- Use Love and Logic strategies to navigate the difficult road of relating to teens -
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Do You Speak Alien?
Do you ever feel like strange space creatures landed and moved into your kids’ rooms? Many parents and professionals find it hard to relate to kids when they hit the tumultuous teen years. Even more parents find it hard to get these strange teen creatures to actually converse.
Many Love and Logic Parents have found a great tool: The use of questions - especially questions that show an interest in the teen. When we ask about their likes and interests, it can really open them up to sharing their lives.
Sadly, some adults do just the opposite. They run from everything their kids enjoy – because it sounds alien. From fashion to music to technology, a lot of what teens are into can seem foreign. But a few minutes asking our child about a favorite band or activity may go a long way in keeping the lines of communication open. Some kids conclude: “If I can’t talk to you about the music I like, how can we talk about important personal stuff?”
Wise parents know this is a crucial time to stay engaged. We may want to lean away from all the odd new interests. Even if our kids’ interests are outside of our tastes (were our tastes the same as our parents?), taking an interest in them can keep our kids feeling close and feeling noticed. Being noticed is a powerful need that kids will often get met in unhealthy ways.
Of course, if the activities are destructive or opposed to our values, then we need to do more than just notice them. There is a time to show interest and a time to set limits.
In the end, the time we spend asking our kids about the things that matter to them and the time we spend engaging with and learning about their interests will be time well-spent. Who knows? We may even learn to speak some alien.
For more strategies to navigate the difficult road of relating to teens, check out Parenting Teens with Love and Logic. During the month of December take advantage of our Magic of the Season Sale and purchase quality Love and Logic items at a 25% - 50% discount.
Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.
Jedd Hafer
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