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Dealing With Difficult People
from Oscar Benavides, Executive Director

 
How do you have peace with those people who can be so difficult? What do you do when you have tried to have a good relationship with them and they just won't cooperate? Relationships are hard and people often make life harder.
 
According to the book, "The Outward Mindset", the key to improving relationships lies in our mindset. We can either provoke people to war or invite them to peace. Obviously we can't manipulate or force peace, but we can invite others to a peaceful relationship. We do that by seeing them as people with hurts, pains, and struggles. Seeing them as struggling people usually gives us compassion and therefore an opportunity to open our hearts to them too. That mindset of peace is what invites others to peace, even though it doesn't guarantee it. Paul said in Romans 12, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."
 
Have you offended someone? Have you hurt a friend or family member? Apologizing is not as hard as you think - seek their forgiveness and experience peace! Has someone offended you? Forgive them . . .today!
"I'm going to really give it back to him next time"  A classroom heart of war conversation

Melissa (LINCNT Instructor name changed):  "Tell me a situation where there was a heart of war.  It could be with one of you or someone else."
Student, yelling out: "I know who has a heart of war - ROBERT!" (name changed)
Melissa had encouraged them not to share specific names. 
S, very upset: "Everyone knows about it. Every time he grabs my face mask and pushes me. He keeps going even after he is supposed to stop."

The student is moving around and obviously very angry.
M: "I guess this is an obvious heart of war."
S: "Well, if he doesn't stop, I'm going to really give it back to him next time."
M: "So, you both have a heat of war?"
S, trying to interrupt: "NO!"
M: "If you try and look at this a little differently, you might be able to have a heart of peace."
S, interrupting again: "That's impossible!"
M: "I know you are a good player."
S: "You don't know that!"
M: "I heard you are a great player from someone else on your team. Their dad even told me that you have a ton of potential. Since you are such a good player, do you think that this other guy is trying to go after you because you are one of the best on the team?"
The student has started to calm down.
S: "...but if he does it again, I'm gonna..."
M, writing on the board the word JEALOUS: "Do you think that his heart of war is coming from jealousy?"
The whole classroom started agreeing out loud.
S: "Okay, I hear you."
M: "Maybe he is trying to prove something."
S: "Go on..."
M: "Maybe, just maybe the problem really doesn't have anything to do with you. Maybe it has to do with his jealousy about how good you are. So now, instead of looking at him with anger, do you think you can look/ at him with compassion, understanding that if you were not a good player you might feel bad too"
S, nodding his head: "OK."
M: "That is having a heart of peace. Putting yourself in his shoes, understanding how he might feel. You might even feel bad for him. Your teammate having a go at you might actually be a compliment."
S: "I get it."
The student got a smile on his face, crossed his arms, and leaned back.
S: "Miss, you gave me something to think about."
 
Two weeks later this same young man told the instructor that he wasn't upset with his teammate even though he hasn't stopped charging at him. LINC NT is transforming lives and training students and their families how to have peaceful relationships. LINC NT is leading about 1,500 students through these life changing lessons. Your prayers and financial gifts help LINC NT reach more.  You can be a part of this transformation too!  Click the link below.


Calendar:
November 6th, 8:00am & 10:45am - Executive Director Oscar Benavides preaching at Concordia Lutheran, Garland
 
November 9th, 5pm-8pm - Family Night, Blalack Middle School, Carrollton
 
November 2nd, 9th, & 16th, 6:30pm - Faith & Finances in Spanish
 
November 10th, 5pm-8pm - Family Night, Polk Middle School
 
November 15th, 5pm-8pm - Family Night, Field Middle School, Carrollton
 
November 17th, 1pm-4pm - Cost of Poverty Experience, Watermark Church, Dallas $20.00.  Click HERE to register. 
In the next issue:
Meet the new LINC North Texas church planter Jaime Gonzalez and read about the vision of planting new churches in North Texas. 


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LINC North Texas is a 501(c)(3) charitable non-profit organization.
We are a member of ECFA (Evangelical Council for Financial Accountability).
We are audited annually by CapinCrouse LLP Certified Public Accountants and have previous audits and IRS tax returns available on our website.
LINC North Texas  •  PO Box 702863  •  Dallas  •  TX  •  75370

http://www.lincnt.org

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