- Our job is to consistently do the things that give kids an opportunity to become responsible -
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When asked, “What’s our job as a great parent or great teacher?” most people say something like, “To raise or help create respectful and responsible kids.” I disagree.
 
It’s not our job to raise responsible kids. Our job is to consistently do the things that give kids an opportunity to become responsible.
 
When we spend all of our time and energy trying to make our kids respectful and responsible, we open ourselves up to major power struggles. It’s as if we send an unstated message such as, “All of my self-worth and happiness is tied up in how well you behave.” This is far too much power for any child to have. Too often, strong-willed children use this power to punish their parents.
 
In contrast, when we focus on doing the right things and giving our kids a great opportunity, we place appropriate responsibility on them and they have no battle to fight. The unstated message is much different: “While I want very much for you to have a happy and responsible life, I can’t make that happen for you. You are the one who has to do most of the work.”
 
Take care of yourself by remembering that the only person you really have complete control over is yourself. For more helpful tips, check out the title, How to Discipline Kids Without Losing Their Love and Respect.
 
Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.
 
Dr. Charles Fay

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