Response-Able Parent Newsletter #68

October 16, 2007

Welcome! This is a free newsletter on becoming a Response-Able parent raising Response-Able children.

Mission Statement

Our mission is to strengthen families and improve parent communication skills (including our own) by helping parents learn practical, usable verbal strategies for raising responsible, caring, confident children.

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In This Issue

1. Quote
2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation
3. Bumper Sticker
4. Article: What Parents Can Do About School Violence
5. Free Books
6. Parent Talk Tip

1. Quote

"See everything. Overlook a great deal; correct a little."

Pope John XXIII

2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation

What if like attracts like? Are the vibrations you are sending out attracting positive, helping, caring people? Are you repelling those who are confident, responsible, nurturing? One way to find out is to notice who is in your life. Their attitudes may be sending you information on the vibrations you are emitting.

3. Bumper Sticker

Noticed on a green Ford Taurus in Lincoln, NE:

Honor Every Student

4. Article: What Parents Can Do About School Violence

By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller

The shootings continue. So do fights, arguments, pushing and shoving. We think we are sending our children off to a safe place when they get on the school bus in the morning. Then we hear more distressing school violence news on the television or radio.

So what's a parent to do? Can you really keep your child safe in this world? Can you make a difference in regard to school violence? We think you can. Consider the following.

Begin locally in your home and school. Implement the ten suggestions which follow.

  1. Stay involved in your child's social life. Know his or her friends. Have them over to your house frequently. Become familiar with what they talk about and how they think.

  2. Get involved in your child's school life. Get to know the teachers and other school staff. Monitor homework. Volunteer. Attend school functions. Be visible, so your child sees you frequently in school settings.

  3. Find the school discipline policies and review them. Discuss the polices and rationale with your child. Discuss how they are the same as or different from your family discipline procedures.

  4. Create structure around your child's television, video, and electronic game playing. Talk about why violent content is prohibited in your family. If you are not creating this structure, you are allowing advertisers and marketing executives to control your family values.

  5. Teach and model problem solving and conflict management strategies. Demonstrate how to accomplish goals without physical violence. Support school programs that teach staff and students about conflict resolution. If your child's school doesn't have such programs, ask why.

  6. Research the anti-bully programs in place at your child's school. Support those programs by creating dialog around them with your child. If there are none, your child's school has its head in the sand. Give them a swift kick in the portion of the anatomy that is showing. Some schools are so caught up in the craze to raise test scores that bullying and conflict resolution are pushed far into the background. Don't let this happen at your child's school. Make your feelings known.

  7. If you spank your children, stop. Learn parenting skills that enable you to refrain from teaching them that might makes right. Stop modeling that the way powerful people get what they want is through physical force inflicted on less powerful people.

  8. If you own a gun, get rid of it. If you are an avid NRA member, keep the weapon locked up and out of the sight of children. Weapons are not toys.

  9. Teach your child the difference between tattling and reporting. Children need to learn what to report and who to report to. For more information see our special report, Tattle Tales, at

  10. Use every incident that involves school violence, nationally or locally, as a springboard to discussion. Talk about the violence, the choices children make, and the other options that are available to them. Listen more than you talk. Pose hypothetical situations. Ask questions. If it's mentionable, it's manageable.

Of course, there is no guarantee that your child will not be a victim or a perpetrator of a violent act at school. But implementing the strategies above will lessen the chances that violence will occur at your child's school

Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman are the authors of The Only Three Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need: Essential Tools for Busy Parents. They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free monthly e-zine for parents. To sign up for it or to obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their website today:

The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose


5. Free Books

Want a FREE copy of the latest practical parenting book by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller? Here's how to do it. There are five ways to get a free copy of their recently published book, The Only Three Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need.

1.  Send us an e-mail telling us about a bumper sticker you saw in your community. If we use it in a newsletter, a free copy of The Only Three Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need will be on its way to you immediately.

2.  Arrange to have us present to your school, church, or community group. We will not only send you a free copy, we will bring 15 copies to be given away free to the first 15 families that show up.

3.  Tell us how you used one of the ONLY THREE strategies with your children. If we use it in a newsletter, you'll earn another copy to give away to a friend or relative.

4.  Send us an e-mail telling why you want to give a copy to someone in need. Briefly describe the situation and tell us why you picked them to get this helpful book. We will select one a month to distribute free of charge.

5.  Find a typo. We are invested in excellence in all our materials. If you discover a typo, misspelling, or grammatical error in any of our books, we want to know. If you are the first one to inform us of the error, you'll earn a free copy of our latest and increasingly popular book, The Only Three Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need.

Send entries or enquiries to


6. Parent Talk Tip: Come Here or Go There?

Are you a come here or a go there parent? Come here messages invite children into our lives and create connectedness. Go there messages send children away and result in a disconnect.

Go There Parent Talk             Come Here Parent Talk

Go brush your teeth.             Let's go brush teeth.

Get back in bed.                  Come here and tell me what's 

Go clean your room.              Show me your room.

Better leave or you'll be late.  Come here so I can give you a 

Go put a band-aid on it.         Let's find a band-aid.

Go to your rooms.                 Let's gather at the kitchen table 
                                         to talk
about this. 

How do you react to commonly occurring parenting situations? Do you build closeness with come here invitations? Or do you repel children and create distance with go there commands? 

Of course, children can brush their teeth alone, and you can strengthen the experience and your parent/child bond by doing it with your young children. At some point in their lives, your children will feel babied if you brush your teeth while they are brushing theirs. They will prefer to do it alone.

We're not suggesting you do everything with your child and never send a go there message. We are saying it is important to create a balance of go there and come here messages. If not, you could be missing wonderful opportunities to connect with your child.

Featured Product

Talk Sense To Yourself: The Language Of Personal Power

by Chick Moorman

Paperback book, 201 pages ($15.00)

One of the ten commitments we are asking parents to make to children in today's world is: I commit to learning and speaking self-responsible language. This book will tell you why and show you how.

The book contains a series of words, phrases and ways of speaking that will increase your sense of personal power. Talk Sense will help you structure your language patterns to put more choice and possibility in your life. You will become more self-confident, improve your self-esteem, and learn how to talk sense to yourself.

By learning and speaking with self-responsible language, you will model this important skill for your children.


Featured Workshop

The Only Three Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need

This seminar contains two hours of essential skill-based training for busy parents. In it you will learn:

* The One-Minute Behavior Modifier for eliminating whining, teasing, hitting, cussing, back talk, pouting, and other inappropriate behaviors.

* The Dynamic Discipline Equation to help you hold your children accountable for their actions and behaviors with love and consistency.

* The Positive Anger Explosion, a technique that will allow you to communicate annoyance, irritation, and frustration in a way that lets your child know that you are clearly angry, yet refrains from attacking character or wounding the spirit.

Bring this important and impactful session to your school, church or community this fall. Thomas Haller and/or Chick Moorman stand ready to schedule a date for your group now.

If you are one of the first ten organizations to schedule a seminar on this helpful topic, Thomas and Chick will bring 15 free books to be given away to the first 15 families who arrive (one per family).

Call today to make sure your date gets locked into our calendar. Some October and November dates are still available. Call 877-360-1477 or e-mail Thomas at or Chick at

Featured Training

The Parent Talk System
Training of Trainers

January 24 - 26, 2008
Spring Arbor University
1550 E. Beltline
SE Grand Rapids, MI



Oct. 24 -  Malibu, CA
Education in Residence presented by Chick Moorman, Crane Country Day School, Malibu Retreat Center, Malibu, CA. For information email Joel Weiss at

Oct. 27 - Mt. Pleasant, MI
Catching the Writing Bug Literacy Day presented by Thomas Haller, Make a Difference Day, Central Michigan University, Mt. Pleasant, MI.

Oct. 29 - Grand Rapids, MI
8:00 am - 3:30 pm, Spirit Whisperers and Responsibility presented by Chick Moorman, Stepping Stones Montessori, Grand Rapids Community College, Grand Rapids, MI. For information contact Mark Coleman at 616/451-8627 or email markcoleman

Oct. 29 - Grand Rapids, MI
7:00 pm - 9:00 pm, Parent Talk: Words That Empower, Words That Wound presented Chick Moorman, Matthew's Lutheran Church, 5125 Cascade Rd., SE, Grand Rapids, MI. For information contact Mark Coleman at 616-451-8627 or email markcoleman

Chick Moorman

Contact Chick at 877-360-1477 (toll-free) or e-mail him at


Thomas Haller

Contact Thomas at 989-686-5356 or e-mail him at




Personal Power Press
P.O. Box 547
Merrill, MI 48637

Copyright 2007 Chick Moorman Seminars and Thomas Haller Seminars, all rights reserved. Share this with your circle.

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