By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
Do you believe that parenting is the single most important thing you will ever do? If so, do you regularly question your parenting style, responses, beliefs and attitudes? If not, why? Wouldn’t examining your parenting strategies and skills be a worthwhile endeavor from time to time? If you think so, here are 20 questions you can use to check your current parenting consciousness level.
1. Do you manage your own mind (consciousness) before you manage your child’s behavior, or do you manage the child’s behavior without raising your own consciousness first?
2. Do you help children develop their inner authority, or do you insist that children follow an outside authority and learn to obey?
3. Do you parent from the end first, taking the time to build the foundation and path toward competent adulthood, or do you parent in the moment, doing what is fast, easy, and comfortable for you?
4. Do you focus on solutions, sending positive vibrations and emotions into the universe, or do you focus on problems, amplifying them and making them bigger?
5. Do you believe the most important part of what just happened with your child is how you choose to be in response to what just happened, or do you believe the most important part of what just happened with your child is what you do about what just happened?
6. Do you allow children to experience silence, or do you surround your children with noise?
7. Do you refuse to take things personally and respond from an essence beyond the ego, or do you take things personally and respond from an ego perspective?
8. Are you present with the parenting experience you are having at the moment, knowing it is perfect for this time and place, or do you resist the present parenting moment and attempt to control it by making it into something different?
9. Have you learned to yield, surrendering emotionally to the what is of your parenting life, or do you emotionally resist the what is of the parenting situation and invest energy in wishing it wasn’t so?
10. Do you know that inner resistance to a parenting situation creates outer resistance, or do you outwardly resist parenting situations with no regard to the effects that follow?
11. Do you let go of grievances, employing forgiveness and starting over, or do you carry grievances, continuing to resent the past?
12. Are you aware that children are in your life as much so you can learn from them as they are so they can learn from you, or do you believe you are the teacher and the children are the learners?
13. Have you figured out that your thoughts about a parenting situation are what produce your emotions, or do you believe the parenting situation causes your emotions?
14. Do you believe that children choose their suffering so they can learn lessons and allow that suffering to take them deeper to the learning that is waiting, or do you work to spare children from all suffering?
15. Have you developed the wisdom that comes from knowing that your only point of power is now, or do you frequently focus on the past and the future, ignoring the present moment?
16. Do you find yourself expressing gratitude regularly, focusing on abundance, or do you often express the desire for more or to have things be different, focusing on lack and limitation?
17. Do you work regularly to bring light to the darkness, or does your parenting behavior bring more darkness to the existing darkness?
18. When you spend money on your children do you invest in experiences, or do you invest in things?
19. Do you rise above thought and either choose the thought you want or transcend thought by accessing the dimension that exists beyond thought, or do you equate yourself with your thinking and let your thoughts direct your behavior?
20. Do you create a culture of accountability in your home with love and kindness, or do you not hold children accountable for their actions or do it with anger and control through punishment?
Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of The Abracadabra Effect: The 13 Verbally Transmitted Diseases and How to Cure Them. They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish free parent and educator newsletters. To subscribe to the newsletters or obtain information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their websites today: www.thomashaller.com or www.chickmoorman.com.