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Parent Newsletter #135
August 25, 2015
Welcome! This is a free parent newsletter offered to you by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller.
Mission Statement
Our mission is to strengthen families and improve parent communication skills (including our own) by helping parents learn practical, usable verbal strategies for raising responsible, caring, confident children.
In This Issue
  1. Quote
  2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation
  3. Bumper Sticker
  4. Talking to Children about School: 11 Do's and Don'ts
  5. Back-to-School Video Clips
1. Quote
"Affection without sentiment, authority without cruelty, discipline without aggression, humor without ridicule, sacrifice without obligation, companionship without possessiveness."
 
∼ William E. Blatz
2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation
Are your children free? In your home, are they free of the past? Are they free to start over today? Are they free to make their own choices and take the consequences that follow? Are they free to find their own contribution to the world?
3. Bumper Sticker
Spotted on a green Chevrolet Express in Port Huron, MI:   
 
Grandparents
So Easy To Operate
Even a Child Can Do It
4. Talking to Children about School:
    11 Do's and Don'ts
By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
 
The school year has just begun or is beginning soon for many of your children. Also beginning, and hopefully continuing throughout the year, is the school-related dialog you engage in with your children. To make those conversations more meaningful, garner increased information, encourage and nurture self-responsibility, and build positive relationships with your children, consider the following do's and don'ts.
 
Do listen, listen, listen. When your child begins talking about school, put down what you were doing, resist the urge to multitask, turn and face your child, give strong eye contact, lean forward, and pay attention. Let your body language communicate "I am here for you. I am present. I care what you have to say, I am interested." It is no accident that we put this one first.
 
Don't judge what your children are saying. The instant you judge with "That's a good/bad idea," "How could you have done that?" "You should have done this . . ." you are inviting an abrupt end to the conversation. Judging sends a "Big Me/Little You" message. A judge by definition is above the person being judged. Children do not like being in that position and will give you less information in the future.
 
Don't say "I was bad in math, too." First of all, this statement announces that you agree that your child is bad in math. Your child is not bad in math. She is simply learning fractions slowly right now. Second, this sentence invites her to view her math ability as hereditary. This can quickly transfer into a dead-end belief: "Being bad in math runs in the family."
 
Do invite goal setting. Help your child set goals for the year, week or day on occasion. Also show them that when they have a goal, it requires action steps to reach it. For instance, if their goal is to learn their multiplication tables by Friday, what do they need to do to get there? 1. Make flash cards. 2. Practice with 2's and 3's by myself. 3. Have someone else practice with me. 4. Do a timed practice test. 4. Move on to the 4's and 5's. And so on.
 
Don't ask "Do you have any homework?" This question is often the first words out of a parent’s mouth when they greet their children after school. "It's good to see you. Hope you created a great day" is a more inviting, nurturing greeting. Don't use the word homework. Call it study time or feed-your-brain time. Study time and feed-your-brain time are done on a regular schedule whether your children have homework or not. It is important that you are there with them, feeding your brain also.
 
Do praise effort over intelligence. When parents predominately praise intelligence, as in "You're so smart. You have a great brain there," children come to see intelligence as a fixed commodity. They think people are smart or not and there is not much anyone can do about it. Through effort, intelligence can be increased. To praise effort, say, "You worked on that Spanish until you learned to use all of the 15 color words," or "You sure are persistent with that term paper/book report/art project. Looks like you're going to have it done on time."
 
Do invite your children to share what they have learned with you. "How about teaching me how to do that?" "Is there something you learned in school today that I might not know? I'd like to hear about it." The fastest way to lock in learning is to teach a concept or skill to someone else. Have your children move their learning into their long-term memory by teaching it to you.
 
Do ask questions that require more than a one-word answer. "How was school today?" is going to get you the often-spoken "Fine." "If you could change one thing about today, what would it be?" will likely be the start of a meaningful conversation. "Tell me about the most interesting/surprising/
humorous thing that happened today" will invite your children to enter into an expanded dialog.
 
Do not say "If you get in trouble at school, you'll be in trouble at home, too." Having this conversation before inappropriate behavior has occurred sends the silent message that you expect inappropriate behavior to occur. In addition, it is applying double jeopardy. If your child is held accountable by the school personnel, do not pile on an extra consequence.
 
Do not say "This year will be a lot harder than last year" or "That’s going to be a tough class." Sending ominous warnings creates an expectation of harder and tougher in your child's mind. Do you really want your child going into the new school year thinking the class/grade/teacher will be hard? If it is hard, they will figure that out soon enough.
 
Do inquire "How did you choose to BE today?" instead of "What did you DO today?" Over time, this question helps children understand that they do indeed choose how to BE. They become conscious that their attitude and demeanor are controllable, and that they, themselves, are the controller.
 
Pick a couple of these suggestions to implement this week. You know which ones. And remember when you do it that you get to decide how to BE.
 
Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of The Abracadabra Effect: The 13 Verbally Transmitted Diseases and How to Cure Them. They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish free parent and educator newsletters. To subscribe to the newsletters or obtain information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their websites today:
5. Back-to-School Video Clips
with Thomas Haller

The 7 video clips that follow are all done in the WNEM-TV 5 studios in Saginaw, MI. They all feature Thomas Haller and are part of a series of back-to-school tips for parents that appear on the station's website. All are four minutes or less in length.
 
Disclaimer: Each video has a short, 15 seconds or less, commercial at the beginning. Neither Thomas Haller nor Chick Moorman endorse any of the products displayed. It has never been our practice to use commercials on this site. We have made an exception in this case because the information which follows the short commercial is extremely valuable for parents with school-age children. 
 
"Establishing a morning schedule."
 
"Reducing the first day jitters."
 
"Setting goals for this school year."
 
"Building a positive school attitude."
 
"Why do I have to learn this stuff?"
 
"How to handle a school bully."
 
"How to get kids to do homework.”
Chick Moorman
 
Contact Chick at:
 
1-877-360-1477 (toll-free)
e-mail ipp57@aol.com
www.chickmoorman.com
www.twitter.com/chickmoorman
www.facebook.com/chick.moorman
 
CLICK HERE TO VISIT CHICK'S WEBSITE.
 
Thomas Haller
 
Contact Thomas at:
 
989-686-5356
e-mail thomas@thomashaller.com
www.thomashaller.com
www.twitter.com/tomhaller
www.facebook.com/thomas.b.haller
 
CLICK HERE TO VISIT THOMAS' WEBSITE.
 
Copyright
Copyright 2015 Chick Moorman Seminars and Thomas Haller Seminars, all rights reserved. Share this with your circle.
 
The Parent Talk System Facilitator Training Via SKYPE
For those of you who live in distant places or find you are unable to travel to Michigan for our once-a-year training, check out the one-on-one SKYPE training with Chick Moorman.
 
CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION.
Book of the Month
Couple Talk: How to Talk Your Way to a Great Relationship
 
by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
 
50% off, September only!
 
288 pages - $24.95 - now only $12.47 [Add to Cart]
 
Contains a variety of verbal skills and language patterns that will strengthen your primary relationship by improving communication between you and your partner. Become a response-able communicator—able to respond appropriately and effectively to the everyday situations that all couples encounter. Helps you build a relationship based on mutual respect and caring.
 
CLICK HERE TO ORDER 
New Websites
1.  The Abracadabra Effect
 
For adding personal empowerment skills to your life and the lives of significant others.
 
 
2.  The Spirit Whisperers Sanctuary
 
A new website for teachers and parents.
 
 
New on Facebook
Both Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman have joined Facebook. We would both welcome an opportunity to be added to your friends list on our personal sites. Please send us friend requests at Thomas B. Haller and Chick Moorman that tells us you are a Parent Newsletter subscriber so we can recognize how we know you.
 
More on Facebook
 
Spirit Whisperer Oasis
 
An oasis for educators and parents who desire more support, encouragement and affirmation for what they do to teach to a child's spirit. Check it out on Facebook and be sure to hover over the LIKE section so you can click SEND NOTIFICATIONS to insure you get all the new postings.
 
www.facebook.com/Spiritwhispereroasis
 
 
The Abracadabra Effect
 
The Abracadabra Effect: The 13 Verbally Transmitted Diseases and How to Cure Them contains the information and prescriptions necessary to eliminate dis-ease from your life. Begin today to increase your personal power and self-responsibility. Model healthy speaking, thinking, believing, and living to your family and coworkers.
 
www.facebook.com/pages/The-Abracadabra-Effect/1481907655386315
Seminar Schedule
Aug. 25 - East Lansing, MI
Celebrate the Spirit Whisperers, 9:00 am - 12:00 pm, The Only 3 Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need, 1:00 pm - 4:00 pm. Stepping Stone Montessori. For information contact Colleen Carlson at 517-336-0422 or email ccarlson@elsteppingstones.org.

Aug. 26 - Ann Arbor, MI
Celebrate the Spirit Whisperers, 9:00 am - 12:00 pm, The Only 3 Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need, 1:00 pm - 4:00 pm. Christian Montessori School of Ann Arbor. For information contact Laura Bengel at 734-332-9600 or email lbengel@cmsaa.org.

Oct. 9 - Crestwood, IL
Motivating the Unmotivated, 8:00 am - 3:30 pm. For information contact Carol Costello at ccostello@eisencoop.org.

Nov. 4 - Burlington, VT
Helping Students Move from "I Can't" and "I Won't" to "I Can" and "I Will", 8:00 am - 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.

Nov. 5 - Manchester, NH
Helping Students Move from "I Can't" and "I Won't" to "I Can" and "I Will", 8:00 am - 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.

Nov. 6 - Portland, ME
Helping Students Move from "I Can't" and "I Won't" to "I Can" and "I Will", 8:00 am - 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.

Nov. 12 - Anaheim, CA
Helping Students Move from "I Can't" and "I Won't" to "I Can" and "I Will", 8:00 am - 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.

Nov. 13 - Pasadena, CA
Helping Students Move from "I Can't" and "I Won't" to "I Can" and "I Will", 8:00 am - 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.

Nov. 30 - Syracuse, NY
Motivating the Unmotivated, 8:00 am - 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.

Dec. 1 - Chicago South, IL
Motivating the Unmotivated, 8:00 am - 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.

Dec. 2 - Chicago North, IL
Motivating the Unmotivated, 8:00 am - 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.

Dec. 3 - St. Louis, MO
Motivating the Unmotivated, 8:00 am - 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.

Dec. 4 - Denver, CO
Motivating the Unmotivated, 8:00 am - 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.

Media Schedule
 
Thomas on television answering viewer questions:
 
Relationship Matters – Every Monday at 9:15 am on WNEM TV5 Better Mid-Michigan
 
Family Matters with Thomas Haller Fridays at noon, Saturdays at 8:45 am, Sundays at   7:45 am and 8:45 am on WNEM TV5. Also streaming live at: www.wnem.com.
 
To view Dr. Tom's previous Family Matters segments, CLICK HERE.
 
Thomas on the radio answering questions and discussing hot topics:
 
Every Thursday morning at 7:30 am on CARZ 108FM – Streaming live online www.wcrz.com.
 
Listen to Thomas on The Thomas and Valerie Show on www.prx.org or on www.thethomasandvalerieshow.com.
Links
CHICK MOORMAN
THOMAS HALLER
PERSONAL POWER PRESS
TEACHER TALK ADVANTAGE
SPIRIT WHISPERER SANCTUARY
THE ABRACADABRA EFFECT
REESE HALLER
PARKER HALLER
DENTAL TALK
THE THOMAS AND VALERIE SHOW
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http://www.personalpowerpress.com
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