Response-Able Parent Newsletter #82

April 11, 2009

Welcome! This is a free newsletter on becoming a Response-Able parent raising Response-Able children.

Mission Statement

Our mission is to strengthen families and improve parent communication skills (including our own) by helping parents learn practical, usable verbal strategies for raising responsible, caring, confident children.

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In This Issue

1.  Quote

2.  Spirit Whisperer Contemplation
3.  Bumper Sticker
4.  Article: Questions and Answers
5.  Parent Talk Tip

1. Quote

"Those who have children can become masters of patience, endurance, and steadfastness, because children will test you at every turn . . . The way to make our children patient and loving is to be that way ourselves."

Eknath Easwaran

2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation

What if the gift you hold for your child today is your receiving? How would you give that gift? How would it look? What form would it take? Can you give your receiving with grace and appreciation?

3. Bumper Sticker

Spotted on a green Pontiac Sunfire in Syracuse, NY:



a lot of people doing what I say.


Hopefully, the person that posted this bumper sticker was making a poor attempt at humor. If not, why not just make a sign that says, "I am a bully at my house"?

4. Article: Questions and Answers

by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller


"Why don't my children listen to me?"


"Why doesn't he behave?"


"What's the matter with her?"


"Why does she keep doing that?"


Parents frequently ask us these questions and others like them at workshops, in e-mails, and on our radio programs. We have even asked some of the same questions ourselves when we parented our own children.


On one hand, these questions appear to beg for an answer. On the other hand, perhaps they arise to point us in a different direction—toward asking different questions. Maybe these questions serve to remind us that asking the right question is more important than coming up with a good answer to the wrong question.


Do this: The next time you hear yourself asking, or notice yourself thinking, a question similar to the ones above, consider changing your question. Perhaps one of the following questions might work better instead.


"Am I concentrating on what I am doing or on how I am doing it?"

"Do I prefer to be right or to be happy?"

"Is my experience determining my internal state, or is my internal state determining my experience?"

"How can I see this differently?"

"What would love do now?"

"Am I looking within or without?"

"Am I focusing on darkness or on light?"

"Am I choosing to love or to fear?"

"Do I desire to change them or to change me?"

"Am I listening to my ego or to who I really am?"

"What is the opportunity here?"

"Am I fighting the world that is or creating the world that could be?"

"Am I seeing through the eyes of God or through the eyes of my ego?"

"Am I looking for what is right or for what is wrong?"

"Do I see innocence or guilt?"

"Am I focused on someone else’s lesson here or on my own?"

"Am I asking, 'What can I get?' or 'What can I give?'"

"Am I hiding or revealing myself in this situation?"

"Is my agenda really about them or is it about me?"

"Is my forthcoming move going to be controlling or will it be releasing?"

"Am I remembering who I really am here?"

"Who do I want to be in this situation?"

"Am I focused on listening or on telling?"

"What am I resisting here?"

"What am I defending here?"

"What am I not forgiving here?"

"What am I blessing here?"

"Am I seeing the body or the spirit?"


The next time you find yourself pondering the question, "Why is my child doing that?" become an uncommon parent by questioning your question. Substitute one of these suggested questions instead. Our guess is that you will begin to see the original question in a different light. Create the perspective and experience you really want. Enjoy your reaction.



Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman are the coauthors of Teaching the Attraction Principle to Children: Practical Strategies for Parents and Teachers to Help Children Manifest a Better World. They are two of the world's foremost authorities on raising responsible, caring, confident children. They publish a free monthly e-zine for educators and another for parents. To sign up for them or to learn more about the seminars they offer teachers and parents, visit their websites today: and

Teaching the Attraction Principle to Children


5. Parent Talk Tip: "I wonder . . ."

One helpful alternative to, "You should have . . . ," is "I wonder . . . ?"

  • Instead of saying, "You should have told her," say, "I wonder what would have happened if you had told her?" 
  • Replace, "You shouldn't have said that," with, "I wonder how he would have reacted if you had said it this way?" 
  • "I wonder what you have learned from this?" is more effective than "I hope you learned a lesson here." 
  • "I wonder if these words would have sounded kinder?" 
  • "I wonder what choice you will make next time?"

We wonder if you will find meaning in using "I wonder" with your children?



Copyright 2009 Chick Moorman Seminars and Thomas Haller Seminars, all rights reserved. Share this with your circle.

Featured Video Clip Opportunity

How to Get Kids to Do Homework


See Thomas Haller live in a three-minute video clip explaining how you can structure a successful homework environment in your home. Listen to Thomas in this video clip and learn about setting up a "feed your brain" time for your entire family.


As the chief parenting correspondent for NBC 25, Thomas regularly records parenting tips, helpful reminders, and insightful perceptions. View more essential parenting tips at


To view this significant video clip, click here: How to Get Kids to Do Homework

The Uncommon Parenting Blog

Do you really want to raise responsible, caring, conscious children? To do so will require that you make a radical departure from the parenting consciousness that currently exists on the planet. You will have to become an UNCOMMON PARENT.


To find out more about the Uncommon Parent and how to parent like no one else so your children can grow up to be like no one else, subscribe to our new blog at


Recent Blog Posts

New blogs added every week at

The Parent Talk System Facilitator Training

Want to make a difference in the lives of parents and children in your community?

If so, consider this three-day skill-based training that helps local facilitators teach parents how to raise responsible children. This incredible training will help you assist parents to learn communication strategies to build love and trust within their families. You will learn training strategies that allow you to teach the Parent Talk System with expertise and confidence. Ongoing technical assistance provided to all graduates.

Two training opportunities are now accepting registrations.


Augusta, KS

June 4 - 6, 2009
Mid Kansas Community Action Program, Inc.
730 Cliff Drive

Dearborn, MI

July 30 – Aug. 1, 2009
Spring Arbor University
19855 West Outer Drive
Suite 300 E

Download the Dearborn, MI 2009 workshop brochure.


April 17 - Farmington Hills, MI

Catching the Writing Bug Literacy Day presented by Thomas and Reese Haller, Forest Creek Elementary School, Farmington Hills, MI


April 20 - Detroit, MI

Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or


April 21 - Cleveland, OH

Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or


April 22 - Akron, OH

Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or


April 23 - Columbus, OH

Motivating the Unmotivated by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or


April 24 - Cincinnati, OH

Motivating the Unmotivated presented by Chick Moorman, 8:00 am – 4:00 pm. Contact Bureau of Education & Research (BER) at 1-800-735-3503 or

Chick Moorman

Contact Chick at 877-360-1477 (toll-free) or e-mail him at


Thomas Haller

Contact Thomas at 989-686-5356 or e-mail him at




Personal Power Press
P.O. Box 547
Merrill, MI 48637


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