Response-Able Parent Newsletter #69

December 4, 2007

Welcome! This is a free newsletter on becoming a Response-Able parent raising Response-Able children.


Mission Statement

Our mission is to strengthen families and improve parent communication skills (including our own) by helping parents learn practical, usable verbal strategies for raising responsible, caring, confident children.

If you are unable to receive HTML format e-mails, please copy and paste the link below to view this newsletter.

http://www.mynewsletterbuilder.com/tools/view_newsletter.php?newsletter_id=1409629206


In This Issue

1. Quote

2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation
3. Bumper Sticker
4. Article: The Christmas Question
5. Parent Talk Tip


1. Quote

"I have found that the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it."

Harry S. Truman


2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation

What if it is true that whatever you focus on, whatever you concentrate on, wherever you place your energy increases? Are you increasing the things you wish to increase today?


3. Bumper Sticker

Noticed on a grey Ford Mustang in Oak Park, IL:

D.A.M.
Mothers Against Dyslexia


4. Article: The Christmas Question

By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller

What do the kids want for Christmas?

Where shall we celebrate Christmas?

How far shall we travel for Christmas?

Who shall we invite for Christmas?

How much money shall we spend this Christmas?

What food shall we cook for Christmas?

Many people are currently investing time and effort answering the questions above and scrambling to make sure those answers are implemented appropriately. It's as if the structure, direction, and quality of our Christmas depends on how we answer those questions.

But what if it isn't so? What if the Christmas we create for our family depends less on the answers we produce and more on making sure we ask the right question? What if the most important question isn't even on the list?

What if this year we asked a different question as Christmas approaches? What if we first asked: What do I want from Christmas? Wouldn't all the answers to the questions above change depending on what we want from Christmas?

How would you structure your holiday season if you decided you wanted family solidarity from Christmas? Would you create time to play a game together, listen to music together, bake cookies together, sit quietly together? Would you add more tradition, ritual, and bonding activities to the mix? Would you invite different people, spend your money in different ways, and prepare the food differently?

What if you wanted spirituality or peace from Christmas? How would you put the phrase, "Peace on earth, good will toward men," into your Christmas plans? Does the holiday season include a place where your family and friends can find a relaxing, peaceful environment? Is your home a place of meditation and calm reflection? Can your children be at peace in your home?

What if you decided what you wanted from Christmas was relaxation? Would you slow down and enjoy the moment? Would you abandon the frenzied effort to do it all? Would you jump from house to house making sure every relative or friend is included in your holiday visit? Or would you make holiday decisions based on a pace that works for you and your family?

What if you decided that appreciation was what you wanted from Christmas? Could you design activities to move your focus from lack of what you have to the plenty that already exists in your life? Can you help your family find joy in the fact that you are able to be together? Can you appreciate the opportunity to travel to visit relatives and embrace the meal you share? Would you give more thanks for what you have today, for who you are today, for the special blessing your children are today?

Maybe you want a closer relationship with Jesus, a reconnecting with your spouse, or a sense of tradition from Christmas. Whatever it is that you want, you can create it if you take the time to ask the right questions. Create the holiday season you long for by deciding now what you want from Christmas.

Happy holidays!

Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller are the authors of The Only Three Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need: Essential Tools for Busy Parents. They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free monthly e-zine for parents. To sign up for it or to obtain more information about how they can help you or your group meet your parenting needs, visit their website today: www.personalpowerpress.com.


The Only Three Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need: Essential Tools for Busy Parents

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE ONLY THREE DISCIPLINE STRATEGIES YOU WILL EVER NEED.

5. Parent Talk Tip

"You're not allowed to play with him anymore."

"I don't want you going over to his house again."

"You'll have to find different friends."

"She's not a good friend to have."

"You can't associate with him in the future."

These statements are examples of Parent Talk designed to control your child's friends. While this degree of control may be possible up to the age of eight or nine, it stops there. After fourth grade you lose the power to choose your child's friends. Why? Because at this time in your child's life it is no longer possible to enforce your desires concerning this issue. If you can't enforce a command it makes little sense to give it.

While you lose your ability to control your child's choice of friends at that age, you do not lose your ability to influence who they choose as friends. If you accept the fact that your child is choosing her own friends, which she actually is, and assume that posture as you talk with her, you can have a positive impact on her thinking and her choices by using well-constructed Parent Talk.

"I like the way your friend Ramone shares appreciation" and "William always helps pick up the messes you guys make" is Parent Talk that points your child to positive character traits in his friends. These kinds of comments help your child appreciate that you see the good side as well as the other side of some of his friends.

"Tell me what you like about Clarissa" and "What strengths do you see in Lynda?" are examples of Parent Talk that will help you understand the positives your child sees in her friends. Use a loving and interested tone as you pose these questions. If you fail to comprehend the strengths she sees, she will be less likely to take a serious look at the character traits you see.

"I hope some of your manners will rub off on him" and "Maybe your positive attitude can influence how he looks at the world" are comments that reinforce the strengths you see in your own child and a way to gently invite him to look at what you see in his friend. This kind of Parent Talk is designed to get your child to think rather that to instruct him what to do about his friend.

Other Parent Talk phrases that invite your child to think include:

"I wonder if Marie makes fun of you when you're not present."

"I'd be kind of worried about feeling pressured to drink if I was with her."

"Do you ever worry that people might think you feel the same way about Jews (blacks, Hispanics, Italians, women, Christians)?"

"Is it difficult for you to stick up for your other friends when he starts to bully?"

"Why do you think there is a difference in your study habits?"

Advice your children have not asked for will fall on deaf ears. Orders will hit a brick wall. Nonjudgmental information has a chance to get through and help your child think through an issue. Offer that information free of judgment, ridicule, or sarcasm and you may develop the influence you desire.

CLICK HERE TO ORDER THE PARENT TALK BOOK.

Something special is in the wind.

Here is a sample.

Trinity came bustling in the back door three minutes after she had left to catch the school bus.

"I forgot my book bag," she stated.

"Looks to me like you just remembered your book bag," her mother told her.

"Yes," Trinity repeated. "I just remembered my book bag."


To be continued . . .


Copyright

Copyright 2007 Chick Moorman Seminars and Thomas Haller Seminars, all rights reserved. Share this with your circle.

Featured Product

Parenting with Purpose Through the Holidays

by Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman

E-book ($9.95)

This exciting e-book is filled with inspirational and practical ideas to make this your best family holiday season ever. It includes information about how to build meaningful family traditions that extend your values and suggests ways to connect with your spouse and children from a heartfelt space. It also provides a wealth of fun-filled learning activities for your children that will keep them occupied and interested during the holidays. Only available via the Internet. Read it on your computer or print a copy for use later.


CLICK HERE TO ORDER.

Featured Workshop

The Only Three Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need

This seminar contains two hours of essential skill-based training for busy parents. In it you will learn:

* The One-Minute Behavior Modifier for eliminating whining, teasing, hitting, cussing, back talk, pouting, and other inappropriate behaviors.

* The Dynamic Discipline Equation to help you hold your children accountable for their actions and behaviors with love and consistency.

* The Positive Anger Explosion, a technique that will allow you to communicate annoyance, irritation, and frustration in a way that lets your child know that you are clearly angry, yet refrains from attacking character or wounding the spirit.

Bring this important and impactful session to your school, church or community this fall. Thomas Haller and/or Chick Moorman stand ready to schedule a date for your group now.

If you are one of the first ten organizations to schedule a seminar on this helpful topic, Thomas and Chick will bring 15 free books to be given away to the first 15 families who arrive (one per family).

Call today to make sure your date gets locked into our calendar. Some December and January dates are still available. Call 877-360-1477 or e-mail Thomas at
thomas@thomashaller.com or Chick at ipp57@aol.com.



Featured Training

The Parent Talk System
Training of Trainers

January 24 - 26, 2008
Spring Arbor University
1550 E. Beltline
SE Grand Rapids, MI


CLICK HERE TO REGISTER.

Schedule
Dec. 10 - Atlanta, GA
Motivating the Unmotivated: Practical Strategies for Teaching the Hard-to-Reach Students presented by Chick Moorman, Atlanta, Georgia, Bureau of Educational Research. For information call 1-800-735-3503 or check their website at
http://www.ber.org/.

Dec. 11 - St. Louis MO
Motivating the Unmotivated: Practical Strategies for Teaching the Hard-to-Reach Students presented by Chick Moorman, St. Louis, Missouri, Bureau of Educational Research. For information call 1-800-735-3503 or check their website at
http://www.ber.org/.

Dec. 12 - Minneapolis, MN
Motivating the Unmotivated: Practical Strategies for Teaching the Hard-to-Reach Students presented by Chick Moorman, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Bureau of Educational Research. For information call 1-800-735-3503 or check their website at
http://www.ber.org/.

Dec. 13 - Salt Lake City, UT
Motivating the Unmotivated: Practical Strategies for Teaching the Hard-to-Reach Students presented by Chick Moorman, Salt Lake City, Utah, Bureau of Educational Research. For information call 1-800-735-3503 or check their website at
http://www.ber.org/.

Dec. 17 - Rochester, NY
Motivating the Unmotivated: Practical Strategies for Teaching the Hard-to-Reach Students presented by Chick Moorman, Rochester, New York, Bureau of Educational Research. For information call 1-800-735-3503 or check their website at
http://www.ber.org/.

Dec. 18 - Cherry Hill, NJ
Motivating the Unmotivated: Practical Strategies for Teaching the Hard-to-Reach Students presented by Chick Moorman, Cherry Hill, New Jersey, Bureau of Educational Research. For information call 1-800-735-3503 or check their website at
http://www.ber.org/.

Dec. 19 - Hartford, CT
Motivating the Unmotivated: Practical Strategies for Teaching the Hard-to-Reach Students presented by Chick Moorman, Hartford, Connecticut, Bureau of Educational Research. For information call 1-800-735-3503 or check their website at
http://www.ber.org/.

Dec. 20 - Providence, RI
Motivating the Unmotivated: Practical Strategies for Teaching the Hard-to-Reach Students presented by Chick Moorman, Providence, Rhode Island, Bureau of Educational Research. For information call 1-800-735-3503 or check their website at
http://www.ber.org/.


Chick Moorman

Contact Chick at 877-360-1477 (toll-free) or e-mail him at ipp57@aol.com.


CLICK HERE TO VISIT CHICK'S WEBSITE.

Thomas Haller

Contact Thomas at 989-686-5356 or e-mail him at thomas@thomashaller.com.


CLICK HERE TO VISIT THOMAS' WEBSITE.

Links

Contact

Personal Power Press
P.O. Box 547
Merrill, MI 48637
1-877-360-1477
_____________________________


• • • •

Subscribe Unsubscribe Preferences Send to a Friend
Powered by Mynewsletter Builder  
A member of The ByRegion Network  

report spam