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 Listening
and silence are powerful communication tools. It's common sense, but
often overlooked, as organizations and individuals spend millions of
dollars and countless hours sending messages, while they focus little
effort on improving listening skills.
Managers are so busy
unleashing a torrent of communications that they don't take the time to
listen to see if the messages are being received, to say nothing of
being understood.
Meanwhile, a lot of lip service is devoted to
listening, while many career coaches rank listening as the number one
job skill. We are apt to think we are listening when we are just
waiting for our turn to speak and concocting responses to what is being
said. As a result, 75 to 80 percent of our verbal communications are
distorted by our own filters. Waiting to speak is not necessarily
listening.
"The major reason why most people are poor
listeners is they so busy mentally planning a rebuttal that they miss
the other person's true message," according to Connie Dieken, president
of OnPoint Communications in Cleveland, Ohio.
Another reason
for breakdowns in communication is that listeners' minds function at a
faster speed than speakers can talk. Dieken advocates "staying" in the
moment "to prevent racing ahead and other mental tasks."
Listening
is not an easy task. It requires time, patience, energy and focus. It's
an art that has to be nurtured and practiced, just like we would a
speech," says Barbara Brannen, CEO of a Littleton, Colorado consultancy.
In
addition to "staying in the moment", listening skills include: blocking
out distraction and interruptions, maintaining eye contact, asking
relevant questions, and taking notes.
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If your
sense of peace and contentment comes from what you own, or what goals
and achievements you have created throughout your life, then it is time
to stop and take a look around you. We are human beings, not human
“doings” or human “havings”. Yet, despite existing as human beings, we
often let the art of “being” escape us. Think about the last time you
had “nothing to do”. How did you feel? Bored, restless, fidgety,
anxious, worried, or depressed? Many of us do feel this type of stress
when faced with spare time. We often fill this time however we can,
avoiding at all costs the anxiety of being present in the moment.
Living in the moment can feel tricky to master, because of the
discomfort that can arise when we push all our thoughts and worries to
the side. Here are some steps to living in the moment:
1. Spend
time alone every day. Spend it in meditation, or yoga, prayer or Tai
chi. Spend this time without “doing”, and without thinking. When
thoughts arise, simply release them, and let them go on their way.
Doing this will allow you to witness the frenzied behavior of the mind.
The pace of the mind so furious and fast, demanding that you strive to
take action to find happiness.
2. Find the simple things that
are around you, yet are striking in some way. The saying “stop and
smell the roses” reflects this simple joy. The simple things are easy
to find: birds singing from the trees, lightning flashing across the
sky, or the bright moon on a dark night. There are many joys around
you, you have only to look.
3. Be present in conversation.
Listen completely to each person, taking in all their words and
expressions. Many of us simply “wait to talk” or try to assume to know
the other person’s meaning. Listen without thinking about what you will
say or finishing sentences. Don’t anticipate another person’s words.
Listening is a rare skill these days. It takes practice, and is
enhanced considerably by having a quiet, still mind.
4. We are
told that we create everything in our life. Whether you believe that or
not, believe that you can alter your perspective. Start by accepting
what is, and not pining for what isn’t. What is happening right now in
your life is what is happening, and no amount of emotion will change
the present moment, only the future. Every moment has many
perspectives. There is opportunity in misfortune, and there can be joy
in the end of something. Sometimes, it may take effort, and
determination to see the silver lining – but it is there.
It is
difficult for most people to find stillness of the mind. To find
meaning in a single moment, free of the material constraints of our
current world, and free of the need for achieving, doing, and having,
then we have found a miracle within ourselves, and an entirely new
world of opportunities will begin to open as a result.
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Wellness is
about more than physical fitness, more than emotional well-being, more
than mental vibrancy. Wellness encompasses all of those things, and
more. Taking care of yourself means taking care of all your needs-
physically, emotionally, physically, spiritually, socially, and so on.
There have been numerous studies that show the impact of mental health
on physical health, and that's just the tip of the iceberg!
In
the past decade, we have seen a surge of enthusiasm for activities such
as yoga and tai chi. These are both physical and spiritual practices,
and benefit our mental and emotional selves as well. When we heal one
part of our self, the others are positively affected. This ties
directly into the body-mind-spirit modality that you may be aware of.
Unhappiness or ill health are just two of the areas that indicate an
imbalance in all three, and the reverse is true as well. Oftentimes,
the physical issues we experience are the result of emotional blocks in
our bodies.
What does this mean in action? It means making sure
that you attend to your needs appropriately and be willing to look at
larger causal issues when something does arise. It means treating you-
the whole you- rather than just the part of you that is sick, and
finding practitioners who will do the same. It means loving every part
of yourself and continually seeking out activities that help you heal,
grow, learn, and experience.
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In This Issue
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Contact Information
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Your Name
Phone
Website
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Importance of Hydration
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You
might think that the statement "water is the source of life" is an
overstatement, but if you take a closer look at your body's make-up and
function, you'll see just how true that is. As a human being, you are
seventy percent water. If you lose even two percent of that, your
body's ability to function and perform begins to drop off.
What
happens when you're dehydrated? Your brain won't work properly, you'll
have difficulty regulating your body temperature, your kidneys will
cease to function (which creates a build up of toxins and waste in your
body), you will eat more thinking that you feel hungry, your body will
not utilize stored fat, your skin will get dry and begin to sag, and
you'll begin to lose muscle tone. If you find yourself thirsty, then
you're already behind schedule on keeping yourself hydrated, so carry
water with you and drink it often!
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To Lease or Buy, That is The Question
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Time
for a new car? Deciding whether you want to lease or buy a car can be a
big decision. By asking yourself the following questions, you will be
able to determine what the best course of action will be for you:
--Do you have the money to make a down payment? (Buy)
--Are you the kind of person who likes to have a new car every two or three years? (Lease)
--Are you looking to build equity with your purchase? (Buy)
--Do you put a lot of mileage onto your car? (Buy)
--Are you looking for the lowest monthly payment possible? (Lease)
--Is avoiding major repair expenses a priority? (Lease)
--Do you want to make changes (stereo/tires/etc) to a new car? (Buy)
--Do your vehicles incur damage as a normal part of your life? (Buy)
--Do you want GAP insurance included? (Lease)
As
you can see, there is no easy answer to the question "should I lease or
buy a car?" Leasing and buying are options that allow you vastly
different benefits, and something that you can only decide for
yourself. If you are a real estate agent who loves nice cars, mainly
drives in the suburbs, and who can get a great tax break on the car
through leasing that you aren't able to get through buying, leasing is
a great option. If, on the other hand, you need a heavy-duty work
truck, you'll want to buy it, as all the scratches, dents, and dings
would come out of your pocket on a leased model.
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