Response-Able Parent Newsletter #63

April 26, 2007

Welcome! This is a free newsletter on becoming a Response-Able parent raising Response-Able children.

Mission Statement

Our mission is to strengthen families and improve parent communication skills (including our own) by helping parents learn practical, usable verbal strategies for raising responsible, caring, confident children.

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In This Issue

1. Quote
2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation
3. Bumper Sticker
4. Article: Spring Cleaning
5. We Get E-mail
6. Parent Talk Tip: Stop Think, and Listen

1. Quote

"If you start to think the problem is 'out there,' stop yourself. That thought is the problem."

Stephen Covey

2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation

What parenting confusion can you celebrate today? Admitting to confusion is the first step in moving past it.

3. Bumper Sticker

Spotted on a green Mercury Villager in Willowwick, OH:

Crawling Will Still Get You There.

4. Article: Spring Cleaning

Spring Cleaning for Parents

By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller

Rake the yard. Clean out the garage. Go through closets. Donate unused items to charitable organizations. Wash windows. You know the drill. It's called SPRING CLEANING.

But what if spring cleaning took on a new twist this year, one that would benefit your children greatly? What if you cleaned the cobwebs out of your mind? What if you wiped away all the limiting beliefs that keep you from becoming the parent you always wanted to be? What if you cleaned up a broken relationship, mended a mental fence, or reminded yourself about the importance of your role in your child's life? This spring might just be the ideal time for cleaning up your responsibility as a parent. Consider the ideas below.

Reawaken your curiosity. Clean out your present expectations and your knowing of why your children do things. Return to wonder. Be fascinated by what they do. Let yourself be awed. Allow your curiosity to bloom this spring.

Eliminate judgment. Judgment keeps you from seeing your children clearly. If you judge a child as lazy, you are less likely to see ambitious behavior. If you judge her as uncaring, you will have difficulty noticing her benevolent acts. Clean the lens in your eyes by reducing the number of judgments through which you perceive your children.

Be out of your mind. Use silent times to wash old and useless thoughts from your mind. Resist the urge to overanalyze parenting issues. Stop thinking and cluttering your mind with incessant chatter. Listen to your heart. Follow your intuition. Pick parenting strategies that have your heart in them.

Appreciate the moment. The best present to give your children is to be fully present when you are with them. Throw out thoughts about the future and the past when you interact with your children. There is only one moment to see, feel, express, learn, grow, or heal with your children. This is it. Pitch the rest.

Clean up your schedule. Every child in the world spells love, T-I-M-E. Adjust your priorities. Pick through your list of social and business activities. Get rid of old obligations and habits that prevent you from investing time with your children.

Apologize and begin again. Spring is the time of new beginnings. Do you need to begin again with one of your children? Do you need to make amends? If so, tell him or her what you learned and what you intend to do differently from now on. Then follow through.

Cut down on talking. Reduce your need to explain, lecture, moralize, rationalize, and convince. The first step towards love is to listen. Give your children the gift of your presence by hearing rather that telling, by acknowledging instead of convincing, by understanding rather that jumping to conclusions.

Rework truth. Cleanse your mind of the notion that there is ONE truth. You know your truth. Allow your children to find theirs. Model for your children how you live your truth. Support them in their efforts to find their own truth and encourage them to trust it.

Fix it up. What parenting concerns need to be fixed in your home? Do you need to fix a relationship, the use of the TV and the internet, or a reoccurring stress? Fix your mind first so you are tuned into fixing problems rather than fixing blame. Maintain a solution-seeking mindset as you fix it up this spring.

Give yourself a perception check. Remember, you can choose to see any parenting situation differently from the way you are presently seeing it. Perception is always a choice. Clean up your mind by asking yourself, "Is this way of seeing this problem the one that brings the most light and love to the situation?" Use springtime to enlighten your parenting perceptions and actions.

A thorough spring cleaning of your parenting style could make your home sparkle. It could be like a fresh coat of paint that brightens the exterior and the interior of yourself and your children. It might work like the cleansing combination of adding energy and love to a bucket of soap and water. Brighter, cleaner, healthier family relationships could well be the result of your spring cleaning this year.

Happy cleaning.

Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose. They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free monthly e-zine for parents. To sign up for it or to obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their website today:

The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose


5. We Get E-mail

Hello Mr. Moorman and Mr. Haller,

I am a big fan of your books and ideas, and I am hoping to facilitate a discussion group using your book, The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose.

I have to take a small exception though to a small thing. Letting balloons go into the environment is not a responsible thing to do!!!! I know it sounds silly, but we all have to get together here on the small things. Balloons land in the ocean and get eaten by wildlife, which then dies. I go kayaking at the Channel Islands and find literally hundreds of balloons on the shores. It is one of those small things that is easy to fix. Find a different way to release our worries than to kill a seal or turtle with them!


Heather King

Hello Heather,

Thank you for the reminder. We have changed the ritual you refer to on our website,, to the following:

Up in Flames

Write several parenting concerns that have troubled you recently on napkins. Also fill the napkins with parenting stressors?situations that you create stress around with your children (loud radios, poor table manners, etc.). Place the napkins in a fireplace or metal container. Say a prayer asking God to take your stress and concerns and handle them in a way that achieves the greatest good for all concerned. Communicate your desire to be free of stress. Take a few deep breaths. Light the napkins and watch your concerns and your stress go up in smoke. Watch as the smoke carries your problems away. Feel lighter after having let go of all that stress.


Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller

6. Parent Talk Tip: Stop, Think, and Listen

We've all done it. You hear yourself say something to your child and wish you hadn't. It feels like it just came out. You didn't think about it. You didn't say it on purpose. And there it was, rolling off your lips as though you said it with intentionality.

Maybe you heard the unwanted phrase growing up and now you sound like your parent. Perhaps you heard it from other adults and there it is, coming out of your own mouth as if you were the originator of the word combination.

Reining in loose lips is not always easy. It demands conscious attention to your thoughts and expectations. It requires a belief that parenting has more to do with controlling ourselves than it does with controlling our children.

Pay attention to what triggers you. Is it irritation, stress, sleep deprivation, hunger, whining, disowning responsibility, or excuse giving? Break the cycle by anticipating these situations. Take a deep breath, count to ten, say a silent prayer, or take a time out. Lose those loose lips before you say something you?ll regret. Stop, think, and listen.

Parent Talk: How to Talk to Your Childen in Language That Builds Self-Esteem and Encourages Responsibility


Chick Moorman

Contact Chick at 877-360-1477 (toll-free) or email him at


Thomas Haller

Contact Thomas at 989-686-5356 or e-mail him at


Back Issues

For back issues of this newsletter as well as back issues of our sister publication, The Response-Able Educator Newsletter, CLICK HERE.
Special Events

The Parent Talk System Facilitator Training

Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are combining their talents to train interested and committed participants in the Parent Talk System, a dynamic verbal skills training that helps parents
successfully handle their most challenging situations.

You will leave this training with enough materials, confidence, and skills to train parents in your community, church, school, or organization!

August 2-4, 2007
Spring Arbor University
Dearborn, MI
Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller

Space is limited. To register or find out about the August 2-4 program specifics, CLICK HERE.

Coaching for Committed Parents

We now offer personal parent coaching for committed parents on how to raise responsible, caring, confident children in enlightened and loving ways.

It is now possible to bring one of us, an experienced parenting coach, into your family life on a regular basis. This convenient telephone-based coaching can help you handle daily parenting frustrations and turn those real-world concerns into satisfying conclusions that bring joy and peace into your family.


Featured Product: An E-Course on Healthy Praise

Good Praise/Bad Praise: How to Praise Your Way to Creating an Emotionally Healthy Child by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller. Three weekly e-mail sessions ($12.95).

*   You will learn the three types of praise and be able to tell which ones help your child develop self-esteem, confidence, and an internal standard of excellence.

*   You will also learn how to recognize the most harmful type of praise--the one that builds praise junkies and teaches children to rely on the opinions of others for measures of their self-worth.

*   You will be exposed to examples, quizzes, and exercises that will help you develop a style of praise that is most difficult for your child to deny and has the greatest potential to transform him or her into a caring, confident, responsible youngster.

*   You will learn to praise in a way that will give your child verbal messages that she can use to develop a strong internal sense of self-esteem and worth so she can become her own source of encouragement, her own source of motivation, her own source of reward.

This e-course is skill-oriented, practical, and offers ideas you can put to use immediately with your family. It is divided into three sections that will be delivered to you at a rate of one a week. Each lesson will give you valuable information about praise, many examples of the skills being presented, and opportunities to apply the skills to your own life.


Approaching 10,000

We now have 9,387 subscribers to the Response-Able Parenting Newsletter. Our immediate goal is to reach 10,000.

To help us celebrate this milestone, the ten-thousandth subscriber will receive a $200 gift certificate from Personal Power Press. That certificate is redeemable for books, CDs, seminars, or any other combination of items listed on our website,

Please help us reach our goal. Send this newsletter to at least one friend or relative. Encourage them to sign up to receive this free and valuable collection of parenting tips on a regular basis. If they are the ten-thousandth subscriber, we will match their $200 gift certificate with one for you.


May 3 - Sterling Heights, MI
12:30 pm - 1:45 pm, Creating a Culture of Accountability in Your Family presented by Chick Moorman, Michigan PTSA, Sterling Inn Conference Center, Sterling Heights, MI. For information contact Sarah Davis at 517-622-4PTA or visit web site at

May 3 - Sterling Heights, MI
2:00 pm - 3:15 pm, The 5 Voices of Effective Parenting presented by Chick Moorman, Michigan PTSA, Sterling Inn Conference Center, Sterling Heights, MI. For information contact Sarah Davis at 517-622-4PTA or visit web site at

May 3 - 5 - Sterling Heights, MI
Transforming Aggression in Children, & How to Get Your Kids to Do Homework ? Without Having a Nervous Breakdown Yourself presented by Thomas Haller, Michigan PTSA 89th Annual Convention, Sterling Heights, MI

May 5 - Chamberlain, SD
All Day, Keynote and Concurrent Sessions presented by Chick Moorman, Family Child Care Professionals of South Dakota, Cedar Shore Resort, Chamberlain, SD. For information email Dawn Whal at

May 9 - Tacoma, WA
8:00 am - 4:00 pm, Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, Bureau of Educational Research (BER), Tacoma, WA. For information visit BER web site at or call 425-453-2121.

May 10 - Seattle, WA
8:00 am - 4:00 pm, Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, Bureau of Educational Research (BER), Seattle, WA. For information visit BER web site at or call 425-453-2121.

May 10 - Davison, MI
Catching the Writing Bug Literacy Day presented by Thomas Haller, Hill Elementary School, Davison, MI.

May 16 - Manchester, NH
8:00 am - 4:00 pm, Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, Bureau of Educational Research (BER), Manchester, NH. For information visit BER web site at or call 425-453-2121.

May 17 - Boston, MA
8:00 am - 4:00 pm, Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, Bureau of Educational Research (BER), Boston, MA. For information visit BER web site at or call 425-453-2121.

May 19 - Ann Arbor, MI
Parent Talk System Refresher (for trainers only), presented by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller, First United Methodist Church, Ann Arbor, MI.

May 21 - 25 - Cancun, Mexico
Parent Talk System Training and Transformational Parenting Workshops presented by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller, Cancun, Mexico.



Personal Power Press

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