In this issue:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh what is more sweet than the month of June
When our senses thrill and our hearts keep tune
To the song of the birds and the rose in bloom?
 
Oh what is more joy than the early gray
Of the dewy morn and the sun’s first ray
That herald the dawn of a perfect day?
 
Oh what is more fair as the sun climbs high
Than the azure hue of the summer sky
And the snow-white clouds drifting idly by?
 
Oh what is more pure than the summer air
That wafts from the woodlands and gardens fair
A fragrance and perfume so rich and rare?
 
Oh what is more dear than the twilight hour
When the daylight fades and each nodding flower
Is kissed by the moonbeams’ mystic power?
 
O, Summer Queen! you are gone too soon
With your sunny days and your shining moon,
With your golden grain and your wealth of bloom.
 
And if we could hold in some magic way
To your trailing robes for a single day,
Dear month of June, we would bid you stay.
 
By Lottie Brown Allen
 

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It has been a long time coming that Carrie would find her way to us. For the last 25 years she had thoughts about living in Asheville. Intuition told her to start looking for a place to live on November 1st. On November 2nd she found a place to rent! This is amazing considering the housing crisis we are in. Her intuition was right.

 

She moved here on December 11, 2021 and we officially welcomed her at our New Member Recognition in May. The amazing stuff doesn’t stop there. She is closing on a house in a few days from when I write this. This woman is learning how to follow her intuition! 

After  finishing her Ph.D. from Ohio State University Carrie had a psychotherapy practice in Rochester, NY for 30 years before retiring a few years ago.  She was the first in the Rochester area to offer alternative approaches that included EMDR  (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Thought Field Therapy, and hypnosis.

 

Although Carrie may have retired she certainly didn’t stop growing, stretching herself and being curious. Carrie started playing pickleball when she moved to Black Mountain and likes to hike and kayak.  She hopes to facilitate journaling workshops here in the future and is interested in personality typographies such as the Enneagram and the Myers Briggs Personality Inventory.

 

Unitarian Universalism is familiar to Carrie; she was involved in UU Churches for 20 years in Rochester, NY and in Massachusetts. She was attracted to our sign that reads LOVE BEYOND BELIEF.  She wants to make deep connections in a caring community. Now we are the lucky ones - to have found Carrie.     Welcome Carrie!                                                         

By Heidi Blozan

After the church service and a potluck, Evan Yanik, Board President, called the meeting to order and read the church mission statement.  It was determined that there were 48 members present including those connected on Zoom video.  A quorum required 42 members, and it was determined that a quorum existed.

 

The first issue to be presented by Evan was the proposed church budget. (See below) Evan presented the budget and discussed changes to major items.  Plate income was much higher than expected in the current fiscal year, so the new budget expects that to continue.  Compensation for church employees was discussed separately since there were some changes for the upcoming fiscal year.  Once the discussion ended a vote was called.  The proposed church budget for the 2022-23 fiscal year passed unanimously.

 

The second agenda item was approval of new Board members.  Evan Yanik, Anna Marcel De Hermanas, and Barb Bryan are the departing Board members.  Evan presented a slate of Dan Hadley, Marti Salzman, and Larry Pearlman as the proposed new Board members.  Evan explained that Larry was also agreeing to be the church treasurer to replace Lee Reading who had served as the treasurer for 10 years.  Lee received a round of applause for his dedication and hard work over those years.  A vote was called and the slate of candidates was unanimously approved.  

 

Before Evan could end the meeting, the Board presented him with a gift wall hanging that read, “Life is a Garden, Dig It” which is the motto found on all his emails.  Evan received a round of applause from the congregation.

Lee Reading, retiring Treasurer

 

 

 

 

 

 

Most weekends, I write a letter. Yes, on paper. I affix a beautiful stamp and send it, then I have to wait. For it to arrive, and then for the possible, likely, but never guaranteed response. It's an act of letting go, trusting. I am committing my words to paper, with no control over how they are received by the addressee, and I am left hanging until a letter arrives back in my rural mailbox.

 

While it is probably hard to conceive by millennials, who grew up with instant, digital communication, letter-writing was still a custom during my childhood, adolescence and young adulthood. Receiving a personal letter in the mail has always been a thrill, even an ecstatic event if it was originated by a lover! We wrote postcards from our travels, and we put our thoughts and feelings onto the page and into an envelope if meeting up in person was not possible. I still enjoy sending (and receiving!) cards and letters, some of you have received them and written to me (thank you!). I've never stopped sending letters to my friends in Germany, almost thirty years of email has not ended our lovely, handmade exchanges. We add drawings, a clipping, a scent, glitter, small acts to make it special - it's a treat to open and receive these ephemeral treasures!

 

When was the last time you sent a letter in the mail? There is something energetically different about the tangible letter, as opposed to an email, something obvious that travels from the creator to the recipient. The touch, the feel, the scent, the ink. Oh, please, do not give up on sending part of your precious self, literally, through our beloved postal service! Letters are treasures. Each one I receive connects me to the sender and I keep them in a gorgeous, special box.

 

During my penpalships with incarcerated persons over many years, thoughts, emotions and events have been shared, one by one, with care and reflection, knowing there'd be days and weeks before a response. This wait is good, very good. It means incubation and marinating, sometimes clarification and disentanglement. Just by waiting, and by considering crafting the next letter. Connections are made without the weight of everyday busy-ness. For the person in prison, it may mean a neutral, unencumbered, inspiring thread to the outside world. Patience is required but that's nothing new. For when we wait while keeping a person in mind, our energy reaches beyond distance and walls and holds the other person in our awareness. So precious, this holding of space and presence.  Any of us could benefit from a fresh, neutral encounter with no expectation.

 

If engaging in a letter exchange resonates with you, and you are able and willing to send one letter a month, please consider a penpalship, connecting to an incarcerated person, via CLF UU's Prison Ministry's Pen Pal program. All that is required of you is your patience, kind attention, and a letter. You do not have to reveal your identity or contact information. CLF (Church of the Larger Fellowship) is a Unitarian Universalist congregation with no geographical boundary, comprised of thousands of people from all over the world. As a spiritual community rooted in profound love, they cultivate wonder, gratitude, and the courage to act, striving to carry the flame of liberal religion to all who yearn for its warmth and light.

 

 

To be listed in your birth month, just let the Tidings editor know by sending your info at any time to Tidings.uucsv@gmail.com.

 
    I feel safe in saying that all of us have suffered some manner of injury during our life. It may have been a skin abrasion following a skateboard mishap, a bruise caused by bumping into something (or some one) while watching something else, or, maybe it was a deep gash requiring a trip to the ER and a series of stitches to close the wound.  We have all experienced assaults on our physical body. And, we have learned that sometimes these injuries will heal on their own, heal with some minimal attention, or heal with professional attention and intervention.

    In this series I proposed that those suffering loss through death were automatically enrolled in the PhD of Life program–Pain, Healing and Discovery. Grief healing, similar to physical healing, may occur on its own, with some attention, or with professional intervention. Unlike physical injury however, most of us are neither prepared for nor skilled in promoting the healing process.  Watch any learning-to-walk child take her first fall. The shock shows immediately on the facial grimace. Then, the near-hysterical crying following by arms reaching for parental comfort. With experience, these bodily insults are soon brushed off, and we learn to get ourselves back on track.  With practice! With experience! With loving support! These are the conditions that help us learn that we will survive a myriad of physical injuries.

    Not so with grief.

    Some bereaved seem to roll with the punches while others become immobilized.  Grief healing depends on a vast array of physical, relational, emotional, social, and spiritual conditions and factors. Entire libraries have been written with advice about grief healing. I cannot begin to scratch the topic in a short essay like this.  But, there are three things we all should keep in mind whether experiencing grief or supporting grievers.

    First, grief is not one of those “insults” that will heal in a given time frame. Time is irrelevant to one who grieves. Those who suggest that six weeks, six months, a year, or even two years is enough to “heal” do not understand that the bereaved is emerging as a new person. All of life is about renewing ourselves – even those of us who have never experienced the death of a loved one are daily involved in re-learning ourselves in an ever-changing world. The bereaved are now engaged in that activity without the collaboration of their loved one. So, yes, tears will come two, three, five, twenty-five years following the death of a loved one.  We, as support providers, regardless of how close or casual our relationship, need to honor the griever’s own time.

    Next, grieving is a natural human response. What really makes it difficult is that it is a very complex human response. Even as an emotional reaction, grief is very complicated, involving sadness, fear, caution, annoyance, restlessness, anger, forgetfulness, yearning, shock, denial, aimlessness, neediness, misery, this list goes on for pages and pages! Not only will these feelings occur frequently, they will occur suddenly without any apparent reason. Hopefulness may be replaced instantly by hostility in an instant...just because the phone rang (even though you chose not to answer it). And, emotion is not the only way we respond to our loss.  Relationships with friends change. Our assumptions about life in general change. The reliability of our daily routines change. EVERYTHING changes! And, that is natural and expected.

    Finally, because we are social, we need to seek support in our grief. No one should ever think they can “make it on their own.” When friends avoid us because we’re still crying (one of the most frequently cited issues of grieving), it is time to look for others who can and will understand your grief. Grievers need relational support – if not from family or friends, then from others who understand the demands of grief (notice that I did not say “the grief process” because it is not procedural).

 

By Scott Traxler

Thank you to all who submitted their words for this month's Tidings. We have even put a few things aside to be included in future months.

For July we have a suggested topic of "Integrity."

 

Sincerely,

Barbara Rogers

 

Unitarian Universalist Congregation of the Swannanoa Valley

500 Montreat Road

Black Mountain, NC 28711

(828) 669-8050 (email preferred during pandemic)