|May 2021 Vol. II: Issue 11|
The "Merry Merry Month of May" is on the horizon and so is Mother's Day, which for many is not the greatest of holidays. For all of the obvious, and not so obvious reasons, "Mother's Day" can be depressing, triggering old and new wounds around mother and family of origin issues.
Just a few days ago I was speaking with a friend whose mother has since crossed over to the spirit world, and yet for my friend, the pain of their relationship still looms large. To be truthful, her mom was not at her best in this life regarding her children and they must deal with this as she is physically gone.
Much guilt and regret looms large in their lives. As I listened to my friend speak, I could hear and see the pain in her voice and etched on her face. Could I have done better, could I have done more to heal the relationship with my mother?
What else could she have done? You keep turning the expectations over in your mind. You are rethinking your actions and responses, which leads to questioning and doubting yourself. Instead of making yourself crazy, why not ask and honestly answer this one simple question, "What else could I have done?" Then take it a step further by asking, "If you could have done it, why didn't you do it?"
Could you have been more considerate? Compassionate? Understanding? Probably. Could you have said more or less? Could you have listened a bit closer? Could you have planned better? Waited longer? Of course you could have but you didn't?
We've all been there. Perhaps in different ways but you are not alone!
When you feel sufficiently remorseful, overwhelmingly confused and totally beaten down, you will be on the brink of a "eureka moment." You will be face to face with something you probably never considered. The truth is, if you could have done it you would have done it! The fact that you didn't means you couldn't for reasons you may not be aware of right now.
Second guessing yesterday will not help you today. Holding yourself hostage to what was not will not propel you into what will be. As you accept the reality of what you did not do in the past, you open yourself up to the luxury of knowing it does not mean you will not do better in the future.
You did all you could have done at the time. Note what you saw, heard, felt and experienced, and do better next time!
Whatever Mother's Day means to you, experience it as deeply and authentically as you can.
The First of May
If I could stay up late no doubt
I'd catch the buds just bursting out,
And up from every hidden root,
Would jump a tiny slender root,
I wonder how seeds learn the way,
they always know the very day---
The pretty, happy first of May;
If I could stay up then, no doubt,
I'd catch the buds just bursting out.
|Living on the Dash|
I shall pass thru this world but once;
any good thing therefore I can do,
or any kindness I can show
to any human being
let me do it now,
let me not defer it or neglect it,
for I shall not pass this way again.
by Stephen Grellet
The following is a quote from the American Humanist Society.
"Humanism is a progressive philosophy of life that, without supernatural beliefs, affirms our ability and responsibility to lead ethical lives of personal fulfillment that aspire to the greater good of humanity"
This is another way of saying humans are the source of problems and they work to solve them. A Humanist is one who believes in the importance, dignity, and worthiness of being a human being and of trying to live humanely.
You can see how the Humanist philosophy fits right in with the UU principles.
From Helen Bell, UU/HH
Unitarian Universalist/ Happy Humanist
May 2nd: David Roth performs; Linda Metzner, 1 hymn, prelude and postlude.
David Roth strikes many chords, hearts, and minds with his unique songs, offbeat observations, moving stories, sense of the hilarious, and powerful singing and subject matter. He is a singer, songwriter, recording artist, and enthusiastic instructor who has taken his songs, experience, and expertise to a wide variety of venues in this and other countries full-time for more than three decades.
May 9th: Second Sunday, Sue Stone, guitar and voice, three songs; Linda Metzner, 2 hymns.
Sue Stone says, "Music has been a part of my life since the beginning - piano since starting lessons at age 7, singing in choirs and community choruses, teaching myself guitar at 35, singing for church and community events and leading sing-alongs at nursing homes. I even took a detour into mountain dulcimer when I lived in Arkansas. I live in an ecovillage, and love the mountains, gardening and bird-watching."
May 16th: Linda Metzner, 3 hymns, prelude and postlude
May 23rd: UUCSV Choir, 2 anthems; Sue Stone, prelude, postlude and 2 hymns.
May 30th: Linda Metzner, prelude, postlude and 3 hymns.
Many thanks to David Madden and Rose Levering for volunteering to work on our church library. They have selected non-fiction books that should be of interest to spiritual seekers and social activists. Some books are stored on a bookshelf in the entry portico of the building. Other books are on the bookshelves in the preschool room. At this time, borrowing a book is on the honor system. So when you visit our church building, feel free to browse our book collections and borrow a book of interest to you.
It Takes a Village
It all began in March 2020, when then Board President, Linda Tatsapaugh, introduced our first virtual Sunday Service from the pulpit, with the choir spread out in the sanctuary. She said that we would likely be reaching our congregation virtually for a couple of weeks. The next week in the pulpit she announced that we would likely be producing virtual services for a month.
Fast forward, we are at 14 months and running, producing virtual services every week! Who would have thought? We hope you are tuning into the services which you can view anytime or day once it starts running on YouTube and FaceBook at 10:45 Sunday mornings. In this article, we will give you a behind the scenes look at how UUCSV volunteers put the services together.
It all began with our HERO, Evan Yanik. He established the format, filming, and photography for our high quality Sunday services on his iPhone, using a free piece of software called iMovie.
When Michael is not in the pulpit, the Sunday Service Associates (SSA) locate a guest minister/speaker. Many thanks to our SSA’s Roberta Madden, Lee Reading, Diane Graham, Harry Petrequin and out-going valued member of the team, Nancy Gavin. These fine volunteers shake the bushes to find guest speakers and host the service. If you are interested in the creative process of putting together a Sunday Service, please contact one of these members FMI (for more info) about volunteering to help them out.
Each week we start with a plan for who will be in the pulpit on the upcoming Sunday. Michael or the SSA generates the Order of Service by Monday. Then, the Order of Service (OoS) goes to Annelinde, who adds the musical components. From there the OoS goes to Susan Enwright-Hicks, our coordinator for children’s programs, Evan who films in the sanctuary on Wednesday, to Carolyn Shorkey who puts together all of the recordings and edits the service in iMovie, and to Damaris for publication of the OoS along with links to the service and coffee hour in The Current on Thursday.
Once Carolyn puts all of the components of the service together including musical contributions from Annelinde, our guest musicians, including Sue Stone (our volunteer pianist), and/or one choir performance, Carolyn converts the movie into a format for YouTube and FaceBook and uploads it onto her Google Drive so Evan can access it. On Saturday evening, Evan adds Joys and Concerns, an additional choir piece, and last minute announcements. Evan then gets the movie loaded into YouTube and Facebook and sends out an email reminder with the links to the service in an email to the congregation on Sunday morning.
The member of the Board of Trustees who does Welcome and Announcements, also hosts our vibrant virtual coffee hour. If you haven’t yet attended our coffee hour, I can assure you it is well worthwhile. Not only do you often get to visit with Michael or our speaker to thank them for their work, you also get to thank Annelinde and musicians and choir members. And most importantly we like to joke around a bit and LAUGH together.
Then on Monday, the process begins again, and again and again.
So, you see, it does take a village to put together our inspirational Sunday Services. Please join us and spread the word!
by Carolyn Shorkey
Winds of Change
Winds gust mightily these days
but how many of us feel them?
Do you maybe? And if so,
how do they blow across you?
Do they force you to turn around
if only for a short while? Or do you
keep pushing forward regardless,
firm in your choice of direction?
Perhaps they refresh your walk
Or instead chill you to the bone.
Might you dread these fierce winds
or simply pay them no mind?
Do their sounds remind you
of blustery times from long ago?
What do you remember of those times?
What tunes might they carry to you now?
Are you ready to go with the flow or instead
bundle up, lessening their influence on you?
Or maybe you turn to face them straight on, seeking
their tingle, bare armed and both eyes watering?
And when these gusts have finally died down
might you perhaps miss them then?
Will you treasure their impact, remembering
how, if at all, they changed your life?
author of "This Virgin Page"
Happy birthday to these UUCSV members and friends...all born in May!
May 2 - Murphy Capps
May 8 - Rosemary Ostertag
May 10 - Alton Hancock
May 11 - Richard Graham
May 14 - Kim Taylor
May 15 - Peter Boggs
May 20 - Sue Stone
May 25 - Emory Underwood
|Susan would like to say, "Thanks, to everyone who has put forth the time and effort to make beautiful services happen for more than a year now, and to the RE parents whose kids have been connected to RE in any way in this difficult time.|
Many blessings on all reading this.
To paraphrase our Jewish friends at Passover, “Next year in Black Mountain “
Blessings too for my fellow Mothers (of children, or companies, or parents, or projects) as we approach Mother’s Day.
Director of RE
|This is the list of where contributions were made to non-profits from UUCSV. These non-profits were selected on the basis of the congregation survey.|
1. Veterans Restoration Quarters
2. Appalachian Wildlife Refuge
3. Asheville Planned Parenthood
5. Bounty and Soul
6. Building Bridges
7. Campaign for Southern Equality
8. CIMA (Companeros Immigrantes de las Montanas en Accion)
9. Clean Water for North Carolina
10. El Centro Neuvos
11. Green Opportunities
12. Habitat for Humanity
13. Homeward Bound
14. Just Economics
15. Lord’s Acre
16. Ministry of Hope
17. MLK Breakfast Program Ad
18. Creation Care (Mountain True)
19. Muddy Sneakers
20. My Daddy Taught Me That.
21. My Sister Taught Me That
22. NAMI - Carolina Chapter
23. NC Warn
24. Open Table (United Methodist Church)
25. Oak Ridge Environmental Peace Alliance
26. Our Voice
27. Pisgah Legal Services
28. Swannanoa Christian Ministry,
29. Western NC Citizens for an End to Institutional Bigotry
33. ERA-NC Alliance
34. Pax Amigos
The UUCSV Board of Trustees met on April 22nd. The two main agenda items were the Canvass Update and a discussion about how to proceed slowly and safely with eventually reopening the church. Board President, Kathryn Coyle, sent an email message to the congregation regarding reopening.
I've always loved the phrase (ever since I first read it) from Mary Oliver, "Tell me, what is it that you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
It reminds me of a UU class that asked us what we believe and how we got to this place today…and the NPR recorded interviews "This I Believe." I looked for the class, and don't remember the title. But there are a lot of classes and workshops listed in the UUA organization at Tapestry of Faith. https://www.uua.org/re/tapestry
I was hoping some of our members would share for this issue of Tidings some of their path to UUCSV…which is why I asked if you have changed your beliefs since you were 25. Thanks to Helen Bell, who shared about her own philosophy. Here's a little about my own path in spiritual development.
I grew up a dedicated Christian Scientist, learning to pray rather than have drugs when I had pains of any kind. There was a bit of understanding about dental treatment, but I do remember as a youth trying to have fillings drilled without Novocain. I was glad that attitude became a bit relaxed by my parents. And I noticed my mother was wearing glasses, so I guess eye doctors were considered OK also. Their belief was that the same healing power that Jesus had to cure diseases and raise the dead, was available to them today. I left that religion by the time I was 20, when I began to believe that children being raised in this way may have suffered from a form of child abuse.
I joined the mainstream of youth of the 60s while infrequently attending a religious institution and believing more in personal inquiry, mystical practices, social justice, the feminist movement, medicine for physical pain, and science. My first UU experience was very much in line with these ideas, and I also enjoyed the socialization with like-minded people. At times in my adult life I've gone to other churches…quite frankly to have a more spiritual experience than the overly intellectual services I attended at some UU churches.
One philosopher (not a UU) who I studied was G. I. Gurjieff. I tried various study groups about his thoughts and even lived in a commune based on his teachings. I came away with a phrase that I continue to use, "Stay awake, pay attention." He also developed the theory of the Enneagram.
I also tried yoga ideas and practices. And Tai Chi. And various eastern healing traditions. Meditation. Herbal medicine. Environmental consciousness (Green.) Buddhism. Wicca. Having the physical and spiritual and mental aspects of a human being in a whole person made sense to me. I helped organize a Wholistic Healing Arts Festival with a group of young people, where many of the "alternative" healing practices were featured.
Then in the 1990s I found the Goddess, and the Divine Feminine, with thanks to the UU women's spirituality classes Cakes for the Queen of Heaven, and Rise Up and Call Her Name. It was about time this feminist found more about the ancient wisdom that existed in pre-Biblical times. And I'm now a happy pagan, with belief that all around me is holy, beautiful, and waiting for me to experience it. I've given back to several UU communities by teaching these classes and others that feature the Divine Feminine. I'm especially happy to take part in women's rituals where we can celebrate the equality and shared leadership that a feminine organization can demonstrate. I like being part of the UU community, where the open-minded and socially active people seem to congregate.
So I continue to want my life to reflect these beliefs, and to walk into an unknown future looking for friendship, shared creativity, justice, inspiration, laughter, music, and surprises.
What happens after the last date following the dash of my life? I have some thoughts, but they are for another topic. For now I enjoy just living on the dash of my life. 1942 - 20??
|Board of Trustees: |
Kathryn Coyle – President
Evan Yanik – Vice President
Anna Marcel de Hermanas
Non-board officers are:
Lee Reading – Treasurer
Milt Warden – Secretary
Building & Grounds - Rhea Bockhorst & Deb Evenchik co-chair
Social Action - Kate Ramsey
Finance - Lee Reading
Nominating - Evan Yanik
Congregational Care - Larry Pearlman
Membership - Heidi Blozan and Maggie Schlubach
Personnel – Linda Tatsapaugh/Kathryn Coyle (co-chairs)
Communications - open
Governance – Evan Yanik
Religious Education - Jessie Figuera, Jim Carillon, Heidi Blozan (rotating)
Sunday Service Associates - Diane Graham (rotating)
Strategic Planning Task Force - Michael Figuera
Memorial Garden - Dawn Wilson
Sunday Service Production:
Evan Yanik and Carolyn Shorkey, AV producers/editors
Annelinde Metzner, Choir director and piano, AV producer/editor of music