Some things to try when criticisms fly.
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Sometimes, teachers delay consequences, conversations, and outcomes so that they can respond to their students with more wisdom and compassion.
 
Sometimes, parents let kids know that their “energy has been drained” and they will have to do something about their kids’ misbehavior later.
 
Sometimes, adults exercise self-control and remember to respond with patience and kindness instead of anger and wrath.
 
And sadly, onlookers sometimes interpret these skills and actions as weakness. These onlookers conclude that the Love and Logic adults are “just being too nice.”
 
So, what do we do when people think we’re being too nice/weak?
 
   Remember our goal is to raise wonderful human beings – not impress the “judges” who may be holding up 2s, 3s, and 3.5s at our “performance.”
   Remember kids learn best when their brains are feeling safe and calm. Anything we do to be scary to kids is creating the opposite of a good learning situation for that young brain.
   Remember self-control is a strength and the failure to control our emotions can be a dangerous weakness – one that can cause us to harm others and say and do things we don’t mean.
 
When criticisms fly, some adults use “one-liners” similar to those we teach to kids for occasions when their peers make obnoxious observations:
 
   “Thanks for noticing.”
   “I always appreciate hearing different viewpoints.”
   “Appreciate the feedback.”
 
Or, some adults decide to say nothing at all to the critics and just focus on doing their best to raise thoughtful, kind, responsible young people.
 
There are a lot worse things than kids learning to be really nice by watching us.
 
Jim Fay - BiographyThanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.
 
Jedd Hafer

 
 


 
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