www.personalpowerpress.com August 21, 2006
The Response-Able Parent Newsletter #55

Welcome! This is a free newsletter on becoming a Response-Able parent raising Response-Able children.

Mission Statement

Our mission is to strengthen families and improve parent communication skills (including our own) by helping parents learn practical, usable verbal strategies for raising responsible, caring, confident children.

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1. Quote
2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation
3. Bumper Sticker
4. More National Recognition
5. Article: Getting Your Children School Ready
6. Transformational Parenting Intensive
7. Humor
8. We Get E-mail
9. Did You Know?
10. Schedule of Events

1. Quote

"Every time we allow someone to move us with anger, we teach them to be angry."

Barry Neil Kaufman

2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation

Perhaps one of your main responsibilities as a parent is not to create a home free of problems and conflict but to model for your children how to deal with problems and conflict in a positive way that nourishes the spirit.

3. Bumper Sticker

Spotted on a white Chevy Tahoe in Orlando, Florida:

Friends are the family you choose.

4. More National Recognition

Yes, more national recognition is coming to Reese Haller, the youngest published fiction author in America. Martha Stewart has booked the author of the Fred the Mouse series for her national TV show! Details below.

Thursday, September 14, 2006
The Martha Stewart Show
NBC Affiliate

Reese will be appearing LIVE on September 14th as he is interviewed by Martha Stewart concerning his efforts to spread literacy throughout the world.



Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman

Back to school is in the air. Parents are currently being bombarded with back-to-school sales in magazines, newspapers, television ads, and store flyers. Whether you shop online or wait in line, advertisers suggest that their store or website has everything you could possibly need to get your child school ready.

Have you made your list yet? Most lists include: a book bag, pens, pencils, glue stick, spiral note pad, compass, calculator, 3-ring binder, gym shoes, and clothes. You may even have a lunch box on your list.

But are these things what your children really need in order to be ready for school? Perhaps getting your child school ready involves more that buying things. Maybe supplies are not what you need to supply for your children to get them off to a good start this school year. It just might be that the best getting-ready-for-school strategies you can employ are not found at the mall or your local department store.

Below are five suggestions for getting your children school ready. Do they need to be on your back-to-school list?

1. Start the school schedule early. Break the summer sleep-in/stay-up-late mode. Begin the morning and evening school routine at least two weeks before school actually starts. Don?t expect that your child will be able to make the adjustment to getting up for school quickly or easily without a break-in period. Take the full two weeks to work into the routine slowly by adjusting the bedtime and wakeup time a few minutes every day until the desired time is reached. Your goal is to have the schedule set prior to the first day of school.

2. Create a positive attitude about going back to school. Talk to your children about being able to see their friends, meet their new teacher, and all the opportunities that being at school provides. Focus on your child's area of interest and emphasize the ways in which school helps make it possible for her to pursue it. When your child speaks negatively, redirect him into the positive.

3. Visit the school. Reacquaint your child with the school. During the summer, classrooms change, teachers transfer to new buildings, principals are reassigned, and new playground equipment gets installed. Don't wait for orientation day to get reacquainted. Go to the school and play on the playground, meet the new principal or office personnel, talk to the janitor.

4. Set goals for the upcoming school year. Help your children create realistic expectations for themselves about school. Talk about what they want to accomplish this school year, not what you want them to accomplish. Remember, not all of school is about grades. Making new friends, speaking up in class, standing up for oneself, staying organized, and managing behavior are all crucial skills for a successful school year.

5. Model learning. Create a time in your home when everyone is involved in learning-related activities such as reading, playing with numbers, telling family stories, journaling, or quiet reflection. Turn off the television and video games and have a set time for the whole family to feed their brain. In fact, model learning year round, even through the summer months. This will set the stage for homework. A study time can be a logical extension of the learning time you have in your home.

Give your kids every opportunity to be ready for school this year. Head to the mall or department store with your list of needed items, and remember to add to your list the suggestions above. By doing so you will give your kids what they really need to begin this school year: structure, energy, enthusiasm, and a positive attitude.

Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman are the authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose. They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free monthly e-zine for parents. To sign up for it or obtain more information about how they can help you or your family, visit their website today: www.personalpowerpress.com.

The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose


6. Transformational Parenting Intensive

A powerful and life-changing TRANSFORMATIONAL PARENTING INTENSIVE is scheduled to take place in Santa Barbara, California, on September 29, 30, and October 1. Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller will be the featured speakers during this extraordinary weekend.

This INCREDIBLE event contains a ton of useful information.

Here are merely a handful of the important parenting strategies that will be revealed at this enlightening event and why you want to be a part of this powerful celebration. You'll get:

 Practical ideas you can put to use immediately . . . so you can be the parent you desire to be TODAY!

*   Proven verbal skill strategies . . . to eliminate whining, teasing, backtalk, and other irritating behaviors!

*   Helpful strategies for creating a culture of accountability in your family . . . so you can hold your children accountable without wounding their spirit.

*  An uplifting system for praising your children . . . so they develop a strong internal sense of self-esteem.

*  Techniques for making yourself dispensable . . . so you can help your children become more independent while eliminating learned helplessness.

Transform your parenting style, your family relationships, and your attitude toward the important and sacred role of parenting. Learn why children need soul models more than role models and the importance of holding children in a state of grace, even as you hold them accountable for their behaviors. Nourish children's spirits as you guide them through the daily challenges of becoming who they are destined to be. An entertaining and practical keynote address that will leave you glad you are present and full of anticipation for the remainder of the conference.


7. Humor

Jeremy's teacher paid a visit to his house one day. When Jeremy opened the door, the teacher asked, "Are your father and mother in?"

"They was in, but they is out now," he answered.

The teacher gasped, "Jeremy, where is your grammar?"

He replied, "She's upstairs taking her nap."

8. We Get E-mails

Hello Thomas and Chick,

I need some effective discipline that fits the "crime." I have a five year old who continues to make poor choices. Her eating habits are poor. Every time the family eats a meal, be it at home or out, her actions make mealtime a disaster. It's "I don't like this" or she takes two bites and it's "I'm full." All in a whiny tone. Or it's sour faces. I've tried setting a timer to no avail. I've pulled her food and sent her to get cleaned and off to bed. Nothing works.

In school, she doesn't follow directions or instructions. If her teacher has instructed her to not do something that she is doing, she disregards the warning and does it again.

Anytime the family goes on an outing or adventure, whether it's to a zoo or shopping, her choices land her in trouble. I have to tell her thousands of times to not touch things she need not touch. Or stop fighting or arguing with her brother.

I am married to a woman who has two children of her own. These problems have existed long before. My daughter has been rude, mean and bossy to my wife's youngest.

It seems my daughter only thinks when it's beneficial to her. Otherwise, she doesn't seem to care if she hurts people, in the process, to get what she wants.

I haven't found anything to help me fit a punishment to any of these actions. I can't find the right book that has the information I'm looking for. Please help.

Thank you for your time. Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated.

Struggling for a Discipline Answer


Dear Struggling,

You have included quite a bit in your e-mail and it would be possible to write book chapters on each separate issue. However, we will keep our reactions as brief as possible while still giving you some things to think about.

You asked if there is a good book that might help you with your concerns. We suggest you find a book on age-appropriate behavior for children, one that details information on ages and stages. Much (not all) of what you complain about is age- appropriate behavior for a five-year-old. Yes, it sounds like some of your daughter's behaviors are on the extreme side, but do not lose sight of the fact that they are age appropriate.

Of course she doesn't think of anyone else. That's what five- year-olds do. They are ego centered. That is what they are supposed to be doing at five. To think of someone else or put herself in someone else's shoes is not possible for her at this time. You might just as well be asking her to speak a foreign language. It is not possible at this age and stage of her life.

Picky eating, lack of table manners, and whining are other behaviors characteristic of this age child. Of course there are some things you can do about these behaviors, but the most important one is to not see your child as bad or abnormal. See her as a five- year- old who needs some help learning new behaviors.

All children have food preferences and things they don't like. You are jumping to punishment and control as a discipline tool too quickly. Instead, structure in more choices that include food preferences she likes. Give her an option if she hates what she is having. A peanut butter sandwich is nutritious. Structure the environment so that there is NO food between meals.

If she eats two bites and says she's full, tell her, "Okay, you can stop eating if you choose. And I want you to know that in 10 minutes we'll all be done eating. There will be no more food until breakfast. If you get hungry you will have to wait." She will get hungry and she will test you. Do not make her wrong. Do not make her bad. Do not tell her you told her so. Tell her you know she?s hungry, but there will be lots of good food at breakfast. She will whine and cry and test you. Do not cave in. Be empathetic and firm. Let her experience the consequence of her choice not to eat: hunger. Do not protect her from experiencing the consequence of her choice. No punishment for refusing to eat is necessary, just the natural consequence of being hungry. The cereal will taste great in the morning. Allow her to learn her own lesson.

None of the things she is doing are a crime, as you say. They are simply behaviors that need teaching and demonstration.

You might not want to hear this, but we'll say it anyway. If you keep doing what you have always done with this child, you will get what you have always gotten. You cannot change the child?s behavior. You can only change your own. Look at what you can change about how you are approaching her and handling these situations. Stay firm and consistent, with love and caring. Allow her to make choices and experience the natural consequences of her actions. Hold her accountable with an open heart.


Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman

9. Did You Know?

A.) The National PTA was once called the National Congress of Mothers. Today, nearly 1 million of the 6.5 million members are men.

B.) One in five children in America is born to a mother who did not complete high school.

C.) You can help your child learn to read by reading anything and everything. While in the car, ask your children to read road signs and billboards. Have them find products they want at the grocery store. These simple activities identifying road signs and learning to recognize the label of a cereal package are important beginning steps in learning how to read.

D.) From birth to kindergarten, a child who is read to 20 minutes a day absorbs 600 hours of structured language. This is a powerful way to help your children learn preliteracy skills that are invaluable when learning how to read.

E.) You can bring Thomas Haller to your school to do his exciting workshop, "Building Family Literacy." This practical and entertaining two-hour session will help parents who want their children to read and write at an early age. Call him today at 989-686-5356.

10. Schedule

Aug. 23 - Corunna, MI
1:10 pm - 1:55 pm, Teacher Talk presented by Chick Moorman, Corunna Public Schools, Corunna High School, Corunna, MI. For information contact Kari Selleck at 989-743-4151 or email kselleck@corunna.k12.mi.us.

Aug. 23 - Corunna, MI
2:00 pm - 3:00 pm, Developing a Culture of Care and Respect presented by Chick Moorman, Corunna Public Schools, Corunna High School, Corunna, MI. For information contact Kari Selleck at 989-743-4151 or email kselleck@corunna.k12.mi.us.

Aug. 30 - Chesaning, MI
12:30 am - 3:00 pm, Difference Makers presented by Chick Moorman, Chesaning Union Schools, Middle School Auditorium, Chesaning, MI. For information contact Kathy Steward at 989-845-7020 or email kstewart@chesaning.k12.mi.us.

Sept. 5 - Flint, MI
11:15 am - 2:15 pm, Celebrate the Spirit Whisperers presented by Chick Moorman, Kearsley Community Schools, High School Auditorium, Flint, MI. For information contact Marsha Davis at 810-591-7640 or email mdavis@mail.kearsley.k12.mi.us.

Sept. 5 - Lansing, MI
7:00 pm - 9:00 pm, Parent Talk II presented by Chick Moorman, St. Thomas Acquinas, Lansing, MI. For information contact Chris Janson at 517-332-8845 or email cjanson@stachurch.net.

Sept. 13 - Frankenmuth, MI
9:00 am - 10:30 am, Taking Care of Yourself While Taking Care of Others presented by Chick Moorman, Saginaw Co. Care Givers Support Network, Bavarian Inn, Frankenmuth, MI. For information contact Jackie Hepinstall at 989-797-7564 or email jhepinstall@saginawcounty.com. ?

Sept. 14 - New York City, NY
10:00 - 11:00 am EST, Interview with Reese Haller, The Martha Stewart Show, NBC Affiliate. For information contact Thomas Haller at 877-360-1477 or email thomas@thomashaller.com.

Sept. 28 - Santa Barbara, CA
6:30 pm - 8:30 pm, Teacher Talk presented by Chick Moorman, Montessori Center School, Santa Barbara, CA. For information contact Nica Guinn at 805-570-5194 or email nicaguinn@mac.com.

Sept. 29, 30 & Oct. 1 - Santa Barbara, CA
All Day, The Transformational Parenting Intensive presented by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller, Children of the New Earth, Mastery Life, SB Parent Talk, Montessori Center School, Santa Barbara, CA. For more information click on the link below or contact Chick Moorman at 1-877-360-1477 or email ipp57@aol.com.


Chick Moorman

Contact Chick at 1-877-360-1477 (toll free) or e-mail him at ipp57@aol.com.


Thomas Haller

Contact Thomas at?989-667-5654 or e-mail him at thomas@thomashaller.com.


Copyright 2006 Chick Moorman Seminars and Thomas Haller Seminars, all rights reserved. Share this with your circle.

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