Some quick tips for placing the lion’s share of responsibility on your kids.
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If you’ve ever resorted to nagging, begging, or threatening your kids off to daycare or school, you are not alone! Sadly, when this happens, frequently our relationships suffer and our kids fail to learn important lessons about responsibility and self-sufficiency.
 
Provided below are some quick tips for placing the lion’s share of responsibility on your kids:
 
Remember that even children as young as three or four can learn this skill.
 
   Small children can follow a visual list of tasks they have to complete each morning. Some parents print pictures representing getting dressed, brushing teeth, eating, etc.
 
Practice when you’re not stressed.
 
   Wise parents teach their kids how to get ready and practice on a weekend morning. Older children with special needs can also benefit from this practice, as well as having a list like the one mentioned above.
 
Rise a bit early and get yourself ready first.
 
   Children learn almost all important skills by watching the “big” people around them. Experiment with saying, “We will help you get ready when we are completely ready ourselves.” Help them only when you are completely ready to go. In addition to providing a good example, this allows us to be far more relaxed as we are assisting our kids.
 
Set a small number of limits and resist the urge to nag or remind.
 
   For example:
 
   Breakfast is served until the timer goes “ding.”

My car is leaving at seven o’clock. Will you be going to school with your clothes on your body or in a bag?

I charge ten dollars to drive kids when they’ve missed the bus.
 
The key is resisting the urge to remind. The more we remind, the more we have to remind.
 
Allow your kids to blow it.
 
   Too often we nag and remind so that our kids will eat breakfast… or do their hair… or brush their teeth… or remember their homework. Wise parents understand that children will never take responsibility for doing such things when they aren’t allowed to make mistakes and experience the logical and natural consequences… blanketed in SINCERE EMPATHY.
 
Kids who learn to take responsibility for their exit each morning are far more likely to enter their workplace on time each morning as adults. For more practical strategies designed to raise responsible self-sufficient kids, check out our video Simple Parenting Strategies.
 
Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.
 
Dr. Charles Fay

 
 


 
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