There will never be enough rules, rewards, or consequences to get difficult kids to behave if the relationship is absent.
Love and Logic - Insider's Club
Parents Educators Facilitators Classes and Conferences Blog

Click to play audio

"I just got a call from the school! She got arrested for smoking pot in the parking lot! What am I going to do with this kid?"
 
My heart weighed heavy as one of my oldest and dearest friends described this painful news. Desperate for a solution, she phoned me for advice. Isn't it amazing how much harder it is to think of solutions when the problem involves a close friend… or family member?
 
As I listened, I racked my brain trying to imagine what might help. As we pondered the situation together, two types of parents popped up in my memory. From years of working with families in crisis, I began to remember the faces of parents who helped their kids through seemingly hopeless situations, as well as those whose children were truly lost. As I remembered, it dawned on me that the most successful parents seem to follow the same course… the same set of guidelines… regardless of whether their child is smoking pot, drinking, shoplifting, being sexually promiscuous, etc.
 
When our kids do outrageous things, it's pretty normal to feel outrageously angry at them. When parents act out this feeling… by delivering angry threats, lectures, warnings, or ultimatums… the odds of a happy ending go way down.
 
There is nothing more powerful than the love we show our kids. Nothing will work without it!
 
Limits won’t work without this love. Strong-willed kids get great joy out of breaking the rules set by those they perceive as cold or uncaring.
 
Consequences won’t work without this love. Difficult kids view consequences as "worth it" if their behavior upsets someone they don't like.
 
Rewards feel like bribes when they come from someone who doesn't care.
 
There will never be enough rules, rewards, or consequences to get difficult kids to behave if the relationship is absent.
 
By showing our unconditional love, are we condoning the bad behavior? Absolutely not! By replacing anger with empathy we send the following message: I will always love you even when I don't love something you have done!
 
Charles Fay, Ph.D. - BiographyThanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.
 
Dr. Charles Fay
 
Share this article on Facebook
 
Exclusive Member Discount
Buy Now

25% off CD or MP3: $9.95
 This week $7.46
Coupon Code 061417
 

 
Plan next summer's family vacation around the
Love and Logic

Educator & Parent Retreat
June 25-27, 2018
Join us in beautiful Breckenridge, CO at the Beaver Run Resort 
 
View the flyer
for more details about this exciting event
or call
800-338-4065
 
 
Graduate-level credit
is available.
 

 
Watch a Love and Logic On-Demand Webinar
or
find a local trainer teaching classes in your area.
Facebook Twitter YouTube Pintrest Google+
For helpful tips, special promotions, and event announcements, join Love and Logic® on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Pinterest.
Funny Parenting Stories and Funny Stories from the Classroom: amusing audios available for your listening pleasure, compliments of Love and Logic. Visit this page to download and enjoy.
 
© 2017 Love and Logic Institute, Inc. All copyright infringement laws apply. Permission granted for forwarding and/or for a single photocopy or electronic reproduction of one email tip only. Please do not alter or modify. For more information, call the Love and Logic Institute, Inc. at 800-338-4065.
 
View as Web Page
Please enable images

Love and Logic Institute, Inc.  •  2207 Jackson St  •  Golden, CO 80401

https://www.loveandlogic.com

Subscribe  •  Preferences  •  Send to a Friend  •  Unsubscribe  •  Report Spam
Powered by MyNewsletterBuilder
Please enable images
Please enable images