to give them the power to ruin your mood? Do you want them to believe they can drive you crazy? If they are the ones who upset their father, do they not have more power than the parent?
 
This unhealthy way of speaking diminishes your own personal power and allows your child to be in control of your responses to their behavior. It is not healthy for you or your child when you use language patterns that designate them as the person in charge of your mood, level of irritation, annoyance, frustration, happiness, anger, or any other reaction. If you allow your child to be in control of your happiness, joy, responsibility, emotional, and mental health as well as your level of personal power, it is not the child that needs fixing.
 
Power Illusion #2
 
A second harmful effect of using language that gives your power away to your children is that it encourages them to give their power away in a similar fashion. They begin to believe that someone else can hurt their feelings, make them mad, create jealousy in them, or annoy them.
 
In reality, no one can hurt your child's feelings without their permission. True, others can manifest some cruel behaviors. Yet, your child's response of feeling hurt is their response. It is a response that doesn’t have to follow. No one can anger or irritate your child. Others do not have the power to do that unless your child gives their power away the same way they have been taught by you to do so.
 
 
No one can frustrate your child. Their frustration, annoyance or irritation comes from the way they interpret the situation before them. The thoughts they choose to think or the beliefs they activate are the real cause of their frustration.
 
What reality do you want for your children? Do you want them to believe others have the power to frustrate, anger, annoy, or irritate them or ruin their day? If so, then keep saying things like "That traffic jam really frustrates me" or "You're going to make me mad." Eventually they will internalize a core belief that other people or situations can make them feel certain ways. There is no personal power in that belief.
 
If you want to help your children learn self-responsible language patterns, it is necessary to begin with yourself.
 
1.  Become increasingly aware of your own unself-responsible language. Notice when you make statements like the examples above or those below.
 
"You're going to embarrass me."
"You make me want to hug you."
"Sunny days pick me up."
"You are really ticking me off right now."
"You have me all tied up in knots." 
 
2.  Change your unself-responsible language to self-responsible language by using "I" statements. 
Say "I feel annoyed" rather than “You are annoying me.”
 
"I feel like I'm going crazy" owns your feeling. "You're driving me crazy" does not.
 
3.  Begin your sentence with "I'm choosing . . ."
 
"I am choosing annoyance" models personal power. "You are annoying me" gives your power away.
 
"I am choosing confusion right now" communicates that you are in charge of your feelings. "You're confusing me" tells others they are in charge of your confusion level.
 
4.  Practice. Practice. Practice. Using self-responsible language might sound awkward at first. Many of us are not used to hearing people talk in ways that maintain personal power. Keep on talking. Eventually, it will begin to sound normal.
 
When your children say things like "Mom, how come you're talking funny?" or "You sound different, Dad. Why are you talking that way?" know you are on the right track. Persevere.
 
When you hear one of your children say, "Mom, I'm ok. I'm just doing irritation right now," pat yourself on the back. Celebrate if your child asks you why you are choosing to be in a bad mood. Jump up and down with joy if your child corrects your language by saying, "Dad, don't you really mean you are creating nervousness for yourself right now? You told us nothing has the power to make us nervous."
 
Bust the power illusions being created in your family by changing your language patterns with the techniques listed above. As you do, you will see those illusions having less influence over the lives of your children. Enjoy the benefits that result from your entire family living with the reality that each of you is responsible for your own feelings. No one can "make us."
 
Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of The Only 3 Discipline Strategies you Will Ever Need They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free Uncommon Parenting blog. To obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their website today: www.uncommon-parenting.com.
Ending Homework Hassles

Featuring Thomas and Valerie Haller
 
Audio Seminar - $9.99  
 
 
5.  Parent Talk Tips
  1. Your child activates the behavior. You choose how to interpret that behavior. You alone are responsible for the meaning you attach to it. Refuse to believe the myth that your child chooses both the behavior and the interpretation you give it.
  2. When is the last time you stomped in puddles with your child? By yourself? Pray for rain.
  3. Remove the word "struggle" from your parenting vocabulary. If you don't, you might be teaching your children that work, housework, parenting, snow shoveling, driving across town, grocery shopping, and living life is a struggle. 
The Parent Talk Tip Collection: 730 Practical Verbal Skills to Help You Raise Responsible, Caring, Conscious Children by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller

This e-book is available today. You can upload it now and begin putting it to use with your family immediately.
 
6.  Family Matters
  • Look for simple and easy ways to connect with your children. Parents frequently expect their children to relate to them in an adult way. Get down on their level and play what they are playing, read what they like to read, listen to what they like to listen to. Your children will feel your presence. 
  • Don’t rush to rescue your teenagers from problems they encounter. Allow them time to figure it out on their own. "Sounds like you have a problem" gives the problem back to the teen. 
  • Praise effort, not intelligence. And use descriptive language to do it. "Wow. You hung in there until you got it done." 
Would you like regular Family Matters gems delivered on a regular basis? Then friend Thomas B Haller on Facebook. That's where you will find them.
 
7.  Offer for Arizona Parents
February isn't that far away if you are planning parenting workshops for your school, church, or community organization. And here is the good news.
 
Chick Moorman will be in Arizona from February 12 to 23. Mostly he will be attending the Arabian Horse Show in Scottsdale during that time. He has offered to do two evening parenting programs while he is in Arizona.
 
This is a limited opportunity to get Chick and his expertise in front of your parents for a greatly reduced fee. Plus, there are no travel expenses since he will already be in the area. If your group is within two hours driving distance from Scottsdale and you are quick to jump on this special offer, you could be one of only two organizations receiving this special deal.
 
Act now and contact Chick at:
 
Phone - 989-643-5059
E-mail - ipp57@aol.com
Chick Moorman
 
Contact Chick at:
 
1-877-360-1477 (toll-free)
 
 
Thomas Haller
 
Contact Thomas at:
 
989-686-5356
 
 
Copyright
Copyright 2014 Chick Moorman Seminars and Thomas Haller Seminars, all rights reserved. Share this with your circle.
 
The Abracadabra Effect: The 13 Verbally Transmitted Diseases and How to Cure Them
Chick Moorman recently entered a restaurant and found incorrect grammar on the list of that day's special menu. "Try ARE whitefish" was the phrase in question. Chick, wanting to be helpful, informed the waitress of the error. Her response? "I didn't do it. It wasn't my fault." Chick went on to explain that he was not blaming her, just letting her know because someone in the organization might want to change it. The waitress replied, "That's not my job."
 
End of conversation.
 
The dialogue above is characteristic of the sickness that pervades our world today. Avoidance of responsibility, feelings of disempowerment, a lack of integrity, and pervasive unconsciousness appear to be the major default system most people live by today.
 
Look, we are just going to say it right out. No beating around the bush. No soft- pedaling it. We are living in a sick society and it is getting sicker. Maybe you have noticed.
 
Blame, judgment, gossip, and criticism are running rampant.
 
Disowning responsibility for the choices we make has become a lifestyle for many.
 
Road rage, child abuse, and the number of men who hit their girlfriends or wives is increasing.
 
Levels of obesity, a sense of entitlement, and complaints are skyrocketing.
 
Integrity? What's that?
 
There is no need to go on. You already get the point.
 
Authors Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller know it is beyond time to heal the planet and the people who inhabit it. That is precisely why they have produced The Abracadabra Effect: The 13 Verbally Transmitted Diseases and How to Cure Them.
 
Use of THE ABRACADABRA EFFECT
 
Chick and Thomas contend that our unconscious use of THE ABRACADABRA EFFECT has created most of the dis-ease that permeates our world today. We're talking about frustration, irritation, annoyance, stress, depression, anxiety, indecision, dependency, procrastination, disowning responsibility, shame, regret, blame, envy, jealousy, nervousness, worry, guilt, fear, self-rejection, ridicule, tension, and more. They also contend that by becoming conscious of THE ABRACADABRA EFFECT we can awaken, choose health, and heal the world of the symptoms of dis-ease listed above.
 
Yes, you will be able to put THE ABRACADABRA EFFECT to use in your life to heal your heart, to heal your family, to heal your relationships, and to heal your organization. By so doing, you will be helping heal the world.
 
So what is this ABRACADABRA EFFECT anyway?
 
Is it magic? Yes, THE ABRACADABRA EFFECT is magic. Except when it isn't.
 
Is THE ABRACADABRA EFFECT a series of miracles? Yes, it is a series of miracles. Not counting those times when it is not.
 
Is THE ABRACADABRA EFFECT a combination of magic and miracles? Yes, always in all ways. Unless it isn’t.
 
Are you confused about THE ABRACADABRA EFFECT? Are you REALLY serious about learning more about it before you take advantage of this generous prepublication offer? Are you serious enough to read a full, as well as short, explanation in the preamble? If so, read it here. 
 
 

Do you see yourself below?
 
Do your kids frustrate you?
Are you annoyed with a coworker's behavior?
Is there something that is bugging you right now?
If so, you are creating dis-ease in yourself. And there is a cure.
 
Do you think your neighbor should have known better?
Does your girlfriend make you jealous when she talks to other men?
Do you think you are too old to create financial security?
If so, you are creating dis-ease in yourself. And there is a cure.
 
Do you think you can’t quit smoking or lose weight?
Do you tell your kids to be careful climbing the tree or they might fall?
Did somebody piss you off recently?
If so, you are creating dis-ease in yourself. And there is a cure.
 
And those cures are contained in the new book from Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller: The Abracadabra Effect: The 13 Verbally Transmitted Diseases and How to Cure Them.
 
You probably don't think you are infected. Most people don't. And most people are. They are walking around in denial unknowingly spreading dis-ease verbally everywhere they go to everyone with whom they come in contact.
 
Right this moment there is a strong possibility you could be a host for the "Makes Me" Psychosis, Unableism, Preventarrhea, Shoulditus, Judgmentalillness, The Rightabolic Syndrome, Blameopoly, Fungatious Feedback, Presentphobia, Degenerative Confidence or other infectious dis-eases.
 
If you are like most people, you were infected shortly after birth and have stayed in a contagious state since then.
 
You are not only a carrier, you are also a spreader. You are inadvertently helping others adopt and persist in maintaining a dis-eased lifestyle.
 
If you don't know you are sick, there is nothing you can do about it.
 
If you don't know you are contagious, you will continue to infect all the important people in your life. That includes your spouse, children, parents, friends, coworkers and neighbors.
 
If you don't know you are sick, there is NO WAY you can get well.
 
The Abracadabra Effect: The 13 Verbally Transmitted Diseases and How to Cure Them not only identifies the major dis-eases affecting people today. It also offers prescriptions for wellness, ways to ditch the 13 dreaded dis-eases, and suggestions for creating a lifetime of health and happiness.
 
This valuable book is designed to be a wake-up call. Are you ready to hear it and respond?
 
Will you fully step up and own your personal responsibility?
 
Are you ready to activate the power within?
 
Will you become a world changer rather than a disseminator of dis-ease?
 
Is this your time to become fully conscious?
 
Is it your right time to choose health?
 
What about fully experiencing life?
 
How about now?
 
It is time to take action.
 
The Abracadabra Effect is currently being printed. Upon completion it will sell for $19.95 plus postage. We estimate the release date to be around November 1, 2014.
 
Order your personal copy before November 1, 2014, and get this world-changing book for only $10.00 plus postage.
 
Order 2-24 copies for friends, relatives, and complete strangers for the special price of $8.00 per book plus postage.
 
Order 25 or more copies to help change the world in destinations we aren't even aware of for the incredibly low price of $7.00 per book plus postage.
 
 
Seminar Schedule
Sept. 25 - Big Rapids, MI. 
The Six Best Parenting Strategies Ever presented by Thomas Haller, 6:00 pm – 8:00pm, Crossroads Charter Academy.
 
Oct. 1 - Rochester Hills, MI.
The Only Three Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need presented by Chick Moorman, 6:30 pm - 9:00 pm. Brookfield Academy. For information contact Lisa Luther at llutherbrookfieldacademy.net.
 
Oct. 2 - Fort Wayne, IN.
Parent Talk: Words That Empower, Words That Wound presented by Chick Moorman, 6:00 pm - 8:00 pm. Oak Farm Montessori. For more information contact Megan O'Sullivan at 260-897-4270 or emailmosullivan@oakfarmschool.com.
 
Oct. 9 - Egg Harbor City, NJ.
Parent Talk: Words That Empower, Words That Wound presented by Chick Moorman, 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm. Egg Harbor City Public Schools. For more information contact Darlene Hagel at 609-965-1034 Ext. 136 or email DHagel@ehcs.k12.nj.us.
 
Oct. 10 - Egg Harbor City, NJ.
Keynote: Keynote: Celebrate the Spirit Whisperers and The Sounds of Spirit Whispering presented by Chick Moorman, 8:30 am - 1:30 pm. Egg Harbor City Public Schools. For more information contact Darlene Hagel at 609-965-1034 Ext. 136 or email DHagel@ehcs.k12.nj.us.
 
Oct. 23 - Tully, NY.
Parent Talk: Words That Empower, Words That Wound presented by Chick Moorman, 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm. Tully Central School, Elementary School Auditorium. For more information contact Cristy Bobbett at 315-696-6221 or email cbobbett@k12.tullyschools.org.
 
Oct. 24 - Tully, NY.
The Sounds of Spirit Whispering presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am - 3:00 pm. Tully Central School, Elementary School Auditorium. For more information contact Cristy Bobbett at 315-696-6221 or email cbobbett@k12.tullyschools.org.
Media Schedule
 
Thomas on television answering viewer questions:
 
Relationship Matters – Every Monday at 9:15 am on WNEM TV5 Better Mid-Michigan
 
Family Matters with Thomas Haller Fridays at noon, Saturdays at 8:45 am, Sundays at   7:45 am and 8:45 am on WNEM TV5. Also streaming live at: www.wnem.com.
 
To view Dr. Tom's previous Family Matters segments, CLICK HERE.
 
Thomas on the radio answering questions and discussing hot topics:
 
Every Thursday morning at 7:30 am on CARZ 108FM – Streaming live online www.wcrz.com.
 
Listen to Thomas on The Thomas and Valerie Show on www.prx.org or on www.thethomasandvalerieshow.com.
Links
Personal Power Press • P.O. Box 547 • Merrill • MI • 48637
http://www.personalpowerpress.com
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