Response-Able Parent Newsletter #84

June 7, 2009

Welcome! This is a free newsletter on becoming a Response-Able parent raising Response-Able children.


Mission Statement

Our mission is to strengthen families and improve parent communication skills (including our own) by helping parents learn practical, usable verbal strategies for raising responsible, caring, confident children.


In This Issue

1.  Quote
2.  Spirit Whisperer Contemplation
3.  Bumper Sticker
4.  Article: Fantastic Fathers: The Seven Traits of a Great Dad
5.  Blogitus


1. Quote

"The belief that relationship equals pain is entirely learned, and proceeds not from inner truth, but external influence from a world that has forgotten how to live and love."

Alan Cohen


2. Spirit Whisperer Contemplation

What if it is only your own weakness that allows you to perceive your child's weakness? What is seeing your child's weakness trying to say to you about your own weakness?


3. Bumper Sticker

Noticed on a white Dodge Grand Caravan in Honolulu, HI:
 
DEJA MOO
The feeling you've heard this bull before.


4. Article: Fantastic Fathers: The Seven Traits of a Great Dad

Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman
 
The month of June ushers in a time of recognition when many families around the world honor fathers for the active role they play in their children's lives. This month families from the United States, Canada and most of Europe celebrate Father's Day. In Australia and New Zealand this special day of recognition takes place in September but is celebrated in much the same way as in the United States. No matter where or when it is celebrated, Father's Day is an opportunity to thank dads and pay
tribute to them.
 
Many fathers around the world are experiencing the joy and excitement of playing an integral part in child rearing. As these fathers increase their involvement with parenting, a dramatic effect in the parent-child relationship takes place. The invaluable role played by fathers helps to build character, model respect and demonstrate integrity for the children they touch. Fathers indeed change the world one child at a time.
 
When fathers embrace their role and make a commitment to parent like no one else, their children grow up to be like no one else. We affectionately refer to these men as "fantastic fathers." Fantastic fathers leave clues to their success. They demonstrate a series of traits that can be found in fathers worldwide. Listed below are seven common traits found in fathers committed to raising responsible children with grace, dignity and love. Use the list as encouragement and direction in your sacred role of fatherhood.
 
1.    Fantastic fathers are effective role models. Fathers, what if your life IS the message? What if how you choose to live your life is the central learning that your children have come to earth to discover? What if the lessons you design, the tips you impart, the learning experiences you arrange, the lectures you deliver, the advice you share, the words of wisdom you speak to your children do not have as much impact on them as the way you live? Fantastic fathers know that they are the message and live that way.
 
2.    Fantastic fathers use self-responsible language. Self-responsible language consists of words and phrases that reveal an acceptance of responsibility for one's actions and feelings, show ownership for results,  and make choices conscious. Fathers who use self-responsible language remove from their vocabulary words and phrases that point to others as the cause of their choices and behavior. They take responsibility for what shows up in their lives and use language that reflects an acceptance of that responsibility.
 
3.    Fantastic fathers teach solution seeking. Do you help your children learn and use a problem-solving process? Do you take the time to help your children come to their own conclusion, or are you more likely to provide one for them? Will you let them struggle with an issue and encourage them to stay focused on the process of discovering answers? Fantastic fathers regularly search for solutions and teach their children how to do the same.
 
4.    Fantastic fathers help children develop an inner authority. Do you provide the support necessary for your children to test their wings? Are you helping them feel secure while they test the waters of real life without you? Fathers who parent like no other encourage their children to trust their own intuition and to listen to the voice within.
 
5.    Fantastic fathers enable children to have a voice. Discovering and learning how to speak up and use their own voice is a lifelong process for children. Fantastic fathers help their children gain skills and confidence when speaking up for themselves. They encourage their children to question unclear answers, challenge false statements and speak out in the face of injustice. They teach their children how to use words to become an empowered, confident, self-responsible youngster.
 
6.    Fantastic fathers suspend judgment. Children make mistakes. They make mistakes learning to walk. They make mistakes learning to talk. They make mistakes with their homework. They make mistakes with relationships. And they make mistakes in responsibility. To suspend judgment means to assign no positive or negative value to mistakes. It means refusing to see mistakes as good or bad. It means perceiving them instead as choices that offer opportunities for growth. Fathers who suspend judgment do not name a behavior a "mistake" or judge it until they see how the child chooses to use it.
 
7.    Fantastic fathers see children as teachers. They recognize that their children have much to offer in helping them learn and grow as a parent and as a human being. Fantastic fathers are aware that their children are offering lessons. They look for their lesson first. They focus on what they need to learn and change rather than on what their child needs to learn. They often become the student and allow their child to be the teacher.
 
All fathers have unique traits that enable them to find favor in their child's eyes. On Father’s Day children around the world recognize and honor their dads. As you enjoy this day, use it to strengthen your resolve to continue parenting like no other and remain a fantastic father.
 
Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman are co-authors of The 10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose. Visit their blog at:
www.uncommon-parenting.com


10 Commitments: Parenting with Purpose

CLICK HERE TO ORDER THE 10 COMMINTMENTS: PARENTING WITH PURPOSE.

5. Blogitus

Yes, we have "blogitus," that affliction that encourages us to return to the computer to add more blogs to our www.uncommon-parenting.com web site than we ever imagined we would create. And we are having fun writing for our readers and hearing back from you. It is exciting to get almost daily and immediate feedback on our ideas.

Warning: Your comments on our posts are encouraging us to keep going. Surely, more will follow soon due to the interest you are expressing.

Recent blog posts you might have missed include:

Please join us at www.uncommon-parenting.com and become a reader and a responder on our new web site. Sign up today on the right-hand side of the home page. And while you're there, check out some of the informational articles we have posted.


Copyright

Copyright 2009 Chick Moorman Seminars and Thomas Haller Seminars, all rights reserved. Share this with your circle.

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Parent Talk Tip

Lead with Curiosity

When in doubt, lead with curiosity. Not sure what happened to the rhubarb pie you had in the refrigerator? Refuse to accuse. Say instead, "I wonder what happened to that rhubarb pie I had in the refrigerator?"

Wanting to give your child advice? Put the brakes on. Accelerate with curiosity. Replace the advice with "I wonder what would have happened if you had told her directly?"

"What do you think would have been her response if you asked her politely?" is more helpful than "I told you so."

"Can you imagine what the outcome will be if this continues like this?" encourages the child to think. "That won’t work because . . ." does the child's thinking for her.

Using Parent Talk that genuinely expresses curiosity helps children do their own thinking, predict their own results, imagine their own outcomes, and see their own responsibility in the cause and effect relationship they are activating. I wonder what will happen if you employ this technique regularly?



He's Number One

Listen to Thomas Haller's  #1-rated radio show, "Life Answers with Dr. Tom," on WIOG, Thursdays from 7-8 a.m., FM 102.5 in Mid-Michigan.



Special Event

The Parent Talk System Training of Trainers
July 30 – Aug. 1, 2009
Spring Arbor University
19855 West Outer Drive
Suite 300 E
Dearborn, MI

There is still time to qualify for the early bird discount. Space is limited and filling fast.



Book of the Month

The Only Three Discipline Strategies You Will Ever Need: Essential Tools for Busy Parents

by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller

Soft cover, 120-page book ($14.95) [Add to cart]

This useful book delivers three practical, amazingly simple verbal discipline strategies that will work with your children, from tots to teens!


CLICK HERE TO ORDER.

Schedule

June 11 - Cancun, Mexico.
Spirit Whisperers presented by Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman. For information contact Yessica at 001-52-998-8845438 or email
vigilesc27@hotmail.com
 
June 12 - Cancun, Mexico.
How to Talk to Children About Sex presented by Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman AM. For information contact Yessica at 001-52-998-8845438 or email
vigilesc27@hotmail.com.
 
June 12 - Cancun, Mexico.
The Law of Attraction presented by Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman PM. For information contact Yessica at 001-52-998-8845438 or email
vigilesc27@hotmail.com
 
June 13 - Cancun, Mexico.
Teaching the Law of Attraction to Children presented by Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman, AM. For information contact Yessica at 001-52-998-8845438 or email
vigilesc27@hotmail.com
 
June 13 - Cancun, Mexico.
Transforming Aggression in Children presented by Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman PM. For information contact Yessica at 001-52-998-8845438 or email
vigilesc27@hotmail.com.



Chick Moorman

Contact Chick at 877-360-1477 (toll-free) or e-mail him at ipp57@aol.com.


CLICK HERE TO VISIT CHICK'S WEBSITE.

Thomas Haller

Contact Thomas at 989-686-5356 or e-mail him at thomas@thomashaller.com.


CLICK HERE TO VISIT THOMAS' WEBSITE.

Links

Contact

Personal Power Press
P.O. Box 547
Merrill, MI 48637
1-877-360-1477

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