Take this quick quiz to gauge your understanding and application of empathy.
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Empathy is the heart of Love and Logic. If we consistently fail to communicate a sincere desire to understand what our kids are going through, we aren’t using Love and Logic.
 
There are times when I blow it. Is this ever the case for you? If so, remember that none of us are perfect. We all fall short of this unrealistic standard. Nevertheless, Love and Logic people make it a point to continue learning. That’s why they seek feedback from others.
 
Take this quick quiz to gauge your understanding and application of empathy. More importantly, ask an honest friend to complete it with you in mind. Afterwards, compare your self-perception with how your friend sees you. Is it a good match?
 
For each of the scenarios below, choose the most empathetic response.
 
1. Being upset about moving to another community.
 
a.   Don’t worry. You’ll make new friends.
b.   I know how you feel.
c.   Why are you being so negative?
d.   It looks like you are really hurting over having to leave.
 
2. Child played poorly during the soccer game.
 
a.   Nobody is perfect.
b.   You just need more practice. When we get home I’ll give you some tips.
c.   It seems like you are feeling really disappointed.
d.   The center referee was terrible. I can see why you are upset.
 
3. The child is crying and says, “Nobody likes me.”
 
a.   That’s not true.
b.   You sound a bit lonely.
c.   You have lots of friends.
d.   Go ask Ava. She’ll be your friend.
 
4. Child broke a window and they have to pay for it.
 
a.   Oh… I can’t imagine how upsetting this must be.
b.   It’s okay. It could have hit a bigger window.
c.   This is so sad, but you should have been more careful.
d.   Did I ever tell you about when I broke the window in Grandpa’s car?
 
5. Child is upset about being teased by a sibling.
 
a.   Some day it will get easier.
b.   What a bummer. I hope for your sake that you guys work this out.
c.   It seems as if you are feeling really hurt by what she said.
d.   Just stand up to her.
 
6. Child says, “I can’t do this homework.”
 
a.   Yes you can. Just try.
b.   Neither can anyone else.
c.   You always say that.
d.   You sound frustrated.
 
7. The child misbehaved in the store.
 
a.   This is so embarrassing for me.
b.   After all I do for you, this is the way you treat me?
c.   I’m sorry you had to go to the store. I know it’s boring.
d.   That’s an Energy Drain. You owe me extra chores.
 
Answers: 1(d); 2(c); 3(b); 4(a); 5(c); 6(d); 7(none)
 
For ongoing tips for fine-tuning your empathy and other Love and Logic skills, sign up for our Love and Logic Subscription Program.
 
Charles Fay, Ph.D. - BiographyThanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.
 
Dr. Charles Fay
 
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