How does your gender and sexual identity define you? Find out in this guide for identity fluidity in the 21st century.
The soul, when not in human form, is a being of light and energy. It has no gender and no sexual orientation. Therefore, gender and sexual identities are constructs of incarnation created for learning purposes. The question, then, is why did each of us choose our specific gender and sexual orientation for this lifetime?
I offer fresh perspectives on gender and sexual identity, including biological, sociological, and psychological influences with an emphasis on spiritual impacts. Included are new concepts about gender fluidity and alternative sexual orientations. I have drawn on years of research and personal experience to create the broadest perspective of gender and sexual identity compiled in one volume.
Gender and sexual identity are two of the most basic but powerful aspects of our personal identity. These are the bedrocks upon which we build our self-concept and the lenses through which we view the world. Labels are not important but self-identity is critical to self-empowerment. This book illustrates how our identities are not set at fixed points but lay along ever-shifting continua. Here you will discover:
- How gender and sexual identities are created and why.
- How gender and sexual identities change throughout one lifetime or over multiple lifetimes.
- Theories on why a soul chooses its gender and sexual identity when incarnating.
- The history and mythology of Two Spirit and Third Gender cultures around the world.
- The real story of a “boy named Sue”: the my life as a Four Spirit.
If you have questioned your gender and sexual identity or if you have never questioned your gender and sexual identity, this book is for you. This book is also for individuals who want a deeper understanding of gender and sexual identities, individuals who are improving their self-empowerment through identity ownership, individuals who are exploring identity fluidity, and students of gender and sexuality studies.
In Soul Sex, I offer a buffet of perspectives on gender, sexuality, and identity. You are invited to sample each of the dishes as food for thought.
Fluidity is the new identity of the 21st century.
Acceptance is the new morality.
Self-empowerment is the new mantra.
CONTENTS OF THE BOOK
The Real Story of a Boy Named Sue
Chapter 1: Introduction
Welcome to the Art & Soul of Gender & Sexuality
Chapter 2: Biology of Gender & Sexuality
The Forces of Nature
Chapter 3: Sociology & Psychology of Gender & Sexuality
The Forces of Nurture
Chapter 4: Spirituality of Gender & Sexuality
The Forces of the Spirit World
Chapter 5: The Energy Body & the Physical Body
The Layers of Body Consciousness
Chapter 6: Gender Identity
The Consciousness of Gender
Chapter 7: Sexual Identity
The Consciousness of Sexuality
Chapter 8: Changing Gender
Transitioning Gender & Sexual Orientation in One Lifetime
Chapter 9: Reincarnation
Transitioning Gender & Sexual Orientation over Multiple Lifetimes
Chapter 10: Two Spirits & 3rd Gender Cultures
Alternative Gender & Sexual Identities in Culture
Chapter 11: Self-Empowerment Support Services
Tools for Increasing Self-Knowledge & Belief in Self
Our Journey through the Sacred & Secular
Appendix: Reference Tools
Passion Poems: The Author's Trans*ition Poetry
Gender Diversity Etiquette
Days to Commemorate Gender & Sexual Identity Diversity
Glossary of Gender & Sexual Identity Terms
QUOTES FROM THE BOOK
[Note: Permission to reprint a quote is provided as long as the source is cited as "Soul Sex: The Alchemy of Gender & Sexuality" by Drake Bear Stephen. Any other use is prohibited under the copyright laws.]
ABOUT GENDER & SEXUALITY
“In Soul Sex, I am offering a buffet, from soup to nuts, of perspectives on gender, sexuality, and identity. I invite you to sample each of the dishes as food for thought.”
“Your genes determine what’s in your jeans (your biological body) but not what type of jeans you wear (your psychological identity).”
“The soul, when not incarnated, is a being of light and energy. It has no gender, no sex, and no sexual orientation. Gender and sexual identity are constructs of human incarnation. This means that the states of gender and sexual identity are created for the sole purpose of learning.”
“Gender identity is state of mind and not necessarily the physical state of the body. It drives social role and personal presentation. Sexual identity is a state of mind that drives the sexual activity of the physical body and the emotions of the heart.”
“Sexuality and gender are two of the most basic but powerful aspects of our personal identity. They are the bedrock upon which we build our self-concept and the lens through which we view the outer world.”
“A rose is a rose is a rose. But if a rose could talk, and it said it was not, would it still be a rose? This is the consciousness of identity.”
“The wonder of identity builds gender in 12 ways: psychologically, physically, professionally, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, biologically, legally, financially, aesthetically, ethically, and socially.”
“Although all individuals together make up a common tapestry, each of their lives is a unique and colorful thread. In Soul Sex we examine all of the independent threads of gender and sexuality to see how they weave together to create a beautiful textile.”
“Assuming a gender and sexual identity is not about putting on one outfit and wearing it for an entire lifetime. As outfits become outdated or outgrown, they can be discarded for new ones.”
“Gender is the prism that each one of us perceives others through in this physical world. It is the most observable quality about an individual.”
“We usually ‘read’ others’ gender from surface clues of the physical body, but an individual also has a gender energy that is not always as recognizable even though it is always present.”
“Gender and sexual identities are not caused but created. The creation of self-identity is complex, multidimensional, and made up of seen and unseen forces, including: biological, sociological, psychological, and spiritual factors.”
“Biology is no longer destiny due to the advances of Western medicine and surgical techniques. Now consciousness can power gender identity.”
“There are four major forces that shape the physical body: your genes, your hormones, time, and what you think of yourself.”
“21st century birth announcements should be non-gender specific and announce ‘Congratulations! It’s a human!’”
“Androgynous, intersex, and third gender individuals have been present from ancient times to modern times throughout the world. They are present in mythological and creation stories from many cultures and religions. Why then is a binary system of gender and sexual identity still the mainstream model in most cultures?”
“Non-conforming gender and sexual identities are gradually being eliminated from the books on mental disorders because these identities are natural and normal. Social awakening and subsequent law reforms are in progress to reflect the new consciousness of personal identity freedom and expression.”
“Picture your soul as a holographic globe with a continuum of sexual identity acting as longitude and a continuum of gender identity acting as latitude. Just as you can live at any longitude and latitude coordinates on Earth, you can be at any longitude and latitude of identity within the Soul. With free choice and fluidity of identity available to you at all times, you can spend an entire lifetime on one point or move from point to point throughout one lifetime.”
“Gender and sexuality are fluid and not permanently assigned at birth. It is possible for individuals to live outside of the two gender boxes of male and female. They can wake up each day and decide who they want to be at that moment in time.”
“Don’t assume that gender identity matches birth assigned sex. Modern etiquette practices should include asking an individual their preferred name and preferred pronoun.”
“We need to adapt our modern language to allow for non-gender specific pronouns that don’t keep us trapped in the old binary gender system.”
“Indigenous cultural perspectives that are based on a circular concept that all things are connected and interrelated seem to embrace the three or more gender classification systems more easily than Western cultural perspectives that are based on the linear concept that all things have a polar opposite and act independently of one another. These linear based belief systems perpetuate the binary sex system of only two legal gender statuses.”
“Because there are only two options at present, male or female, in binary gender systems, there is no place for individuals who have an identity that is both male and female or at some point between male and female. Yet the number of individuals who do not identify as either of the two legal choices is steadily on the rise.”
“Not all individuals with non-conforming gender identities are the same. Some individuals have a gender identity that is opposite of their birth assigned sex and take steps to transition the physical body to match their identity while others may have a gender identity that is somewhere between the male and female poles. These individuals make up the third gender.”
“How can people say it is unnatural to be somewhere between male and female? Picture a beautiful flower: the petals of its feminine genitalia enshroud the masculine phallus at its center.”
“Trans* individuals that live in a binary gender system are pressured to completely transit from one gender to the other. However, if there were a third gender option, how many might choose to remain at some identity between the two? How many truly embody characteristics of both male and female? Would more individuals be asking for both male and female genitalia? After all, wouldn’t that be the best of all worlds?”
“Past life experiences can have a big effect on current gender and sexual identities. In addition, a soul may change gender and sexual identity from one lifetime to another. The soul chooses specific identities to experience and learn for the purpose of growth.”
“The understanding, welcoming, and acceptance of trans* and intersex individuals as natural beings would change many lives in profound ways. Gone would be ostracism, shaming, stigmatizing, discrimination, bullying, and hate crimes perpetrated just because an individual is considered to be different.”
“I guess I am living the Reader’s Digest abridged version of fluid identity. I am a Four Spirit having lived a straight female-bodied individual; as a lesbian female-bodied individual; as a straight male-bodied individual; and as a gay male-bodied individual in one lifetime.”
“A transsexual’s emancipation proclamation is a custom made body. Surgery is one small step for a lifetime, one huge step towards freedom.”
“We should abandon classifying sexuality on the basis of an individual being attracted to someone like or opposite themselves. Individuals can identify their sexuality based on the object of their love i.e. andro-loving, gyno-loving, or pan-loving.”
“A chameleosexual is an individual whose sexual role is dependent on what the gender orientation of their partner is. In other words, an individual that is sexually versatile depending on the gender of their partner.”
“I’m not homo, hetero, bi, tri, or pan but simply sexual.”
“Self-identity is self-knowledge. Self-knowledge accompanied with self-esteem creates self-empowerment.”
“If we scuttle the belief that we are victims, we realize that each of us is so powerful that we intentionally create our Earth identities for the specific purposes of learning and experience. The resulting wisdom is a gift to our soul.”
“No matter who you are or how you identify, you are exactly who you are supposed to be at this given moment in time. Your mission, if you so choose to accept it, is to recognize your self-worth, amplify your self-love, and step into your personal power.”
“Each one of us is a prize from the Universe to our Self and from our Self to the Universe. Your personal prize is as precious as diamonds, more valuable than gold, and the most beautiful rainbow ever seen.”
“Every individual has the sacred right to their identity. Identity is complex, multidimensional, and as unique to each individual as snowflakes are different.”
“The bottom line is that all things are possible in the world of energy. And our entire universe and all its multiple dimensions, known or unknown, consists of energy.”
“As you heal old wounds, cancel outdated vows and contracts, and create a luminous Energy Body, you are free to find the treasure you seek. It may be peace, empowerment, energy, health, creativity, prosperity, spirituality, or love. But I guarantee that by the end of your quest, you will find that you are the treasure!”
“Being compassionate doesn’t mean you need to walk a mile in my moccasins. It simply means walk a mile next to me. With respect.”
“Projections become reflections. The world is a mirror. Use it to your advantage. What belief, thoughts, words, and actions you project upon its shiny surface is none other than the very same beliefs, thoughts, words, and actions that are reflected back to you from others.”
“Like a kid in an identity shop, I am searching for the Holy Gail, that Wind of Life, on whose wings I can ride to peace.”
“Self-security is created by striking a balance of being in a power position (yang energy) and being in a peaceful place (yin energy).”
“Self-identity is self-empowerment.”
“The stronger an individual’s identity is, the more at peace they will be because owning one’s identity is empowering.”
“Self-empowerment consists of four steps: 1) Know Yourself. 2) Love Yourself. 3) Be Yourself. and 4) Share Yourself.”
ABOUT THE SOUL
“Our identities are created, like the perfect storm, when multiple forces converge on one physical body in one lifetime. These forces are divided into three aspects: the Physical (includes nature, hormones, DNA, and genes); the Mental/Emotional (includes nurturing, family, culture, society, and personality); and the Spiritual (includes astrology, past lives, karma, pre-life selection, and soul purpose).”
“In our current lives not only are we are working on the karma that we created in past lives but we are creating karma that will affect our future lives.”
“Our inability to accept differences in others has the power to destroy lives. Furthermore, karma being what it is, individuals that persecute others because of differences will be experiencing the other end of that persecution in a future life.”
“Duality is a construct where incarnated souls learn from experiencing polar opposites. But duality is also a spectrum with an infinite number of points between the polar opposites. We learn balance by traveling along the spectrum until we find the middle point.”
“What we see when we look in the mirror is what the world reflects back to us. We get what we believe we deserve. When we believe we are not good enough or deserve what we want, we block the flow of abundance, prosperity, and love. The more we love ourselves the more of our dreams we are able to manifest.”
“The only thing we can take with us out of this lifetime is the knowledge and wisdom that our soul acquires. So any gain we make in knowing ourselves will stay with us. These are the questions to ask in the quest for wisdom: Who am I? Where do I come from? Where am I going? What is my purpose? What are my gifts?
“Perhaps my soul is really homeless because it has wandered through so many lifetimes in so many different cultures, creeds, genders, sexualities, and spiritualties.”
“A predominant characteristic of older souls is that they come onto the Earth plane with a sense of knowing. My message to old souls is, don’t let others shame you away from what you know even when you feel you are in a minority of one. Go with your gut instinct because it is the truth for you.”
“I was born in the 1950s where there was only the Black and White Way. There weren’t any Ifs, Ands, Buts, or Gray Areas allowed. Unfortunately, by the age of six, I knew I was not fitting in well with the Black and White Way. The 1960s introduced, and the 21st century is reinforcing, a replacement model for the Black and White Way. It is an inclusive Shades of Gray Way.”
“Shifting our perception from static to dynamic enables us to stop thinking in black and white and start thinking in the colorful multi-shades of the spectrum. This enables two-dimensional linear models that limit the human experience to transform into three-dimensional spherical models that are inclusive.”
COPYRIGHT © 2015 DRAKE BEAR STEPHEN. EXCEPT AS ACKNOWLEDGED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED