Response-Able Parent Newsletter #79

December 4, 2008

Welcome! This is a free newsletter on becoming a Response-Able parent raising Response-Able children.


Mission Statement

Our mission is to strengthen families and improve parent communication skills (including our own) by helping parents learn practical, usable verbal strategies for raising responsible, caring, confident children.

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In This Issue

1.  Quote

2.  Spirit Whisperer Contemplation
3.  Bumper Sticker
4.  Article: Give Presence, Not Presents
5.  Parent Talk Tip
6.  Schedule


1. Quote

"Who is getting more pleasure from this rocking, the baby or me?"

 

Nancy Thayer


2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation

What if you stopped trying to change things today and just let what is be?


3. Bumper Sticker

Noticed on a green Ford Monterey minivan in Buffalo, NY:

 

Oh my gosh…

My MOTHER was right

About EVERYTHING!


4. Article: Give Presence, Not Presents

By Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman

 

The holiday season is fast approaching and many parents are concerned about the family financial situation and the money problems they may be experiencing. As if rising food prices, stock market instability, and skyrocketing health care costs weren't enough, parents now have the added concern of finding available money to put a few presents under the Christmas tree or share a gift during the family's Hanukkah celebrations.

 

The giving of gifts during the holiday season is an honored tradition in most homes. Many parents are wondering what they will give this year as they tighten the money belt and attempt to weather the financial storm through the holidays.

 

Perhaps the answer lies in the gifts that are given. Give children what they really want from their parents: presence, not presents. All children spell love T-I-M-E. What we can give to them is our attention, our availability, our mindfulness, our closeness, and our time.

 

Are you being fully present with your children? Can you let go of your worry about money and the giving of gifts? Can you suspend your agenda to focus on theirs? Can you learn to be there for and with your children?

 

Consider the following suggestions as a way to give the most important present this holiday season, your presence.

 

  1. Be there regardless of what you are doing. The holiday season requires an added measure of balancing kids' schedules, visiting family, and cooking elaborate meals as well as keeping up the regular requirements of work, laundry, cleaning, everyday cooking, etc. When feeling pulled in several directions, many parents turn to multitasking. We're suggesting that you avoid the urge to multitask and strive to stay focused on the moment at hand. When you sit with your children, whether it’s to play a game or read a book, give them your undivided attention.
     
  2. Make a "be" choice. How you choose to "be" affects whatever you choose to do. When you are with your children, choose to be interested in what they are interested in. Choose to be happy that you have the time to focus on their needs and wants. Choose to be excited about the time you have with them. Even when misbehavior occurs in your children, choose to be glad that you have the opportunity to help them learn a new behavior or a new way to communicate a desire or express a feeling.
     
  3. Focus on listening rather than telling. Children spend a great portion of their day following directions: pick up your clothes, make your bed, sit down, be quiet, go play, chew with your mouth closed, stop picking on your brother, hang up your coat, brush your teeth. The list of commands seems unending. Remember, children have valuable things to say too. Many times parents get so focused on telling that they forget to listen. Value your children's opinion. Allow opportunities to vent. Embrace their point of view. Invite suggestions. Listen to their voice.
     
  4. Connect physically. Touch is a powerful way to communicate "I love you." Get close and touch your children’s heart with a warm embrace or a gentle squeeze of the shoulder. Snuggle under a blanket and read together. Go for a walk and lock hands. Wrestle on the living room floor. Dispense hugs, smiles, winks and an occasional high five. 
     
  5. Connect emotionally. Feelings are always more important than things. Create an environment where it is safe to be emotional. Encourage the expression of feelings. Allow your feelings to extend to your children as you share traditions, reflect on holidays past, and gather as a family. Demonstrate empathy, compassion and understanding. 
     
  6. Unplug from the electronic world. The television, computer, video games, and iPods have the potential to create a disconnect from personal interaction. Unplug, turn it off, and walk away. While riding in the car, unplug the headphones, turn off the DVD player, and tell your children a story about the day they were born or relate a favorite holiday memory. Shut down the computer, turn off the x-box, and play a game of chess, checkers, or monopoly together. Stand up, walk away from the TV, and go shoot baskets, skip rope, or ride bikes with your child.
     
  7. Play by the kids' rules. Play with your children at their level. Make mud pies, jump in rain puddles, roll down a hill, spray shaving cream on the kitchen table and join in the creation of artistic designs. Cover the driveway in sidewalk chalk. Let your children take the lead and change the rules of a game if they want. Know that play, no matter how childish or silly it may appear, is an investment in connecting with your children. Play regularly, and remember that the reason for play is to play, not to win.

Make a commitment this holiday season to give the best gift you can give by being present in your child’s life. Be active and interactive on a daily basis with your children. Be the parent you were called to be. Give your presence. 

Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman are the authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose. They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free monthly e-zine for parents. To sign up for it or learn how to transform your parenting style, visit their website today: www.personalpowerpress.com


The 10 Commitments: Parenting With Purpose

CLICK HERE TO ORDER THE 10 COMMITMENTS.

5. Parent Talk Tip

Feeling stressed this holiday season? Is anger, frustration, or irritation creeping into your language patterns? Are you hearing a divisive tone? If so, before you speak, think of toothpaste.
 
Communicating with your children is like using a tube of toothpaste. You have to squeeze slowly and thoughtfully with your words for one important reason. Once the toothpaste or your words are out, it's impossible to put them back in.
 
Before you communicate anger, reprimand your child, or speak from frustration, think "toothpaste." Show your beautiful toothpaste smile instead. Refuse to say something you wish you hadn't. Making amends or taking it back is much more difficult than rapidly pushing it out.


6. Schedule

Dec. 8 - Milwaukee, WI 

Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.

 

Dec. 9 - Appleton, WI 

Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.

 

Dec. 10 - Madison, WI

Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.

 

Dec. 11 - Minneapolis, MN

Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.

 

Dec. 12 - Fargo, ND

Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.

 

Dec. 15 - Vancouver, BC, Canada

Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.

 

Dec.  15 – Okemos, MI

Catching the Writing Bug Literacy Day presented by Thomas and Reese Haller, Hiawatha Elementary School, Okemos, MI

 

Dec. 15 - Mason, MI

P.M. Catching the Writing Bug Literacy Day presented by Thomas and Reese Haller, Alaiedon Elementary, Mason, MI

 

Dec.  5 – Howell, MI

Catching the Writing Bug Literacy Day presented by Thomas and Reese Haller, Voyager Elementary, Howell, MI

 

Dec. 16 - Calgary, AB, Canada

Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.

 

Dec. 17 - Edmonton, AB, Canada

Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org

 

Dec. 18 - Winnipeg, MB, Canada

Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or www.ber.org.


Copyright

Copyright 2008 Chick Moorman Seminars and Thomas Haller Seminars, all rights reserved. Share this with your circle.

Featured Video Clip Opportunity

The Christmas Question

 

See Thomas Haller live in a three-minute video clip explaining how you might be asking the wrong question this Christmas.

 

"What do you want for Christmas?" is the question most often asked at this time of year. Yet, according to Thomas Haller, changing one word in that question will dramatically alter how you approach this holiday season. Click on the link below and invest three minutes to learn the one word that could help your family have their best Christmas season ever!

 

As the chief parenting correspondent for NBC 25, Thomas regularly records parenting tips, helpful reminders, and insightful perceptions. View more essential parenting tips at www.thomashaller.com. 

 

To view this significant video clip, click here: The Christmas Question

 



Featured Product

Parenting with Purpose through the Holidays by Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman


e-book ($9.95)


This exciting e-book is filled with inspirational and practical ideas on how to make this your best family holiday season ever. It includes tips on how to build meaningful family traditions that extend your values, ways to connect with your spouse and children from a heartfelt space, and fun-filled learning activities for your children that keep them occupied and interested during the holidays. Only available via the Internet. Read it on your computer or print a copy for use later.


This e-book is a necessity for parents wishing to create a peaceful, memorable holiday season.


CLICK HERE TO ORDER.

Training of Trainers

The Parent Talk System Facilitator Training

This is a three-day skill-based training that helps local facilitators teach parents how to raise responsible children. It includes techniques to assist parents in learning communication strategies that build love and trust within their families. Participants learn invaluable training strategies that allow them to teach the Parent Talk System with expertise and confidence. Ongoing technical assistance is provided to all graduates.

The facilitator training is designed to prepare local trainers to skillfully present the Parent Talk System to parents in their communities. Promotional and publicity guidance will be provided to encourage increased attendance. Materials included with the training are: a facilitator’s manual, transparencies, parent workbooks, DVDs, forms, logos, advertisements, sample letters, and the hardcover Parent Talk book.

Do something extraordinary for the children and parents in your community! Take a giant step toward helping others parent like no one else so their children can grow up to be like no one else. Join us at the following training for an experience of a lifetime.

Dearborn, MI
July 30 - Aug. 1                      

·         Download the Dearborn, MI 2009 workshop brochure

·         Click here for more information and the Parent Talk System brochure

·         Click here to register online 



Media Alert!

If you missed Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller being interviewed by Oprah & Friends host Jean Chatzky on XM or Sirius satellite radio, you still can hear this informative show. Jean Chatzky, who regularly gives tips and life-changing advice on how to handle money, discusses How to Talk to Your Kids about Money with Chick and Thomas.

 

Originally aired on December 3, 2008, this timely show is now archived so everyone with a computer can listen. Simply CLICK HERE to listen. You will learn…

 

  • How to explain the loss of a job or having less money to spend to children
  • How much to tell kids about your current financial situation
  • Why some kids are spenders and others are savers
  • How to help children learn the charity habit 


Chick Moorman

Contact Chick at 877-360-1477 (toll-free) or e-mail him at ipp57@aol.com.


CLICK HERE TO VISIT CHICK'S WEBSITE.

Thomas Haller

Contact Thomas at 989-686-5356 or e-mail him at thomas@thomashaller.com.


CLICK HERE TO VISIT THOMAS' WEBSITE.

Links

Contact

Personal Power Press
P.O. Box 547
Merrill, MI 48637
1-877-360-1477

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